11 years of stress

[sunflower123]

Hello, this is my first time on here. My father has had Alzheimers for 11 years. My Mother was his main carer even though she had a couple of days respite from 9-3 it was not enough for her to try and relax. She was caring 24 hours a day and was exhousted and died suddenly a week after my dad went into a residential home. He was kicked out of the care home because of his aggression just over 3 years ago and has since been in a nursing home. There is nothing there except his shell anymore. He is on liquidised food and thickened liquids to which is a struggle for him. He aspirated a couple of weeks ago and rushe into Hospital with aspirated pneumonia but has now nearly made a full recovery (well sort of). He is due to go back to the nursing home this evening who left him to get very dehyut they do!drated and I am worried that we will have to go through exactly the same thing again very soon. It's very hard to watch them suffer and being SO helpless.

Anyone else been or going through the same thing?

when you think things can't get any worse but they deffinately do!!

 

[Shedrech]

Hi sunflower123
welcome to TP - there's a wealth of experience here for you to tap into - good listeners and lots to offer sympathy
so sorry to read that you lost your mother and of your father's condition
I hope the care home staff have taken on board that your father needs careful supervision
he's fortunate that he has you to look out for him
I hope you have someone for you too
post here as often as you wish
best wishes

 

[sunflower123]

Hi sunflower123
welcome to TP - there's a wealth of experience here for you to tap into - good listeners and lots to offer sympathy
so sorry to read that you lost your mother and of your father's condition
I hope the care home staff have taken on board that your father needs careful supervision
he's fortunate that he has you to look out for him
I hope you have someone for you too
post here as often as you wish
best wishes

Thanks for your kind words, i just wished I knew about this forum sooner it would of supported me and our family through the difficuilt stages but hey better late than never1

 

[fizzie]

Awww sunflower you have been through so much - sending you a hug, don't have any real suggestions I'm sorry except to share with the manager that you are worried (never hurts to alert them) and keep an eye on it.
I agree with Shedrech I do hope you have someone who can help look after you!
lots of support on here xxxx

 

[Gwendy1]

Hi sunflower, I really feel for u and the huge stess u must be under. My dad has also had pneumonia twice, back at care home and has stabilized for now.. Also, I lost my mum 2years ago, she had been caring for dad. Wish I could make things better for u, I really do. Try to just take one day at a time and not panic.. That's what I try to tell myself anyway. Xx

 

[sunflower123]

The beginning of the end?

Thank you shedrech and fizzie for your advice.

My dad was transferred back to the care home yesterday following a week and a half in hospital with aspirated pneumonia. The doctor said that it's a wonder he came through it. I arrived at the home a bit later than usual around 6ish. I was shocked to see the sundowning of many patients together as it was frightening, so many patients walking about and going into other bedrooms. My dad is bed bedbound and is very vulnerable and I havent slept all night worrying about his safety! This morning I decided to call the manager and said that I wasn't happy for my dad to be so vulnerable from all these patients walking in and out (staff were all sat around the same table in another room). They said that another bed would be available in another part in around a week's time. I said that another day where he is now is too much and there is a definate safeguarding issue and yes they found another bed and he is moving 3pm today. He is moving into another building which provides more nursing and end of life care. It's heartbreaking to watch him in this state, he is semi consious most of the time and cannot move so I think this is definately the beginning of the end of this horriffic illness that I would not wish on no one.. I thought I was coping well and when you think it cant get any worse it does. Struggling badly to cope and I am having continuous palpitations with the stress. I have a very supporting partner, 3 children in their 20's who help and a 2 year old grandaughter who always does the trick of cheering me up, I now need to see her so badly! lol. I wish money w ould be raised as much as is for cancer to find a cure but we live in hope that one day we will find a breakthrough. Thank you if you have read all this. Best wishes.

Ann

 

[Timeout]

Don't despair, your dad may rally yet. My mum was exactly the same after being discharged from hospital on Christmas Eve on end of life care. She started to eat and drink pureed food and thickened drinks and is now fairly stable. Her condition is a lot lower than she was before and she's hoisted from bed to a special chair in the day after being mostly Bedbound for January and February. Hang on in there, sending you positive thoughts x

 

[canary]

Hello sunflower, I hope the move went well and your dad is now more comfortable.
Be gentle with yourself and treasure the moments you have. I hope you can get to see your granddaughter soon
xx