4am start again I’m so tired

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kennyboy, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. Kennyboy

    Kennyboy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2019
    47
    hi all, After another 4am start today, and stroppy attitude when I point out it’s too early to get up, the time has come to ask for medication to help our PWD to sleep. We have decided to start the carer/companion service next week as we can not go on without help, spoke to nurse from dementia clinic to see if there are any activities that my sons Nan can go to, they do run one at the centre but there is a waiting list, and likewise there is only one day centre open in this area ( others have been closed by council) and there is a long waiting list for this one. So we are going to engage this company to help out and also see if there are any groups locally run by volunteers to see if there are any she can attend. The nurse was apologising to me about the lack of services for PWD but it’s not her fault, I think Wales is particularly poor in this area. When we had check up at the hospital last Thursday they increased her Donepezil from 5mg to 10 mg I am keeping an eye out for side effects, she did have an accident yesterday so I’m wondering if it’s upsetting her tummy, I will see how it goes. She can be very aggressive so I’m really hoping that this increase in medication does not increase this aggression well time will tell. We are fortunate that paying for carers is not going to be a problem for our PWD. My husband and myself are really really tired as I’ve got numerous health issues, we have to start to withdraw and bring carers in gradually to take over our role. What I found frustrating at the hospital appointment was that you had no opportunity to tell the Doctor what’s happening without the PWD being there, as ours says there is nothing wrong with her if we had said anything about her lack of sleeping or the aggressive behavior she would have gone mad, why don’t they give the family the opportunity to speak to them alone, they know that many Alzheimers patients fail to recognise that there is anything wrong.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,891
    Female
    Dundee
    I’m sorry to hear your update and hope that things go well with the carers when you get them organised.

    When I used to take my husband to appointments at the GP or memory clinic I used to write down an update on how things had been since the last visit. I described his health and behaviour and also my concerns. I handed this in the day before the appointment so that the doctor could have the information without me having to talk about the issues in front of my husband. Would this work for you?
     
  3. Kennyboy

    Kennyboy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2019
    47
    Izzy thank you for your reply, yes that would w
    thank you Izzy for your reply, yes that would work for us it’s a really good idea, we have literally dropped into this situation due to my sons grandfather passing away at the end of August, my son his brother and their wives work so my husband and myself said we would help, we had no idea how bad things were because my sons grandfather just buried his head in the sand and kept her in the house away from people, she only had the diagnosis 6 months ago but I think she has had this for years as far back as 8 years ago, she is 78 yrs old, so when we went to the appointment it was our first one so we didn’t know what to expect. As I said we are finding it really hard, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, Asthma and lung problems so this constant 4-5am start is making me so tired, plus her aggressive behaviour is really difficult to deal with, sorry for the moan but it’s hard as I’m sure you can appreciate
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,891
    Female
    Dundee
    It’s not a moan at all! Wishing you strength.
     
  5. BryanG2001

    BryanG2001 Registered User

    Mar 2, 2014
    57
  6. Kennyboy

    Kennyboy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2019
    47
    "
    Hi thank you for your reply, we have tried all of these things but nothing works she won’t go back to bed even when you tell her it’s the middle of the night, it would not be so bad if she came downstairs herself and got her breakfast we put it all ready the night before, but she insists on coming into our bedroom and waking us up and telling us it’s time to get up, if I tell her we are not getting up she goes off in a strop and just keeps coming back in every hour, she then goes on to be in a bad mood all day because we wouldn’t get up. I really think that we will have to get medication to help her sleep, does the sleeping tablet affect cognitive function ?
     
  7. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    766
    Female
    cornwall
    Have you not thought of respite? Even for a weekend?
    Sometimes no matter what you do, say or who is there nothing changes..At least not for a while.

    My dad Had Mirtazapine increased from 15mg to 30mg. He sleeps better at night but he appears calmer during the day.
     

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