9th of December not to be missed

[MaNaAk]

Yes I will certainly be watching this alongwith any episodes of Timothy West and Prunella Scales 'Canal Journey's'. By the way I went out shopping earlier and came back and found I had left two lights on. This made me think of dad as this was something he used to do never mind wondering if I am really alright!

MaNaAk

 

[nitram]

BUMP

On now
https://www.tvguide.co.uk/detail/3132057/145069209/care

 

[nita]

Well, it did have a "happy ever after" ending. This is familiar from Jimmy McGovern's other dramas such as "Moving On".

The final nursing home was an unbelievable vision of elegant setting; stimulating activities pursued by people who didn't look as if they had cognitive problems; it had a beautiful setting and caring manager and staff. Mary, the character played by Alison Steadman, was compliant and accepting of the new situation. The drama suggested a happy outcome.

I also understood there were some constraints with NHS CHC in that you couldn't choose the nursing home you thought ideal. This one looked as if it had all the desirable extras and would have been very expensive. It wouldn't necessarily be the ideal setting for a person with the condition Mary had, which I presume was vascular dementia.

 

[canary]

I thought it was well portrayed and realistic about the problems - right up until the end when amazingly the CHC allowed her to go to this really expensive looking nursing home that she would probably be asked to leave fairly soon (what - cynical? moi?)

 

[Grannie G]

I`ve recorded it but one legacy of being a former carer is an inability to re visit the pain so I`m not sure when I`ll be watching it.

 

[allchange]

I felt been there, done that at times.

The nursing home at the end looked more like a 1,400 a week place rather than 700 a week.

Also the discharge co-ordinator would not have had any conscience about hiding CHC and doctoring results in real life though.

Still enjoyed it though, if that is the right word. Sheridan Smith is always good.

 

[Bunpoots]

I thought it was well portrayed and realistic about the problems - right up until the end when amazingly the CHC allowed her to go to this really expensive looking nursing home that she would probably be asked to leave fairly soon (what - cynical? moi?)

My thoughts exactly!!

My dad's Carehome manager and social worker both felt dad had a good case for fast track CHC when he was refusing care and deteriorating fast but his GP refused to come and see him..

 

[Lynmax]

I felt been there, done that at times.

The nursing home at the end looked more like a 1,400 a week place rather than 700 a week.

Also the discharge co-ordinator would not have had any conscience about hiding CHC and doctoring results in real life though.

Still enjoyed it though, if that is the right word. Sheridan Smith is always good.

I agree about the nursing home, I just hope I can find such a nice home for just £700 a week when my mum needs it, as they agreed to have Mary with her anger and aggression, they must be an EMI place - bargain!

 

[canary]

And an EMI place that has people who can do things like painting without supervision too!

How long before Mary started eating the paint?!!

 

[Izzy]

And an EMI place that has people who can do things like painting without supervision too!

How long before Mary started eating the paint?!!

That so brought back memories of Bill. He went to a fortnightly art class and even with one to one supervision it was a hard job to keep him from eating the crayons and paint or drinking the painting water!

I'm a bit like Sylvia. I knew it was on but couldn't bring myself to watch it. It's 7 years since my mum died and 2.5 years since Bill died. I'm only just managing to keep it together at this time of the year and I think watching this might have tipped me over. Maybe some time I'll get round to watching it.

 

[tryingmybest]

I watched it. To me it didnt really raise awareness of this disease for those that dont know. Difficult only being an hour and a half. I could have written just that re the struggles of the Court of Protection alone!! Perhaps it should have been done as a series. So many inaccuracies. CHC funding is extremely hard to get. Painted such a happy ending in a wonderful stately care home that would certainly be around £1600 a week, not £700, for which there would be a long waiting list, and they certainly wouldnt be able to cater for Marys needs and would be asking her to leave before long. All in all a bit of a fairy story to my mind and failed to show the true horrors of dementia but then that wouldnt make good viewing would it ?!

