Good evening all
I’ve been a long time lurker, but first time poster
I currently share the care of my 76 year old dad with my mother. He was diagnosed with dementia in 2018, up until July last year he was okay(ish) - could be left alone, gentle prodding with daily tasks like teeth etc
He however suffered a hospital stay and since he came home he has gone down hill rapidly, we are coping and managing with him but his cognitive abilities have taken a. sharp drop following 2 months in hospital, several bouts of delirium etc he also lost the ability to walk due to being bed bound for 2 months in hospital and very very little physio
My mother is a nurse so she has been looking after him, and through her grit
and determination (and her medical training) we have managed to get him back on his feet again, albeit at first with assistance and now he can slowly walk unaided, only around the living room - and with one of us near by incase we see wobbles and can react
He has a bed in the living room, we have hospital sides as my dad used to fall out of bed a lot (before dementia) due to sleep paralysis - Currently he sleeps through the night with no medications or issues at all but the sides are needed due to his history of sleep
Since has has been rehabbed to be on his feet again, he has become quite challenging to manage his safety in bed during the late evening
He has suffered with sundowning since his hospital stay, anything from 4/5pm onwards and the usual sundowning which we read about in here kicks in - wanting to go outside, pulling his bed sheets out, threading with his hands, talking jibberish etc
The only problem is he is now starting to kick the bed sides in frustration, or tries climbing over them - he is never left in the room alone but my god, he can be quick! I literally popped to the kitchen to get a drink and within 20 seconds he was hanging over the bed rails with one foot on the bed, and the other hanging over the rail, I had to push him back on the bed for his safety, I got shouted at slightly (but nothing we haven’t dealt with before) - and he sat back down - only problem is, he then tries to do it again a few minutes later and the cycle continues
Here is our dilemma, we know it’s because the hospital sides upset him (he’s told us when he’s cognitive he feels trapped) - but we can’t have the sides down all the time as he isn’t always steady on his feet - sometimes he can try and stand up to quick and wobble and nearly fall and we have to sit him back down
So the dilemma we have is that we can’t have the bed sides down at all times as he can sometimes try standing up too quick and cause himself to wobble, but having them up all the time is making him upset and dangerous for him due to climbing etc
Some days are worse than others, and usually in the daytime he is more relaxed and we can usually sit and watch TV whilst the bed sides are down, and he we either lay down, or sit up at the side of the bed - but as the day gets on, he gets more unsteady on his feet and so we can’t allow him to just get up and walk about, if this all makes sense ?
Does anybody have any advice or experience with this ? He isn’t at the level where we need to think of a care home, and to be honest if he did go into a CH, the falls risk would be 100% worse as we know staff can’t 1-1 people all the time
Our admiral nurse has suggested a small dose of diazepam to help his agitation in the evenings, does anybody think this may work?
Also, whilst I am here - my dad has completely lost the ability to concentrate on anything such as the TV, read the paper etc - it’s a far cry from the days before hospital when he would sit and watch Tv All day!
But since he has come home from hospital, he cannot watch the tv or do anything really - He wakes up, eats and then he will sit in his bed “rocking” back and forwards, pulling his sheets etc until one of us gets him out and takes him for a walk to the garden, kitchen etc. Then he will want to sit back in bed for a while, and then he will want to get out again.
This process is usually the easiest, and it’s nice to walk with him and he gets joy out of seeing the garden and birds etc. but as I said above, from 4/5ish onwards this becomes quite draining
I am so sorry for the HUGE post, just wanted to introduce myself, my dad and our situation to see if anyone can give advice
To sum everything up
- Does anybody have any advice for PWD who are semi - bed bound? how to keep them comfortable and entertained
- Anybody know how to help with the lack of concentration on TV or anything (we have tried fiddle blankets etc be just throws them to the side)
- Any guidance on how to deal with the stubbornness of “wanting” to do something (such as walking to the kitchen) but not physically able to do it ? after about 5pm he gets tired and more unstable
Many thanks !
