Why is it such a challenge every morning to get dressed ? It is not really a question, more of a statement.
Having had breakfast, it goes something like this .........
me: "Would you like to wash and dress." with the award winning huge smile and grin, 'cos this is a pleasurable activity.
Susan: "Yes please"
me: "Ok shall we go upstairs. This way". Me with a sneeze
S: "You got a cold" ?
me: "No it's hayfever. Would you like to use the bidet, 'cos you went to the toilet this morning downstairs".
S: "What"
me: "Would you like to wash and then we can put your clothes on."
S: "No I don't want to wash." angry tone. Oh oh thinks me.
me: "Ok then you're quite clean would you like to dress"
S: "Yes please" with a tone that could cut concrete.
me: a sneeze
S: "Do you have a cold"
me: "No it's hayfever, I've had it 25 years. Shall we take your pyjama bottoms of."
S: "No"
m: "We have to if you want to put your nics and jeans on (still smiling). You do want to dress don't you"
S: "Yes. Why do we have to do this every time ?" ( how can they remember a fact like that but cannot remember where the cups are kept in a house they've lived in nearly 20 years)
me: "Ok lets slip your bottoms of," - ready to dodge a flying knee or foot because I can see the anger.
S: "I don't want to take them of. This gets on my f..... nerves."
me: "Don't swear, but we have to take the bottoms of to put the jeans on. They will not go over the top."
S: "Here you are alright take them." Again with that concrete tone
me: I sneeze
S: "You should a doctor with that cold."
me: "Yes I'll go next week. Can you help me a little here and lift your leg out"
S: "What ?"
me: "Please lift your foot so I can slide your bottoms of."
S: "Why."
me: "So we can put your jeans on." (same again for the other leg/foot) "Ok" (holding nics that have been warmed on the heater despite being
20 degrees outside and a little warmer inside) "can you put your foot thro here please." Done with reluctance. "Now the other foot." Success / joy 1 pair of nics on.
"Ok now the jeans. Please put your leg in here. Push a little. Please push a little. Ok I'll pull harder. Ok other leg. No not in that leg, this other one, that does not have a leg in it already."
Ok jeans hoisted and buttoned. Now for the technical stuff - bras - I used to be (in my younger days) a dab hand with the ol 1 hand quick flick and they're of, but to put them on that's another thing. "Put your arms thro here please." As I go to put hands/arms thro straps the hands/arms go lower, but you guessed it, I know, and lower the straps even quicker, and success (partial 'cos we still have a bit further to go) put your boobs in please while I hook up." Hooks not joining "Can you put your boobs in please."
S: "They're in."
me: "It doesn't feel like it."
S: "I know if my boobs are in or not." with that concrete tone.
me: "Ok." A big breathe and heave and hooks join up and then round the front to put boobs in cups.
me: t-shirt achieved without too much hassle. Socks. Now that's another issue. Back to hands and knees. "Lift your foot please."
S: "Why ."
me: "So I can take your bed socks of."
S: "These are ok."
me: "They are a bit thick if we put slippers or shoes on later."
S: A reluctant "Here you then take them." with that oh so sweet concrete tone.
m: scrunching up sock as for a 2 year old. "Can you push or hold your foot still while I push the sock on."
S: "I am." (she's not)
me: I achieve it in the end and the other foot is no different "Are they comfortable."
S: "Yes thank you." (yep that familiar tone)
Ok I got there in the end, and I know that one day I will be wishing for these days again just as many of you do.
but this is pretty much the same thing everyday. Days when the concrete tone is even harder and more angry I walk away for half hour then try again.
Very often this works. The task is no easier but the anger from Susan has gone. Never give up on the smile 'cos that helps.
We'll go strawberry picking later. Make some jam - yummy.
cris
Having had breakfast, it goes something like this .........
me: "Would you like to wash and dress." with the award winning huge smile and grin, 'cos this is a pleasurable activity.
Susan: "Yes please"
me: "Ok shall we go upstairs. This way". Me with a sneeze
S: "You got a cold" ?
me: "No it's hayfever. Would you like to use the bidet, 'cos you went to the toilet this morning downstairs".
S: "What"
me: "Would you like to wash and then we can put your clothes on."
S: "No I don't want to wash." angry tone. Oh oh thinks me.
me: "Ok then you're quite clean would you like to dress"
S: "Yes please" with a tone that could cut concrete.
me: a sneeze
S: "Do you have a cold"
me: "No it's hayfever, I've had it 25 years. Shall we take your pyjama bottoms of."
S: "No"
m: "We have to if you want to put your nics and jeans on (still smiling). You do want to dress don't you"
S: "Yes. Why do we have to do this every time ?" ( how can they remember a fact like that but cannot remember where the cups are kept in a house they've lived in nearly 20 years)
me: "Ok lets slip your bottoms of," - ready to dodge a flying knee or foot because I can see the anger.
S: "I don't want to take them of. This gets on my f..... nerves."
me: "Don't swear, but we have to take the bottoms of to put the jeans on. They will not go over the top."
S: "Here you are alright take them." Again with that concrete tone
me: I sneeze
S: "You should a doctor with that cold."
me: "Yes I'll go next week. Can you help me a little here and lift your leg out"
S: "What ?"
me: "Please lift your foot so I can slide your bottoms of."
S: "Why."
me: "So we can put your jeans on." (same again for the other leg/foot) "Ok" (holding nics that have been warmed on the heater despite being
20 degrees outside and a little warmer inside) "can you put your foot thro here please." Done with reluctance. "Now the other foot." Success / joy 1 pair of nics on.
"Ok now the jeans. Please put your leg in here. Push a little. Please push a little. Ok I'll pull harder. Ok other leg. No not in that leg, this other one, that does not have a leg in it already."
Ok jeans hoisted and buttoned. Now for the technical stuff - bras - I used to be (in my younger days) a dab hand with the ol 1 hand quick flick and they're of, but to put them on that's another thing. "Put your arms thro here please." As I go to put hands/arms thro straps the hands/arms go lower, but you guessed it, I know, and lower the straps even quicker, and success (partial 'cos we still have a bit further to go) put your boobs in please while I hook up." Hooks not joining "Can you put your boobs in please."
S: "They're in."
me: "It doesn't feel like it."
S: "I know if my boobs are in or not." with that concrete tone.
me: "Ok." A big breathe and heave and hooks join up and then round the front to put boobs in cups.
me: t-shirt achieved without too much hassle. Socks. Now that's another issue. Back to hands and knees. "Lift your foot please."
S: "Why ."
me: "So I can take your bed socks of."
S: "These are ok."
me: "They are a bit thick if we put slippers or shoes on later."
S: A reluctant "Here you then take them." with that oh so sweet concrete tone.
m: scrunching up sock as for a 2 year old. "Can you push or hold your foot still while I push the sock on."
S: "I am." (she's not)
me: I achieve it in the end and the other foot is no different "Are they comfortable."
S: "Yes thank you." (yep that familiar tone)
Ok I got there in the end, and I know that one day I will be wishing for these days again just as many of you do.
but this is pretty much the same thing everyday. Days when the concrete tone is even harder and more angry I walk away for half hour then try again.
Very often this works. The task is no easier but the anger from Susan has gone. Never give up on the smile 'cos that helps.
We'll go strawberry picking later. Make some jam - yummy.
cris