2 different stories

[Smithydonna]

Hi I’m new to the forum
My mum has vascular dementia following a stroke and isn’t mobile. She has a partner that is her carer and also has carers twice a day. Mum laughs a lot but has a poor memory and forgets who’s who but fine when prompted.
My mother in law lives 200 miles from us and has Alzheimer’s but my father in law isn’t accepting of it, won’t get help in case it upsets her. She hasn’t seen a doctor since diognosis 2 yrs ago. She is repetitive and confused and dosnt remember people. We would like to move near us but dad won’t We are concerned but what can we do,

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to TP, Smithydonna. I'm sorry your family have so much to deal with. My partner has vascular dementia too and her ability to laugh does take some of the strain out of caring.
There's many lovely people on here who can advise you better on how to help your in-laws, but I just wanted you to now you are not alone.

 

[Bunpoots]

Hello @Smithydonna

My dad has vascular dementia and Altzheimers and is now in fairly severe stages. He's cheerful and thinks there's nothing wrong with him. He was diagnosed about 3 years ago, although we had noticed a few things for a about a year before that. He lives alone, so a big worry now - although he managed fine for 2 1/2yrs with help from me ( I live a couple of miles away from him. He now has carers 4 times a day which has been working well until he got an infection last week and is now in hospital. I'm hoping he'll be able to return home with the carers when he's better.

There will come a time when your father in law realises that he needs more help but until then there is little you can do, except be there.

If you keep reading and posting on this site you will find a wealth of information. Many members are/have been where you are now. And many support their loved ones with dementia from a distance.

Re the doctor - there's not much can be done for vascular dementia unless the PWD is ill or has a crisis. Social services are more helpful.

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Smithydonna welcome to TP
The situation with your MIL sounds very difficult, but if FIL is refusing to move and also refusing to allow any help in the home as far as I can see there will be little at this time you can do to help.