Hi it's a long time since I posted and Mum is in a lovely nursing home after we moved her up here so we could visit more often. Most of the time she glares at me and I know she blames me for putting her in a home but she was a danger to herself and others e.g. getting stuck in the mud by a river, wandering along the hard shoulder of a motorway and wandering around her town in the early hours of the morning. Anyhow it is a lovely home, comfortable, good food and entertainment, trips etc. provided. The last couple of times we have visited she has been lying in bed and I could not get her to sit outside with the other residents in the garden. On 2 occasions they have said they are desperate for bigger clothes for her but I wish they had phoned me before the problem got too bad. She is now a size 20-22 having been a 14-16 before she went in. The staff say she just wanders in to eat her meals then goes back to bed. I know she is a very stubborn person and the staff are really nice but how long can she go on gaining weight and lying in bed?
Mum stays in bed all the time
- Thread starter janma221
- Start date
So sorry to hear about your Mum, it is really difficult to persuade them to move out of their bedrooms at times. My Mum has been in her care home 10 months now and it is difficult getting her to join in anything, on the occasions that we do manage to get her into the lounge or garden, she only wants to stay for about 5 to 10 minutes and then insists on going back to her room where she just lays on the bed. My Mum though doesn't appear to be putting on weight though, perhaps the nursing home should look at altering your Mum's diet. Sorry not much use really am I! just feel for you xx
Ange
Ange
I wish to stay in bed sometimes myself.
I cannot afford, but this would help in times of change or distress.
I am sorry I cannot do much more...
This is the second day also my mother stays in bed, weather is quite bad
and she is very weak, she needs to be in horizontal position, she says.
Maybe I'd better imitate her for half an hour...
Until this weakness that took her over two years ago,
my mother would enjoy in interaction with other people,
old friends or new acquaintances or complete strangers...
But with all the troubles she got, she became shy,
and private.
It is not easy to change the environment completely,
and it may take time and effort to adapt.
I cannot afford, but this would help in times of change or distress.
I am sorry I cannot do much more...
This is the second day also my mother stays in bed, weather is quite bad
and she is very weak, she needs to be in horizontal position, she says.
Maybe I'd better imitate her for half an hour...
Until this weakness that took her over two years ago,
my mother would enjoy in interaction with other people,
old friends or new acquaintances or complete strangers...
But with all the troubles she got, she became shy,
and private.
It is not easy to change the environment completely,
and it may take time and effort to adapt.
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Sorry to hear you have this problem janmar 
As another poster said, I wonder whether the CH.could amend her diet? Obviously you don't want this to go on too long....
Also is she on any medication that may encourage weight gain? Maybe a medication review might help?
Another thought....has the move made her a bit depressed? Might antidepressants help?
Other than that, I think you can only try to encourage her to be a bit more active. And if she doesn't want to do anything despite your efforts, I guess it's going to have to go down in the column of 'personal choice'
Best wishes and good luck
Lindy xx
As another poster said, I wonder whether the CH.could amend her diet? Obviously you don't want this to go on too long....
Also is she on any medication that may encourage weight gain? Maybe a medication review might help?
Another thought....has the move made her a bit depressed? Might antidepressants help?
Other than that, I think you can only try to encourage her to be a bit more active. And if she doesn't want to do anything despite your efforts, I guess it's going to have to go down in the column of 'personal choice'
Best wishes and good luck
Lindy xx
Thanks for your replies everyone. She eats everything despite the best efforts of the staff who do try to help with her diet and then tells them she is still hungry. She doesn't seem unduly depressed just seems comfortable to go back to bed after meals. She is probably the most stubborn woman on the planet even before her Alzheimer's took hold so I guess Meme it is her choice. Funny how most of them seem to lose weight and she is piling it on. Never easy to know what to do or even what not to do.
Jan
Jan
