Im disabled and had no help from social services till two weeks ago when after phoning them for help in looking after my 80 yrs.mum they heard her say she hit me with a saucepan if I didn't stop chatting about her! (In past all they said was have a sitter) give them their due someone came next day.shes gotten emergency respite im two days in ...bliss after reading here I can recharge my batteries through im just tidying up for now and looking fo lost items? Found hearing aids/£50 and not nice.. a poo parcel no false teeth. I've been looking after mum two years by myself (my aunt sits on sunday 3hrs so i can see dad)shes goes day care twice aweek four hours fly by! Two questions im going for a DWP assessment today as there making everyone go back on job seekers can the they force me look for work as I've got a job 24/7 (mum) who stays with mum? Im might just take her (and her saucepan) with me to job interviews? Also I can cope with mum with most of her "little ways" except the repeat questions. .people say deflect or change subject, mum has one track mind with this as with "unlock the door I'm going home" 22 times in 50 minutes(the record so far) . So any pointers please .only been on TP since sunday already seen about paracetamol will try this soon.one more question new door on flat now can't lock door if I nip to shops (500 ft) mum takes too long to get ready just for milk.if I lock it she can just turn button lock and walk out shes done it twice (Council says if in afire we dont need to find keys to unlock) Fitted a combination bolt (screwfix £14) I need to do excercise in stairs of flats to keep fit (mum no good on stairs) all i get is "can't lock her in health and safety "how about mums safety? Or my guilt if she gets out again and get hurt.if she sat watching tv and im gone for 20-30mins whats the problem? As I did with the old door.
2 years...
- Thread starter Don?
- Start date
Welcome to TP 
Firstly it's good your mum is in respite. Ask social services about a package of care for when she gets home. Tell them you can't cope anymore.
It isn't safe to lock someone in.
Why don't you give the helpline a ring & talk it through with them?
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/...ID=200365&_ga=1.8033842.1257954206.1452775979
Firstly it's good your mum is in respite. Ask social services about a package of care for when she gets home. Tell them you can't cope anymore.
It isn't safe to lock someone in.
Why don't you give the helpline a ring & talk it through with them?
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/...ID=200365&_ga=1.8033842.1257954206.1452775979
Don, it's great you have emergency respite but don't stop badgering social services for help. They have to give you a carers assessment BY LAW. Ask for day care and/or sitting service. You need to tell them she is a vulnerable adult at risk (of wandering, for a start) for whom they have duty of care. Tell them you will make them fully responsible if she comes to harm through THEIR neglect. Also ask for an OT to check out the flat and for telecare to assess you for trackers and/or door alarms. I am afraid you really can't lock her in when you go out as this is unsafe and potentially distressing for her but the wandering risk must be addressed by SS through the methods above. Now is the time to get this all put in motion. Don't wait till she is back!
I dont get carers allowance as either I was told it was because she hadn't got the attendance she has now or because I get DLA higher rate I dont remember which as ive lost the letter . social come yesterday all the comments made here the social are making arrangements to do when she come home so I think they're finally pulling they're finger out!and I get I cant lock in ..but I stil can't do my excercise how about my wellbeing? Thanks for comments I feel happy after reading some posts I even laugh out loud or just smile...thinking "I could have wrote that"
Hi Don?
you may not be eligible for Carer's Allowance if you are receiving another benefit - others know more than me about that
the Carer's Assessment is wholly separate and is through your LA Adult Services - it is for you as a carer to assess your needs and support available for you - it may be that you can have a sitter for, say, and hour so that you can get out and do something you want to - every carer has the right to this assessment, so have a word with SS
you may not be eligible for Carer's Allowance if you are receiving another benefit - others know more than me about that
the Carer's Assessment is wholly separate and is through your LA Adult Services - it is for you as a carer to assess your needs and support available for you - it may be that you can have a sitter for, say, and hour so that you can get out and do something you want to - every carer has the right to this assessment, so have a word with SS
