First let me apologize for my long delay in replying to you all which was totally out of my hands, in fact I was replying to a Message on Alzheimer’s Talking Point “BUT” just as I started to type the reply my computer crashed to be alongside my brain and no matter what I tried it would not work again and has been and still is under repair since Sunday 20 Jan, I’ve been told that the hard drive was just too old causing the computer to die on me! Problem is that now “I might” have lost my entire computer data but there’s nothing I can do about it, the lad in the computer shop is trying to retrieve what information he can but I was told not to hold out to much hope so more torment for my confused mind.
Anyway I just couldn’t live without a computer any longer so yesterday I bought myself a T!!!!! i5 laptop which I’m trying to get used to using! OMG, Wow what a difference from my other computer I just hope that my brain can adapt to the totally new system as they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (time will tell) and a lot of practice, well at least it will keep my brain active!
To be very honest it absolutely devastated me as I might have lost all my data… all my dementia information and stories, dementia videos, all my poems and the books that I wrote about my illness “All Gone” and maybe never to be seen again… it’s as though something has just wiped out my whole life of every memory that I’ve been trying to retain, I’m sure that only a person that has some type of dementia could understand just how it’s made me feel as it’s like teetering on the edge of life and about to tumble into the abyss of total oblivion…
So my whole world crashed about my feet to be with my brain and I said to Sumi I just don’t know after over 8 years of this terrible illness just how much more I can take of all the different adversities being thrown at me day after day, I just feel like saying “Enough is Enough” as the fight becomes more arduous every day…
“BUT” despite all this I decided that even if they can repair my computer I would buy myself a laptop which I have done… I know I could always use my stepdaughters laptop but that’s in her bedroom which would not help me when I wake from insomnia in the very early hours of every morning and want to sit at the computer to relax, not only that I want a computer to use as and when I want and not to be reliant on other people since using the computer is my way of fighting back at this devastating illness.
The say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks well let’s wait and see if after over 8 years of my mixed dementia journey if I can learn how to use this completely new computer system!
I know it’s not going to be easy but I’ve been utterly lost each day without the computer and communication with friends overseas, it’s been as though my brain has been switched off, so much so Sumi said that I’ve been wondering from room to room in an utter daze not really know what I was doing and getting very irritable, agitated and anxious which has all had a negative effect on my condition and I honestly feel as though I slipped a bit further down the dementia ladder, in fact Sumi has been so worried she had a word with my doctor and asked if she could increase my medications to make me a bit more stable, she said ‘yes’ she could and it could help me for a few more years “BUT” she added that once the brain has reached the pinnacle of benefit from increased medication then there would be no more additional medications that could benefit me at a future stage of the illness which could mean that my condition ‘might’ deteriorate in a sharp decline, it would be a case of (too much too soon) “SO” I decided against increased medication at this stage I will just have to upsurge my fight…
Anyway I just couldn’t live without a computer any longer so yesterday I bought myself a T!!!!! i5 laptop which I’m trying to get used to using! OMG, Wow what a difference from my other computer I just hope that my brain can adapt to the totally new system as they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (time will tell) and a lot of practice, well at least it will keep my brain active!
To be very honest it absolutely devastated me as I might have lost all my data… all my dementia information and stories, dementia videos, all my poems and the books that I wrote about my illness “All Gone” and maybe never to be seen again… it’s as though something has just wiped out my whole life of every memory that I’ve been trying to retain, I’m sure that only a person that has some type of dementia could understand just how it’s made me feel as it’s like teetering on the edge of life and about to tumble into the abyss of total oblivion…
So my whole world crashed about my feet to be with my brain and I said to Sumi I just don’t know after over 8 years of this terrible illness just how much more I can take of all the different adversities being thrown at me day after day, I just feel like saying “Enough is Enough” as the fight becomes more arduous every day…
“BUT” despite all this I decided that even if they can repair my computer I would buy myself a laptop which I have done… I know I could always use my stepdaughters laptop but that’s in her bedroom which would not help me when I wake from insomnia in the very early hours of every morning and want to sit at the computer to relax, not only that I want a computer to use as and when I want and not to be reliant on other people since using the computer is my way of fighting back at this devastating illness.
The say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks well let’s wait and see if after over 8 years of my mixed dementia journey if I can learn how to use this completely new computer system!
I know it’s not going to be easy but I’ve been utterly lost each day without the computer and communication with friends overseas, it’s been as though my brain has been switched off, so much so Sumi said that I’ve been wondering from room to room in an utter daze not really know what I was doing and getting very irritable, agitated and anxious which has all had a negative effect on my condition and I honestly feel as though I slipped a bit further down the dementia ladder, in fact Sumi has been so worried she had a word with my doctor and asked if she could increase my medications to make me a bit more stable, she said ‘yes’ she could and it could help me for a few more years “BUT” she added that once the brain has reached the pinnacle of benefit from increased medication then there would be no more additional medications that could benefit me at a future stage of the illness which could mean that my condition ‘might’ deteriorate in a sharp decline, it would be a case of (too much too soon) “SO” I decided against increased medication at this stage I will just have to upsurge my fight…
