Help! - Nan is not settling in her care home

[LeviB]

Hi All,

I'm new to this website but assuming this is the correct thing to do.

My Nan has severe dementia which has only been diagnosed in the past few months. We was aware that her memory was going downhill for a while now but she is a very independent person as was successful in hiding this fact from health care services for a long time.

Things gradually got worse at the beginning of the year when she began to be aggressive/ mild violence towards another family member and her memory was rapidly deteriorating, this lead to her being sectioned into a mental health hospital for assessment. She was there for just over two months and after the first initial few days she settled very well, was much calmer and happier in herself although her sense of reality was still very warped.

She has recently been moved to a new care home which myself and two other family members had visited among several others and felt was a very nice home for her. Since being at this home her behaviour has rapidly declined, she has become extremely agitated and aggressive, refusing to bathe, take tablets and is in general very unreasonable and angry. The care home has now put her on Lorazepam 2-3 times a day to try and control this behaviour but it is having no effect and they are hinting at the fact that they may not be able to cope with her as the other residents are very settled and not as severe behavioural issues.

My question is has anyone had this issue of where a family member has not settled or in fact declined at a care home and had to move them to another care home? Would she need to be readmitted to the mental health hospital to be reassessed or can we step in before that and move her to another care facility?

I hope this all makes sense, we are all very close to my nan and at this point she is barely recognising key family members and has started to hallucinate about my Grandad who passed nearly 20 years ago... its is all very unsettling and we want what's best for her.

 

[jeany123]

Hello LeviB and welcome to Talking Point, I am sorry to hear about your Nan I am sure there will be someone along shortly to give you some advice,

Best wishes Jeany x

 

[Ppod]

Welcome and you are not alone

Hi
Firstly welcome to the site, I have received both advice and support and hope you experience the same.

You must be very concerned about your Nan. I have experienced a very similar situation with my Dad recently and it is very difficult. Dad had to be moved from a care home as an "emergency" and although it was shocking, in some ways it has turned out to be a good thing as Dad is now somewhere that is able to cope - far better than before. I was not too thrilled about the new place but my husband reminded to judge it not by my what I like but what Dad needs. Dad is now getting what he needs and the illness is still winning, but somehow I feel more confident in the abilities of the staff and consequently less pressure on me.

Hopefully, your Nan will also get what she needs so that you and your family can enjoy some time with her.

 

[sheila55]

Hi LeviB,

We were in a similar situation with my Mum who had a fall in December, was in hospital for three weeks and then we moved her to a nursing home on 31st December. She hated it, was crying and/or agitated and aggressive when we visited. Refused to get into the bed, slept in a chair, refused to shower and shouted all night for help and saying she was going to get the police etc.

The home worked really hard to help her settle but to no avail. Luckily for us the home also has an EMI nursing unit which they moved her to. We were very concerned that the move would upset her more but actually she was not really aware that she had moved as the surroundings were similar.

She has now settled a bit, although it has been a long hard road. She now goes to bed at night and agrees to a shower. However they have never managed to stop the shouting but the EMI unit seems to manage it and Mum benefits from the extra staff etc.

Don't know if this helps but sometimes it can take a long time for someone to settle. Hopefully things will improve but if you do need to move your Nan it may benefit her in the long run. x

 

[Ashton]

In a simialr situation

Hi My dad went into a private care home in January 2014 which was suppposedly one which catered for those sufffering from dementia. We choose it carefully with the aim of not having to move him to another home when his dementia worsened. It has proven to be a disaster. Very early on the home indicated they could not cope with him, he was wondering in and out of other residents rooms, was having problems locating and using the toliet and generally was aggitated and didn't settle. His dementia worsened rapidly and two weeks ago the home said they could not cope with him any more as he had been aggressive on more than one occassion towards both staff and other residents. The home asked for 1:1 care 24 hours a day at a cost of £3K+. We asked for some help with funding which was refused by the mental health team. Two weeks ago following a weekend of disasterous trial medication aiming to control his aggitation, whe fell several times, he was sectioned under section 2 of the Mental Health Act. He is now in a NHS mental health hospital unit for assessment for 28 days (which can be extended). We do not know if the peroid will be extended or what his options will be at the end of the assessment. My worry is that he will go to another care home which again will not be able to meet his needs. Equally scary is the thought that he could be placed under a section 3 in which case he would not be able to go to another care home. Each move is very disturbing for him and he seems to be in a very rapid decline. We aren't getting any answers to our questions and have no idea where he would go if placed under a section 3. My only advice to you is to seek the support of your NHS dementia team and ask for a dedicated mental health nurse and ask for a social worker. Good luck - I know what you are going through