Does anyone recognise the links between the caring of a dementia sufferer & a child with learning difficulties? I am so moved by this poignant TV series, it shows how Rosie repeatedly succeeds in becoming the centre of things and getting her own way. I sometimes struggle to distinguish whether one aged dementia ridden parent is just being (as ever) manipulative ( while still able to do stuff if they want or whether they are actually unable to do things at that time. I reckon elements of personality hold true as stages of dementia take hold, I struggle to find anything I like about many of the traits left though.
‘There she goes’ TV drama
- Thread starter Flavelle
- Start date
Rosie has no empathy. She doesn't need to waste any effort on considering other people's needs. She is the centre of her own world and has learned how to manipulate everyone around her. She isn't likeable, or loveable, despite her family going through the motions because they are decent people and they are supposed to love her. The mother says at one point that she is driven to carry on by her sense of duty.
The older brother seems to be the only one who actually loves Rosie and could teach the parents (if they would only listen to him) how to communicate with her, rather than just managing her like a boisterous pet. The children are so well acted. It's a brilliant drama, though why it's categorised on the BBC iPlayer as comedy I do not understand. It is uncomfortable to watch. Disturbing, rather than entertaining.
Yes, it has parallels with our experiences of dementia. The difference is that the child will go on needing complex care for decades, which makes her family's joyless existence additionally tragic. Perhaps there is hope for Rosie if they can find a way to help her communicate her thoughts. Being non-verbal must be desperately frustrating and is a big trigger for her aggression. Didn't Helen Keller write that she herself was aggressively feral before she developed language and empathy for other people?
The older brother seems to be the only one who actually loves Rosie and could teach the parents (if they would only listen to him) how to communicate with her, rather than just managing her like a boisterous pet. The children are so well acted. It's a brilliant drama, though why it's categorised on the BBC iPlayer as comedy I do not understand. It is uncomfortable to watch. Disturbing, rather than entertaining.
Yes, it has parallels with our experiences of dementia. The difference is that the child will go on needing complex care for decades, which makes her family's joyless existence additionally tragic. Perhaps there is hope for Rosie if they can find a way to help her communicate her thoughts. Being non-verbal must be desperately frustrating and is a big trigger for her aggression. Didn't Helen Keller write that she herself was aggressively feral before she developed language and empathy for other people?
I haven’t seen this programme but I’m
Very familiar with manipulation by my SIL who is profoundly deaf and unable to speak. I see it as her way of getting the most out of her limited life and a learned response. Her seven brothers and parents indulged her and her sisters in law have been left to pick up the pieces as one by one her family have died.
For me it began in 2000 and only stopped when Johns Alzheimer’s got so bad she couldn’t manipulate any longer. He is past it and I have my hands full. Strangely she manages just fine when she has to be independent.
Very familiar with manipulation by my SIL who is profoundly deaf and unable to speak. I see it as her way of getting the most out of her limited life and a learned response. Her seven brothers and parents indulged her and her sisters in law have been left to pick up the pieces as one by one her family have died.
For me it began in 2000 and only stopped when Johns Alzheimer’s got so bad she couldn’t manipulate any longer. He is past it and I have my hands full. Strangely she manages just fine when she has to be independent.
I 'loved' the short series as it opened up the lives of what people deal with on a day to day basis, particularly the grandparents' assertions that they could handle the situation and the way in which the wife resented their meddling. So many comparisons of taking my mum out for tea and cake and her throwing the cake at another customer, babbling on about a 'nasty' teapot, telling me I was ugly...though thankfully she never took off her dress.
The ending, where the brother just takes his sister into another room and enters into some meaningful play with her showed the love, the sacrifice (of his own birthday and, in a sense, his childhood), his progression into manhood... so many aspects. Truly beautifully acted by the children and so understated by David Tennant. Frankly, just like the male relations always handled mum's dementia (sorry, personal experience, I know there are so many male carers out there).
The ending, where the brother just takes his sister into another room and enters into some meaningful play with her showed the love, the sacrifice (of his own birthday and, in a sense, his childhood), his progression into manhood... so many aspects. Truly beautifully acted by the children and so understated by David Tennant. Frankly, just like the male relations always handled mum's dementia (sorry, personal experience, I know there are so many male carers out there).
Hi Flavelle,
I have not seen the series you mentioned but I understand what you are saying.
Up until a year ago I was caring for my Mum with dementia and my grown up daughter with a physical and learning disability. Things were manageable till my Mum's dementia deteriorated and she became more demanding. The change in my Mum mean't I was having to give her more attention which made my daughter feel vulnerable and insecure and they both started to 'compete' for my attention. That nearly broke me.
Mum is now settled in a home where the primary care is provided by others and I can just visit with goodies and chat. We are all happier and yet it was a decision that I didn't want to make.
I have not seen the series you mentioned but I understand what you are saying.
Up until a year ago I was caring for my Mum with dementia and my grown up daughter with a physical and learning disability. Things were manageable till my Mum's dementia deteriorated and she became more demanding. The change in my Mum mean't I was having to give her more attention which made my daughter feel vulnerable and insecure and they both started to 'compete' for my attention. That nearly broke me.
Mum is now settled in a home where the primary care is provided by others and I can just visit with goodies and chat. We are all happier and yet it was a decision that I didn't want to make.
