A promise kept, a journey ended.

[lovdn2]

Helen

You don't sound pathetic, just emotionally and physically exhausted.....you have been under immense strain lately and need to rest and recover a little before saying your last goodbye to your beloved mum.

It's lovely that you and your dad are spending time together too.

My love and thoughts are with you, your dad and brother

xx

 

[carolr]

Helen

You sound like a wonderfull person Helen, my very best wishes for you and all your family on Tues I will be thinking of you.

xx

 

[Skye]

I am doing my best to support dad - but today feel empty myself. Just want Tuesday to come and go, my brother to be back to take over for a while, and me to be able to hide - sorry sounds pathetic.
helen

Helen, you are not pathetic. You have been brilliant, supporting your mum and dad. I'm not surprised you feel empty, caring has taken over your life for such a long time, and now you have to get used to the gap in your world.

I'm glad you're going away with your dad, it will be a chance for you both to come to terms with things. And it's good that your brother is coming home, it will give you a chance to concentrate on yourself and your family for a while.

I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday, I'm sure you'll do your mum proud. Take care of yourself.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Helen, you sound exhausted.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.

I think your dad is the best person you could be with right now, you share the same emotions. I hope the funeral brings you peace.

Love xx

 

[Margarita]

My thoughts shall be with you on Tuesdays

Take Care & hope you find some time for yourself to Hide xxx

 

[daughter]

Dear Helen,

Whatever you feel/do - it's all ok, no right or wrong about these things. If you decide to hide, just know that we're thinking of you on Tuesday and after.

love from Hazel.

 

[alex]

Helen

Your doing fantasic............you'll cope.........you'll get through the funeral and you'll make your mum and dad very proud.

I know your dreading the funeral, but its not as bad as you think..........i promise.

Your through the worse bit............ you sat with your mum for weeks until the very end, you've made all the arrangements for the funeral with your Dad, you've helped and supported your Dad through the worse week of his life, all without any help from other family members ............... you'll get your Dad through the funeral and thats what your Mum would have wanted from you........(to get the family through the funeral............. its what strong people do!).....and once its all over, then its your time honey.........time for you to grieve..........and you won't hide, you'll hold your head up and say "i done everything that i could and i done it for my Mum"....................and when your through the funeral, you'll have your friends here to pick you up and get YOU through the days ahead.

Just know that your being thought of and that we'll be thinking of you on tuesday and you know we are here when you need us.

Chin up honey.............you'll do it

Much love
Alex x

 

[Tina]

You'll get there, Helen. A step at a time and a day at a time. Do what feels best for you, there's no other way.

Will be thinking of you as you bid your mum farewell on Tuesday.

Love, Tina

 

[angela.robinson]

Dear Helen,
sending you and your family ,love, hugs and strenght,to get you through the next ordeal.
it has been a hard long road,and you saw it through with love and support to the end .I know you will miss your mum desperatly,but you will always feel her love around you .
Time to take care of yourself now for a while.
my thoughts will be will be with you on tuesday.
your friends will be here for you when you are ready.
ANGELA.XX

 

[Lonestray]

I'm sorry to learn of your very sad news. Seems to me your Mom and Dad gave you a very good foundation at the start of life which will see you through this. May you have many happy reminders of her presence, when you look in the mirror, see her in children and grandchildren. I'll say a special prayer for you and your Dad. Padraig

 

[Nell]

Special thoughts with you on Tuesday for grace, calm and courage. You are going to be fine Helen - by which I mean you will cope with it all, despite the sadness. Your Dad is truly blessed in his daughter - as was your Mum.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Helen, just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you and your family tomorrow and wishing you a calm day and as much support as you need. Love Deborah

 

[sue38]

Helen,

I just wanted to add my voice to all those who have expressed their sympathy on the loss of your Mum. I also want to express my admiration for the dignity you have shown in what must have been dreadful time. Your love for your Mum has shone through your posts.

I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can and that it gives you and your Dad some comfort.

Love,

 

[CraigC]

Thinking of you tomorrow Helen
Wishing you a little sunshine and peace.

love
Craig

 

[mel]

Dear Helen
I do hope today turned out well for you all.
You have been a truly devoted daughter throughout but I do hope you find a little time for yourself now
Love as always
Wendy xx

 

[Amy]

...............................

 

[connie]

Helen, thankyou for posting;

Such sad words: do people really have no idea?

Since she died several people have said to me "Well I suppose for you your mum died several years ago" - as if the fact that she had dementia means the loss is less intense- how wrong they are.

Can quite understand your feelings,

I feel a big hole, that only my mum fitted.

Give yourself time. Thinking of you, love

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome back Helen.

Love xx

 

[Margarita]

I feel a big hole, that only my mum fitted.

what a beautiful why to express your feeling , thank you for sharing

And now - I have to make that transition into the 'After Dementia' section.

if you don't mind me saying you don't have to do a transition , we need you all over TP , But of course I understand xxxx

 

[Tina]

There is a sense in which I feel guilty at not just feeling relief and thankfulness that mum has been released from her confusion - but I dont feel relief, I dont feel thankful - I feel a big hole, that only my mum fitted.

Since she died several people have said to me "Well I suppose for you your mum died several years ago" - as if the fact that she had dementia means the loss is less intense- how wrong they are.

Love Helen

Yes, Helen, same here. There is the relief that mum is at peace, I'm sure. But there's also that great gaping hole which won't go away.
I know that feeling of driving past the NH or hospital and wanting to call.

Give yourself time. It's 6 years since my nan died. that gaping hole is still there but it's being filled with the happy memories now. But I still miss her too. 9 months after Aunty Jean and 8 moths after Uncle Harry and 6 months after Gramps have died...it's still painful. Lovely memories, yes, and the knowledge that they're not suffering any more, yes, but missing them so much.

Thinking of you
Love Tina