I’ve been a long time lurker, but first time poster
I currently share the care of my 76 year old dad with my mother. He was diagnosed with dementia in 2018, up until July last year he was okay(ish) - could be left alone, gentle prodding with daily tasks like teeth etc
He however suffered a hospital stay and since he came home he has gone down hill rapidly, we are coping and managing with him but his cognitive abilities have taken a. sharp drop following 2 months in hospital, several bouts of delirium etc he also lost the ability to walk due to being bed bound for 2 months in hospital and very very little physio
My mother is a nurse so she has been looking after him, and through her grit
and determination (and her medical training) we have managed to get him back on his feet again, albeit at first with assistance and now he can slowly walk unaided, only around the living room - and with one of us near by incase we see wobbles and can react
He has a bed in the living room, we have hospital sides as my dad used to fall out of bed a lot (before dementia) due to sleep paralysis - Currently he sleeps through the night with no medications or issues at all but the sides are needed due to his history of sleep
Since has has been rehabbed to be on his feet again, he has become quite challenging to manage his safety in bed during the late evening
He has suffered with sundowning since his hospital stay, anything from 4/5pm onwards and the usual sundowning which we read about in here kicks in - wanting to go outside, pulling his bed sheets out, threading with his hands, talking jibberish etc
The only problem is he is now starting to kick the bed sides in frustration, or tries climbing over them - he is never left in the room alone but my god, he can be quick! I literally popped to the kitchen to get a drink and within 20 seconds he was hanging over the bed rails with one foot on the bed, and the other hanging over the rail, I had to push him back on the bed for his safety, I got shouted at slightly (but nothing we haven’t dealt with before) - and he sat back down - only problem is, he then tries to do it again a few minutes later and the cycle continues
Here is our dilemma, we know it’s because the hospital sides upset him (he’s told us when he’s cognitive he feels trapped) - but we can’t have the sides down all the time as he isn’t always steady on his feet - sometimes he can try and stand up to quick and wobble and nearly fall and we have to sit him back down
So the dilemma we have is that we can’t have the bed sides down at all times as he can sometimes try standing up too quick and cause himself to wobble, but having them up all the time is making him upset and dangerous for him due to climbing etc
Some days are worse than others, and usually in the daytime he is more relaxed and we can usually sit and watch TV whilst the bed sides are down, and he we either lay down, or sit up at the side of the bed - but as the day gets on, he gets more unsteady on his feet and so we can’t allow him to just get up and walk about, if this all makes sense ?
Does anybody have any advice or experience with this ? He isn’t at the level where we need to think of a care home, and to be honest if he did go into a CH, the falls risk would be 100% worse as we know staff can’t 1-1 people all the time
Our admiral nurse has suggested a small dose of diazepam to help his agitation in the evenings, does anybody think this may work?
Also, whilst I am here - my dad has completely lost the ability to concentrate on anything such as the TV, read the paper etc - it’s a far cry from the days before hospital when he would sit and watch Tv All day!
But since he has come home from hospital, he cannot watch the tv or do anything really - He wakes up, eats and then he will sit in his bed “rocking” back and forwards, pulling his sheets etc until one of us gets him out and takes him for a walk to the garden, kitchen etc. Then he will want to sit back in bed for a while, and then he will want to get out again.
This process is usually the easiest, and it’s nice to walk with him and he gets joy out of seeing the garden and birds etc. but as I said above, from 4/5ish onwards this becomes quite draining
I am so sorry for the HUGE post, just wanted to introduce myself, my dad and our situation to see if anyone can give advice
To sum everything up
- Does anybody have any advice for PWD who are semi - bed bound? how to keep them comfortable and entertained
- Anybody know how to help with the lack of concentration on TV or anything (we have tried fiddle blankets etc be just throws them to the side)
- Any guidance on how to deal with the stubbornness of “wanting” to do something (such as walking to the kitchen) but not physically able to do it ? after about 5pm he gets tired and more unstable
Many thanks !
