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5 months on

Il Gufo

Registered User
Feb 27, 2013
Hi everyone. I haven't visited this site since just after Mum's funeral in January. But suddenly thought of you all today, and wanted to take a look to see how you all are. As you can imagine it has been a difficult time since losing my lovely Mum, although it was definitely time for her to let go and join her Fred so they could dance above the clouds :)
Some of you may remember the very difficult relationship I had with my brother - for a lot of the time he was one of the Invisibles. We have never enjoyed an easy relationship, he is 18 months older than me. I also have a sister 14 years younger than me and we are extremely close.
Well, they say very cloud has a silver lining - and I think it must be true! Even before Mum's funeral my brother seemed to change. I was dreading involving him in the arrangements - he paid for the plot when Dad died, so he needed to sign all the forms etc. He was agreeable, sympathetic and concerned how me and my sister were coping. At the funeral he gave a wonderful eulogy, and then shocked me and my sister when she was upset at the wake, saying she wished we could get on, and that we never liked each other. He replied "Never used to like each other". Since then we have enjoyed normal phone calls and the odd meeting (we live 100 miles apart). It is truly as if someone has taken my old brother away, and brought me a new, much improved version :)
My sister's husband has a theory. He reckons that there is only so much niceness to go round in a family - and we had to wait til Mum passed for him to get her 'niceness quota'! I sometimes wish that Mum could have been here to see our new closeness - although I know she is looking down with a smile and seeing it anyway.
I wish you all peace and strength as you travel with your loved ones along the path with the vile disease that is dementia. And hope that you too will have a silver lining. xxx

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
What a lovely post and how good to hear of the improved relationship with your brother. :)