Hello Everyone.

[Maywalk]

I found this forum while looking to see if anything was available for my hubby to attend because he has been diagnosed as having short term memory.
He has tried the tablets but unfortunately they gave him severe headaches so he was taken off them straight away.
Like others here it is hard work to cope with at times but I consider myself extremely lucky because this year will be our 65th wedding anniversary if we both get to September.
There are times when I feel like screaming and just wanting to have a bit of time on my own and I get very depressed at times but this is a natural re-action and I find it better to walk away from hubby when he gets a nasty mood on him and I finish up on my computer probably answering students because I have a big W.W.2 website that has had folk to it from around the world.
My son and I taught hubby how to use a computer although he is not brilliant at it BUT he can play Solitaire on it and send an e-mail to my son and granddaughter and I encourage him to do this because I want to keep his brain going as long as he can without giving in to this rotten illness.
Yesterday hubby and I went to the very first Dementia and Carers club BUT I wont be going any more because I thought there would be some sort of activity for those who have Dementia to join in.
I was amazed that they had a speaker instead who came to talk about Osteoporosis. I felt SO sorry for the Dementia sufferers because the look of confusion and being SO subdued on their faces spelt out that they had NO idea what was going off. To be honest I think I was the only one who did because I have had this complaint for 30 years and personally I did not think it a wonderful subject for those who needed stimulation.
I would have thought perhaps showing slides or photos of the area they lived would touch a chord in their memories or even some music.
I say this because when I went with hubby last week to see the consultant and I mentioned to him that I had found many U-tubes of my hubby's favourite big band sounds and he sat there absorbed in watching Glen Miller and other well known bands of his era AND could tell me exactly what part of the music had been cut out of a video. The consultant thought it was a briliant idea and said it certainly would help him.
I only wish we had somewhere near where I live to do something like this for others afflicted by this terrible illness.
I hope I have not bored anyone who reads this because I was only trying to show that although your loved one is NOT the same as he/she was years ago there is hope if one finds a way to get through the memory barrier. NOT in all cases I hasten to add but such as my hubby's case there could be glimmer of hope.
As I said I try to relax off with my website and answering folk from around the world who are fascinated with the fact that they are in touch with a W.W.2 evacuee who was bombed out twice and machine gunned twice. It helps me to know that I am still of some use to those who wants information of those years.
God Bless All.

 

[lu]

Hello, Maywalk, and welcome to talking points. Don't ever apologize for lengthy notes as sometimes the explanation takes awhile. One thing I am sure of is that you must be a wonderfully remarkable woman to be going through the tough days and still has such a desire to help others. Although I am new also to t.p. I am not new to Alzheimer's. My spouse was diagnosed about five years ago and we have gone through a lot of phases...some have passed and others have remained. 65 years of marriage in September...wonderful. You are probably about my age 86 and his at 90. He certainly can relate to wwII as he had a bullet through his helmet....came out with 3 bronze stars. Please write us again and let us know how things are going. This is a terrible disease and difficult to watch the progression.....you listen and you watch and this person becomes someone you no longer know. You show strength just from your comments and even though you need us, remember we need you also, so keep in touch. Reading comments from others has helped me a lot even if I do not reply. God bless.

 

[helly71]

Hi, I care for my nan who has AD, she is 82 and was evacuated from London during ww2. She has a poor short term memory but her long term is great.
We spend alot of time talking about the war years and her experiences.
Welcome to TP and keep posting x

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Maywalk

I agree with lu, you do sound a remarkable woman.

65 years of marriage is an achievement, many these days don`t even reach 5. And you still have the strength to fight your husband`s corner is wonderful.

I used to escape to the computer when my husband had mood swings but I escaped to TP where I found support and friendship.

I`m sorry the Dementia and Carers Club support group was so disappointing. I think it is difficult to find speakers and some of the people who run these groups don`t have the best imagination . I shouldn`t really criticise if I`m not prepared to offer my services to help but I do know how you felt.

Would your husband attend respite day care? It does sound as if you need some time to yourself.

 

[marionq]

May walk you sound like just the person to do a talk for your local group on WWII. Slides, photos and music would go down a bomb as we used to say. I bought a collection of CDs called "songs that helped to win the war" which I play occasionally for my husband. Glen Miller of course, Vera Lynn, all the usual suspects are there and if you pick out a few and print out the words for the group I bet they would sing along.

 

[malomm]

Thank you maywalk

Thank you Maywalk. That was a wonderful post. I was in a very depressed state this morning, and your post woke me up to the fact that in fact we are vey lucky to still be enjoying life in spite of everything. We have been married 53 years, and my OH, 83, grew up in war ravaged S.Italy. She has such vivid memories of those awful times, even though she can't remember where she put the coffee pot 5 minutes ago. Your ideas for keeping your husband as active as possible sound great. I find local walks, and as much time as possible in the garden, help to do the trick.I have been reading the thread 'compassionate communication' and wondered whether it was actually how to be the perfect carer, or how to apply for sainthood. I must admit that yesterday I almost lost it; but then in the end managed a trip out to a hypermarket to find a leg of lamb for a family Easter. So Happy Easter to you both Maywalk, and every body else on TP.
keep smiling,
malomm

 

[Maywalk]

Many thanks all you lovely folk.
I am nothing special but since my website went up its been a fantastic response from worldwide. Plus TV and Radio contacting me. I have also written one or two books that deals with the W.W.2 era and all proceeds have gone to my local childrens hospice. I used to go round the local schools to talk to the children of that time but since I started with Epilepsy at the age of 80 my family asked me not do it anymore because the seizures creep up on me anywhere and anytime. We have quite a few alarms in the home to call paramedics if anything goes wrong and they have proved invaluable because they have saved my life at least four times when going in a seizure.

Well its been a day of cleaning and washing today and with having to do everything myself I am beginning to feel a bit droopy. I usually have a cleaner but she is on holiday so I decided to do it myself. No good asking hubby to do anything because he keeps coming back to ask me what it is he is supposed to do. Hubby cannot walk too well because he has a badly deformed foot and has had to have special boots made by the NHS for him to walk in BUT they are SO heavy he can only wear them for a short time. I would love a nice walk out although I too have to use a walking stick so I am limited too. I will be 84 in May and hubby will be 86 a few days after me.
Both Maybirds.

I like a little bit of time on the computer to catch up with various forums I have been invited to join and it helps to keep me going.
God Bless All.

 

[bilslin]

Hi maywalk and welcome to TP its great to get on here and be able to get it all off your chest. theres always someone to come along and support you. Hope you have a rest after doing all the house work. lindaxx

 

[Maywalk]

Many thanks Bilslin.
I will pop in every so often to read the posts. With looking at this website it seems as though there are very many families who have a loved one suffering from Dementia.
Such a shame AND SUCH hard work for the carers.