1st day on my own

[larivy]

Today is the 1st day I have been on my own since losing mum I had a few things to do it just seemed so strange not having to clock watch but it was so lonely going into the shops without her I have not been brave enough yet to go to te**o
It all seems so unreal I just can't be leave she's gone I still expect her to be at home and I often think I hear her call me only to find a empty room
Me and mum really loved Christmas and I was praying mum would be here for this Christmas half of me wanted her here but the other half did not want her to suffer any more I know she is at peace now and is up their showing my dad and her family how to jet ski
My family have been great someone comes every day and they phone me 2to3times a day some times abit ott but it's not the same I know I have got to get used to being at home on my own poor Bertie legs must be 2inchs shorter the amount of walks his been having we are off to training tonight the first time in the good boy class
Usually I come back and tell mum all about it she used to laugh at his antics
I am just having a bad day but it's good to know I can talk to people on TP and know they understand thank you larivy

 

[CaPattinson]

Dear Larivy you were so very close to your mum, you will miss her, I'm sure. I'm sad for you, need to send love and hugs to one amazing lady and daughter

You have many friends here to chat to, we're all here for you

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[Saffie]

I'm so sorry that you are so sad but know that it is entirely natural. It is still very early days and I sometimes miss my mum after 30 years. Not in the same way of course but i can get very sad thinking of how she changed so much and was so frightened by her AD. Things of course will get better for you, little by little, but you wil always have a special part of you that is linked for ever to your mother. Special days will bring back memories which might make you cry, or even a quick flash of something familiar might, but more and more the happy memories of time past - before the dementia set in will bring you comfort. Lots of love X

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit blue, Laraine. I don't think it would be natural if you didn't. You were so close to each other, you and your lovely mum. We ARE here for you. You are right on that. A big hug to you and another big hug for Bertie. x

 

[creativesarah]

http://youtu.be/dsoADdJj5Dk

just a little video of His Master!

lots of support and thanks for such a brilliant day, not to mention the icecream!

 

[grove]

Hello Laraine , So sorry to read you are having a Sad Day but it is normal & very early days for you yet . ( Agree with what Saffie said )

Sending much Love , Peace & Comfort for today & in the weeks to come , hope you & Bertie enjoy the Claas tonight ( does it not shut for Christmas ? )

Bertie 's Teacher must be very keen ! ! ! ! LOL ( to have a Class Christmas week ! )

Take Care

Love & Hugs Love Grove x x

 

[Coletta]

Dear Larivy

I can so empathise with how you are feeling. It's great your family are rallying round with visits and their phone calls, it breaks up the time. Your little Bertie is so cute, a lovely picture of you on Sarah's thread! He will help to keep you going, in both senses.
We will also be getting one in the New Year!

Coletta xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Laraine

We all know the hole your mum will have left in your life, but give yourself time and you will get through it slowly, day by day.

Glad you could come to TP to share your bad day. Can`t help much other than to feel for you.

Hope Bertie behaves tonight.

Love xx

 

[piedwarbler]

It's really great that your family are supporting you with little phone calls, Larivy, and I bet Bertie is giving you lots and lots of love, in spite of all the walks!

However it is natural that your Christmas will be a time to remember your mum and to miss her. She was such a special lady. I am sure she would want you to smile as you remember her even if you shed a tear as well.

I am sending you a special Christmas hug and my very best wishes xxxx

Love,

 

[danny]

Hi Larivy, big hug from Cornwall.

 

[creativesarah]

did the video link work ok?

 

[creativesarah]

thats ok then i was a bit worried!
this photo is esp for nelbelles!

 

[elaine n]

It's hard isn't it Laraine?

Good days, bad days, good mornings, bad mornings and Christmas looming so large.
I guess it's easier for me because Gary hadn't been home since August so I'd become used to an empty house although I still knew he was there somewhere and still had a caring role of sorts.
There's no easy way round this, having all the time in the world to do things you need to do or want to do is so alien to us when we've been used to having limited time to ourselves is really wierd. Then there's the feelings of guilt because when you're a full time carer you want that time for yourself and now you'd give anything not to have it. It goes on and on but we're strong, stronger than when we started this awful dementia journey and we'll come out the other side somehow. We'll bury the memories of how awful it was for our loved ones or deal with it somehow and carry on, because we have no choice.

You have a wonderful family who care about you and look out for you and that's something to treasure xxxxe

 

[Izzy]

Hi Larivy. I know how you must be feeling. This is our first Christmas without mum and it seems very strange. She too used to love all the trappings of Christmas and it seems odd to be involved in these without her. Thinking of you. xx

 

[nellbelles]

Today has been a big step for you and a hard one, life does throw some hard stuff at us doesn't it.

I am glad that you have Bertie to walk, even if you are walking his poor little legs off..

Love the photo Sarah, if Bertie is Santa's little helper I hope he is not nipping the reindeer's hoofs.

I wish you the strength to tackle the coming days, I'm sure that you and your family will all support each other.

Love Helen x x

 

[Helen33]

You must be back from big boys school by now and I hope Bertie was top of the class. Your mum is such a massive part of your life that it can only feel really strange that she is missing. I used to keep waking in a panic when I awoke in the night and Alan wasn't there I kept thinking that he might fall down the stairs and then I would remember that he had flown away for good.

Thank goodness you have Bertie to pour your love and care onto. I bet he loves you to bits.

 

[BeckyJan]

Just here now to add my support at such a difficult time.
I will never walk into a T..co again without thinking about you and your lovely Mum so can imagine how hard it is for you.

Thankfully you have lovely Bertie to help you through this. I love the pics of him and see what a treasure he is to you.

Take care Love

 

[maryw]

I echo Becky Jan's comments. We're here to support. It will take a long while to readjust but you will get there. It is so lovely you have Bertie - he is also a living link to your Mum. Enjoy the walks and training xx