 

[Marnie63]

I watched it because I had assumed it would be a portrayal of Vascular Dementia, which is what mum had, although for a slightly different reason (small vessel disease, followed by strokes, rather than VaD due to a massive stroke}. Someone earlier on mentioned that the public might be confused about the link between stroke and dementia - ??? - it seemed clear to me that the main character had dementia following the stroke so not sure what the reference was to any confusion?

I was a bit bemused by the captions/subtitles that came up when Mary's comments weren't making sense - I assume that was a guess at what she might have been trying to say?! How would anyone know though?

Apart from the sad scene in the not so nice nursing home where a lady was weeing in the corridor, there wasn't too much reference to incontinence, which presumably Mary would have been suffering after a stroke like that. But, I appreciate the focus was on 'care', and it seemed to do a good job of highlighting all the hoops and barriers that people have to deal with (and made me realise just how much knowledge I have about all of this after the experience with mum!).

It didn't upset me at all, three months after mum's death, but seeing how the stroke affected Mary, and seeing some of her behaviours made me a bit sad as we had some of that with mum. I thought it was good, overall, but perhaps the happy ending was a bit optimistic.

 

[Amanda2014]

Hello everyone.

I just felt compelled to write after watching a Sheridan Smith fictional drama on telly last night called "Care" about a family who has to deal with the sudden onset of dementia in their mother following a stroke, and I was wondering if anyone else watched it and felt it was realistic of their own experiences?

I really enjoyed it and saw a lot of the same frustrations in the two young women in the programme as it reminded me of my sister and I - we both have very young families - and how we had to cope with getting our father the care he deserved as his Alzheimer's progressed. He also has Parkinson's, which affects his mobility.

One thing that really bugged me though, was the CHC solution at the end of the programme. We too were told by hospital workers that he did not qualify for an assessment, although when we insisted he did qualify for a full assessment after the checklist was completed. But I felt like we were annoying both the hospital and Adult Social Care by even asking to have an assessment carried out, and in the end they decided he did not qualify for full funding, but was awarded FNC instead. I sort of wish I had appealed now, as my Dad seems just as poorly as the mother in the programme.

Also, I was told that CHC would not fund any nursing home of our choice, but the cheapest one available to keep costs down. So, I was surprised that the ladies in the programme managed to secure a beautiful home for their mother, one that offers painting and other such activities to residents.
We pay for my father's care out of his savings - as I am sure many others of you do - but we were unable to afford a "nice" home like that as the savings would not last and we were told that CHC would not pick up the bill when the savings ran out, even if my father did later qualify. So, we have opted for a home that is an almost middle-of-the-road option to make things as comfortable for my father for as long as possible. But, truth be told, I am still not happy. They do not organise any activities at the home to stimulate the residents and he spends his entire day dumped in front of the telly - to top things off, watching programmes that I know he hates in a communal lounge. He seems so depressed every time I visit.
I feel like a terrible daughter, but I don't feel like we have any choice as to where his care is.

I hope people don't mind me venting on this forum. I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about the programme and how I am maybe not doing enough for my father. I have today asked for a new CHC assessment to be carried out, but as soon as Adult Social Care heard that my father still had savings, they suddenly stopped being so helpful on the phone. I feel like "CHC" is a dirty word for anyone who has savings!

It was probably the last thing that the lady in the programme told to the panel, who eventually awarded her the funding, that resonated most with me. My father has paid into the NHS system for 50 years and never been a burden to it before. Maybe now, he should be entitled to recoup some of that in his care...

 

[northumbrian_k]

I have recorded it but not sure if or when I'll watch it. In April 2016, just before my wife was diagnosed, we went to the theatre to see the acclaimed play 'The Father' by Florian Zeller. Despite Kenneth Cranham’s fine performance I found the portrayal of a man's descent into dementia to be too close for comfort. My wife seemed unmoved. I'm afraid that this TV programme would have the same effect on me, whilst she would just fall asleep.

