Unfortunately I think you may have to think out of the box but its very hard to change habits of a life time
my father used to sit for hours on the narrow wooded edge of the arm of a chair. he wouldn't sit in the seat. sometimes, being over 90, he'd get tired and like a parrot, fall off his perch. then a variation, he would not even enter the room, but remain in the hall, leaning on the wall, after coming back from day-centre. no amount of pleading, begging, suggestions etc from me would make any difference. fed up, i'd go and watch tv. one night there was a noise and he'd slumped forward/sideways. wouldn't or couldn't get up. difficult to tell. ambulance. hospital, all day, discharged, even tho siblings and I said he was not as usual. but the good thing, side effect, when he came in, he asked what do we do now. unheard of. go upstairs I said, where now, into bed, accepted help, expected direction and took it.
a bit sad, in some ways, guess he must have been really shook up. but better for us of course, and indeed safer for him.
he'd spent over 14 hrs in the hospital. they insisted he was fit to go. that was Friday. he had to be lifted into bed by ambulance men at home. normally very fit physically and agile.
on monday morning, he'd gone to daycentre much protesting, dragging all his heavy clothes with him, when he could barely walk, and getting down the stairs, I was terrified he would come a cropper, very aggressive, ranting etc,
, I just about to leave to rush to work, a call from the emergency consultant at hosp. he'd reviewed x-rays, there was a crack in the trocantur of the hip, the bit that sticks out at the side. I said, we told them he wasn't right. well he said you could have brought him back... after them having made out we were time wasters....trying to palm off caring for him...we'd asked them specifically to look at the x-rays again....they wouldn't... to this the consultant on the phone said we don't automatically review all the x-rays...
does anyone else have this experience with medics/ social workers/ officials... they say something on the matter you've raised, but just to the side of it, not addressing the specific, it's like a war of attrition, it wears you down, and so much on-going to cope with.. you give up..
anyway, luckily, it did not need surgery, but all agreed it must have been very painful for father, and he couldn't tell us that, didn't understand that was what was affecting him.
anyway, sometimes something happens that breaks the bad pattern, and a chance to establish a better one emerges.
he now goes straight upstairs on coming in, sits on bed, has food there, tv at end of bed, so I can get him into bed when needed. it just about works.
recently we discovered a discarded Tesco trolley, small one, and he loves going for walks with it, driving it.
good luck everyone.
