It's true what they say.....
- Thread starter gillybean
- Start date
Oh, gilly, I'm so sorry
xxI do still get flashes of my mum ....knitting together has been great in that respect as in others.....but as Tin says, she's disappearing faster than I can absorb the changes
All the best
Lindy xx
Last edited:
Vile disease.
Mum is still very much "mum" in character, but when I watch her I see her drift away into her own little world. She is changing quite rapidly tho, and only the other day asked me what my brother was called....."the boy, whats his name?" She can't make the same links to her life or our life or interests.
Broke my heart because he is the apple of her eye, and made me realise that that day is getting nearer when she won't remember us. I felt when Mum went into hospital and then CH that I was going through a bereavement, I dread the future but make the most of every moment I have with her, I drink in her smile, her face, her chattiness, I won't cope without her hugs.
Hugs to one and all xx
Mum is still very much "mum" in character, but when I watch her I see her drift away into her own little world. She is changing quite rapidly tho, and only the other day asked me what my brother was called....."the boy, whats his name?" She can't make the same links to her life or our life or interests.
Broke my heart because he is the apple of her eye, and made me realise that that day is getting nearer when she won't remember us. I felt when Mum went into hospital and then CH that I was going through a bereavement, I dread the future but make the most of every moment I have with her, I drink in her smile, her face, her chattiness, I won't cope without her hugs.
Hugs to one and all xx
I 'lost' my mother ages ago. It has been very gradual - she must have had AD for over 12 years now. I think it must be a lot harder for relatives when the decline is very rapid. Though having said that, it happened very suddenly that my mother didn't know me - one week she did, and her eyes would light up when she saw me coming - the next they were just blank. And that was a shock, and certainly did hurt.
Over the years I have often wondered, though, whether a swifter decline would be more merciful, both for her and for us who have had to witness this dreadful, slow decline into a most pitiful and undignified existence. Because that's all it is now - existence. Of course I will be sad when the time comes, but I will not grieve very much - I will be glad she is finally released from it all.
Over the years I have often wondered, though, whether a swifter decline would be more merciful, both for her and for us who have had to witness this dreadful, slow decline into a most pitiful and undignified existence. Because that's all it is now - existence. Of course I will be sad when the time comes, but I will not grieve very much - I will be glad she is finally released from it all.
i too certainly know your feelings,breaks my heart seeing a lovely lady whos given her total life to me her son (me),her time,her knowing shes provided financially,,her devoted love always,now just content and happy when im sat with her,,,but im not her son no more main of the time,,im her brother,,her husband,,,she sometimes calls me nana,,many times asking where her son is,,to which i say alsorts,,as to her hes still a little boy,,,she always finishs with look after him always wont ya,,,,
my eyes are full of tears as i write,,,,,
we all need to be strong,,,just keep putting on the mask,and saying the show must go on,,never drop our gaurd,,,just make it as normal as possible 4 those dear ald pals of ours whos give so much,,
as to mourning after,,,yes im sure ill be sad,,but at least ill comfort myself in knowing i did my best,,,and shes battled az and won,,,and at peace,,
love to you all..xxxx
my eyes are full of tears as i write,,,,,
we all need to be strong,,,just keep putting on the mask,and saying the show must go on,,never drop our gaurd,,,just make it as normal as possible 4 those dear ald pals of ours whos give so much,,
as to mourning after,,,yes im sure ill be sad,,but at least ill comfort myself in knowing i did my best,,,and shes battled az and won,,,and at peace,,
love to you all..xxxx
Dementia - the long goodbye?
Hello Caring A - that is so well explained I shed a tear too. Isn't it complex?
I have almost the opposite position as you do. My mother was always, all her life, cut off, vague and distant eg nose bleed as a child response "never mind". Since have Vasc Dem she has showed a little emotion to the point of giving me a hug and saying I love you for the first time in my life aged 60 yrs old!!!
But I have empathy and compassion for her and want her to be safe and comfortable. She usually knows who I am too.
It must be so hard for you when she remembers you as a little boy and not you now. She is lucky to have you and you know you have done your best for her
Hello Caring A - that is so well explained I shed a tear too. Isn't it complex?
I have almost the opposite position as you do. My mother was always, all her life, cut off, vague and distant eg nose bleed as a child response "never mind". Since have Vasc Dem she has showed a little emotion to the point of giving me a hug and saying I love you for the first time in my life aged 60 yrs old!!!
But I have empathy and compassion for her and want her to be safe and comfortable. She usually knows who I am too.
It must be so hard for you when she remembers you as a little boy and not you now. She is lucky to have you and you know you have done your best for her
It is so hard isnt it? My real Mum is no longer with me, my alzheimers Mum bares little resemblance to the Mum I used to know. I know she is still in there somewhere, an occasional small spark in her eye or a glance and a smile, so rare these days but treasured. I read a book a while ago which the author said she loved the Mum that she used to have and also loved the Mum she has now. I always remember that as it made a lot of sense.
Dementia takes away so much.....
x
Dementia takes away so much.....
x
Last edited:
My thoughts are with all of you. This week I celebrated 44 years of being married to a wonderful caring loving man. Over those years we have faced many trials as well as much joy - as normal marriages do. Each day Alzheimer's steals more of him away from me and there is nothing I can do to fight it. As you say, it's a horrible cruel disease.
Trisha4, I'm sorry you are facing this so soon. I wanted to say to gillybean that I feel like I lose my mother (who will soon be 96) every time I walk into her room and realize that today she doesn't quite know who I am. Last evening, I had to show her how to hold her spoon for her meal (we long ago gave up forks for her). She has been struggling of late, but today she had a pretty good day. I know she wouldn't want to have lived like this, had she a choice, but she seems as happy as she can be, under the circumstances. The Alz prevents her from knowing what she seems like to us, which is fortunate. I guess that's what really matters, in our case.
