Any thoughts about dealing with aggression?

[Pooch Bob]

My father-in-law has recently moved to a care home after my husband and brother-in-law had been caring for him at home. He has had problems with his diabetes and a chest infection since he has been in the home. The home have just rung to say that he has been being very aggressive today. We have asked them to check that he does not have a urinary infection. He has been a bit aggressive with my husband before but not like this - he has been shouting at carers and other residents. He is obviously very upset. Does anyone have any ideas about how to cope with this? I know how helpful the forum can be.
Earlier this year I went on the forum regularly when my Mum's alzheimer's was getting very bad and my dad was becoming very frail. Since my Dad died in April, my Mum has been in three different homes. The first was too far from where I live. The second was very poor and every daily visit felt like a battle to get even basic care. She moved into a new home yesterday which seems lovely - a world away from the previous home. I am hoping. It is so hard to find really kind care. Best wishes to all who find their way to this forum. PoochBob

 

[Eternity]

I'm sorry I don't have any answers, but has the care home been able to identify any particular triggers to the aggression? It's good you've asked for UTI check.

Hope others are able to help

 

[WILLIAMR]

My father-in-law has recently moved to a care home after my husband and brother-in-law had been caring for him at home. He has had problems with his diabetes and a chest infection since he has been in the home. The home have just rung to say that he has been being very aggressive today. We have asked them to check that he does not have a urinary infection. He has been a bit aggressive with my husband before but not like this - he has been shouting at carers and other residents. He is obviously very upset. Does anyone have any ideas about how to cope with this? I know how helpful the forum can be.
Earlier this year I went on the forum regularly when my Mum's alzheimer's was getting very bad and my dad was becoming very frail. Since my Dad died in April, my Mum has been in three different homes. The first was too far from where I live. The second was very poor and every daily visit felt like a battle to get even basic care. She moved into a new home yesterday which seems lovely - a world away from the previous home. I am hoping. It is so hard to find really kind care. Best wishes to all who find their way to this forum. PoochBob

Hi Pooch Bob

I am afraid I have no answers but just remember it is the illness talking not the patient.
When my step mother was in hospital a young nurse was supposed to be stealing her money but the son confirmed no money was missing.

Later I was supposed to have taken her money to buy a farm.
I was early retired and 62 at the time. Why would I want to buy a farm?.

I did find some logic to some of her statements. One day she told us she had been to Australia. A couple of days later we found a patient near her had some Australian visitors.

When she was in care she suddenly was getting upset because she thought we could not buy petrol to get to the home.
We found out later a petrol station near the home was being refurbished and somebody said that petrol could not be obtained from that garage.
As we did not pass this garage neither her son or myself were aware of this and she had clearly got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

William

 

[Pooch Bob]

Hi Pooch Bob

I am afraid I have no answers but just remember it is the illness talking not the patient.
When my step mother was in hospital a young nurse was supposed to be stealing her money but the son confirmed no money was missing.

Later I was supposed to have taken her money to buy a farm.
I was early retired and 62 at the time. Why would I want to buy a farm?.

I did find some logic to some of her statements. One day she told us she had been to Australia. A couple of days later we found a patient near her had some Australian visitors.

When she was in care she suddenly was getting upset because she thought we could not buy petrol to get to the home.
We found out later a petrol station near the home was being refurbished and somebody said that petrol could not be obtained from that garage.
As we did not pass this garage neither her son or myself were aware of this and she had clearly got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

William

Thank you William. It certainly seems to be money worries that are part of the problem. Think we will try to make sure that he has his wallet with some money in it. We know it will get lost but we can but try. I know my Mum feels much more secure when she has her handbag with her (or someone elses!) PoochBob

 

[WIFE]

Monopoly money worked a treat with my husband when he complained that all his had been stolen by the NH staff. When it became "lost" like most things in his room - for lost substitute "re-located" - I just told him we would buy some more!