I just want to set this down because it's the one that comes back to me the most.
When Mum got her pressure sore, the matron of the home rang and said that Mum's back was black, and that it may be her cancer spreading. Mum had that large pressure sore on her sacrum for the next 18 months until she died. It never healed.
When Mum had the tissue nurse out, I remember that her air flow mattress was new. The nurse said what a good one it was, and K, the nurse, said, "Well the old one broke." At the same time, a foam mattress appeared, stored vertically at the side of Mum's wardrobe, and it stayed there til she died.
It was only a few weeks later that it dawned on me (I am slow on the uptake
) that Mum developed the pressure sore at the same time as the nurse said her mattress broke.
The care home refused to buy air flow mattresses for residents, or electric profiling beds, as they said they weren't necessary.
I bought Mum's profiling bed for her, because the home wouldn't. I asked if I should buy a new air flow mattress, and the woman at the bed company said no, they were expensive, and if Mum was on one (which she was) - that was fine.
But it wasn't fine. The mattress was an old one, and it broke. And that was probably the cause of the pressure sore Mum had for the next 18 months.
So I am pretty cross with Matron, cos I think she probably knew all that, and was "covering up" by saying Mum had a spread of her cancer (which she didn't). But I am crosser with me.
Maybe it's paranoia on my part. Maybe it's guilt that I didn't do enough. Maybe I am wrong. I don't know this for sure. But I feel very bad about it. What makes things worse is that if Mum were here, I know she'd say, "Don't worry. You did your best."
When Mum got her pressure sore, the matron of the home rang and said that Mum's back was black, and that it may be her cancer spreading. Mum had that large pressure sore on her sacrum for the next 18 months until she died. It never healed.
When Mum had the tissue nurse out, I remember that her air flow mattress was new. The nurse said what a good one it was, and K, the nurse, said, "Well the old one broke." At the same time, a foam mattress appeared, stored vertically at the side of Mum's wardrobe, and it stayed there til she died.
It was only a few weeks later that it dawned on me (I am slow on the uptake
) that Mum developed the pressure sore at the same time as the nurse said her mattress broke. The care home refused to buy air flow mattresses for residents, or electric profiling beds, as they said they weren't necessary.
I bought Mum's profiling bed for her, because the home wouldn't. I asked if I should buy a new air flow mattress, and the woman at the bed company said no, they were expensive, and if Mum was on one (which she was) - that was fine.
But it wasn't fine. The mattress was an old one, and it broke. And that was probably the cause of the pressure sore Mum had for the next 18 months.
So I am pretty cross with Matron, cos I think she probably knew all that, and was "covering up" by saying Mum had a spread of her cancer (which she didn't). But I am crosser with me.
Maybe it's paranoia on my part. Maybe it's guilt that I didn't do enough. Maybe I am wrong. I don't know this for sure. But I feel very bad about it. What makes things worse is that if Mum were here, I know she'd say, "Don't worry. You did your best."