 

[nellbelles]

Like many I have recorded it, will I watch it? I honestly don’t know.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Amanda2014
vent away, that's what TP is here for
I'm sorry you lost sleep last night - and hope that drama hasn't created guilt in other carers where it simply has no place

I didn't see the programme, but gather that the outcome is not as realistic as other parts of the drama

it sounds to me that you have done and are doing everything possible for your dad - you pushed and got the FNC, well done .... CHC, well have a read of the CHC ongoing thread and I think your situation is, sadly, the real outcome rather than the fictional one of 'Care'

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/thr...are-support-thread.86059/page-37#post-1587825

 

[SerenaS]

Hi everyone,

I don't want to interrupt the discussion, just add a few comments...

It sounds like the issues raised in ‘Care’ are familiar to many members on Talking Point and many of you have been through similar experiences. For some people, good care and support can be put in place but for many people, the story doesn’t end as well.

Alzheimer’s Society was aware of the programme being made and whilst we weren’t involved in making it, we commend Jimmy McGovern for casting a light on family carers – often an invisible group of people who may end up sacrificing their careers, relationships, health and wellbeing to care for loved ones with dementia. Jimmy based the story on the real-life experiences of the programme’s co-writer who found herself caring for her mother and her own family at the same time. The broken social care system was illustrated by Jenny’s story and as many of us know, she isn’t alone.

As many Talking Point members know, it is very difficult to access NHS Continuing Healthcare (NHS CHC) for people with dementia. Because NHS CHC is awarded when a person's primary need is a health need, and dementia is classed as a social care need, NHS CHC is very hard for people affected by dementia to access - underscoring the inequity they face. Alzheimer’s Society has heard of people with dementia being denied NHS CHC even when they are at the last stages of their life, unable to eat, drink or move and has repeatedly called for the NHS CHC to reform.

If you are able to, I’d encourage you to unite with us and back the Fix Dementia Care campaign, and ensure this government turns its attentions to an issue affecting people living with dementia, and their families. To do this, visit www.alzheimers.org.uk/fixdementiacare

Please do continue to discuss this. If you have comments or questions – you're welcome to email us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk

Serena

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hi everyone,

I don't want to interrupt the discussion, just add a few comments...

It sounds like the issues raised in ‘Care’ are familiar to many members on Talking Point and many of you have been through similar experiences. For some people, good care and support can be put in place but for many people, the story doesn’t end as well.

Alzheimer’s Society was aware of the programme being made and whilst we weren’t involved in making it, we commend Jimmy McGovern for casting a light on family carers – often an invisible group of people who may end up sacrificing their careers, relationships, health and wellbeing to care for loved ones with dementia. Jimmy based the story on the real-life experiences of the programme’s co-writer who found herself caring for her mother and her own family at the same time. The broken social care system was illustrated by Jenny’s story and as many of us know, she isn’t alone.

As many Talking Point members know, it is very difficult to access NHS Continuing Healthcare (NHS CHC) for people with dementia. Because NHS CHC is awarded when a person's primary need is a health need, and dementia is classed as a social care need, NHS CHC is very hard for people affected by dementia to access - underscoring the inequity they face. Alzheimer’s Society has heard of people with dementia being denied NHS CHC even when they are at the last stages of their life, unable to eat, drink or move and has repeatedly called for the NHS CHC to reform.

If you are able to, I’d encourage you to unite with us and back the Fix Dementia Care campaign, and ensure this government turns its attentions to an issue affecting people living with dementia, and their families. To do this, visit www.alzheimers.org.uk/fixdementiacare

Please do continue to discuss this. If you have comments or questions – you're welcome to email us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk

Serena

I have just tried to add my name in support on the link above but it isn't registering my details when clicked on.

 

[Mark_W]

Sorry about that @love.dad.but.. we'll take a look and see what's going wrong there.

 

[Malalie]

Same here - nothing happens when you click "add name".