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2 of my worse nightmares

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Haverton, Jan 10, 2017.

  1. Haverton

    Haverton Registered User

    Sep 12, 2016
    #1 Haverton, Jan 10, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017
    The first is that I become aggressive with my dear wife or others. She has supported me so much through a host of illnesses. Then to have a recent diagnoses of early onset of mixed dementia has been a big blow to us. I know I have a progressive disease and some of what I have learned makes me feel quite anxious.

    The other fear I have is being unable to swallow. In truth I am absolutely at my wits end with worry.

    I am weary of speaking of my fears and coming across so negative especially as I get such positive feedback and support from others on this forum. I try to maintain a positive ethos and I do to a certain extent but some symptoms relating to this disease more than put me out of my comfort zone.

    How do others cope with the symptoms I have spoke of above? I would appreciate any advice from anyone who can help
  2. AlsoConfused

    AlsoConfused Registered User

    Sep 17, 2010
    Dear Haverton, of course you're scared ... who wouldn't be? Worrying about something that may never happen, though, is not a good use of your time ... which is precious.

    When I was getting more and more wound up over a scary future, I had to keep on telling myself firmly "STOP!". Then I'd fill my mind with re-experiencing one of the specially happy moments in my life, one which still cast a glow over everything years later. This approach helped me - please try it and see whether it helps you.
  3. Haverton

    Haverton Registered User

    Sep 12, 2016
    Dear Also Confused - thank you so much for your reply it puts everything in prospective. I take on board that worrying about things that might not happen - it's a good point.

    I have one memory that surpasses any other and as you suggest I will try to hold it in my memory for as long as I can.

    I am so wrapped up in self that I have never asked how you and others on this forum are doing. Once this is overcome I would very much like to offer my support to others on this forum.
  4. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    Hi Haverton,

    Of course, you are worried, anxious and fearful. Your wife is obviously an amazing lady and am sure you can share your worries with her.

    It is not always possible to be positive. In my humble opinion, it may not even be healthy. Feelings are part of us and need expression. Just my opinion.

  5. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Hi Haverton. Write out and pin to the noticeboard " Not every person gets every symptom"..it's true. My late Mum, who was 87 when she died, had mixed Dementia and when I looked at the list of " stages"..... she would have a bit of this stage and a bit of that one but never got the worst of all levels.

    Has your dear wife joined TP in her own right yet? She will also get the support that you get from being a member of a huge support circle.

    Good luck and keep posting.
  6. Haverton

    Haverton Registered User

    Sep 12, 2016
    Thank you all for responding to my post. I find your advice and suggestions to be of much value. Thank you also for sharing your experience of living with this disease.

    I have had a very full day in a gardening setting catering for those who have mental health problems including dementia. I like to partake in this club as it gives me the opportunity to work and see an end product, focus on other things rather than illness and socialise with people who share a common interest. My memory doctor and her staff encourage me to attend this setting under the Living Well With Dementia ethos.

    Thanks again for your support, hope you all are having a good day.
  7. Jeanie 73

    Jeanie 73 Registered User

    Apr 20, 2013
    N Lincolnshire
    I did start to have problems swallowing a while ago and didn't tell memory clinic until last week, when I remembered! Someone is coming to see me at home about it. It has not actually changed much in the past year and I find eating slowly and perhaps chewing my food more does help.
    What ever it is that besets us those at memory clinic or our own Doctors will know of it, and also what will help us!
    My biggest fear initially was perhaps not knowing my children, but over time I have found that what ever it was that I could not do,may not happen again for a considerable time.
    I doubt there is anyone diagnosed with it that does not worry about some aspect of it, but over time personally I think we learn too live with it[emoji173][emoji173]

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

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