Abuse of appointeeship

[Nix]

Poor you Leslee I can't believe there'll be any way that he can get away with this. 6 months of care home fees Terrible behaviour.

I'm now waiting for the fall out of preventing my brother any access to our dad's account. BUT I'm glad I've done it as I want my dad to be able to spend the rest of his days as comfortably as possible.

Sending hugs.

 

[leslee]

I must admit that the fallout is a major reason that I've been putting this off but he's sent a breakdown of where the missing £30,000 went and while 10 of it might be acceptable, the rest is pure fantasy. Funnily enough it includes another 2 £3,000 gifts to him from an account that Mam wasn't even aware that she had!

Good luck, Nix x

 

[tp18]

I dont have anything else to add to the good advice that others have given, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am that this has happened to your poor mum. Some people have absolutely no morals.

*hugs*

 

[leslee]

I phoned Action on elder abuse this morning. They told me that it could be difficult for the police to make a case now that Mam is dead. They also said that checks are supposed to be carried out by DWP before an appointeeship is made and to make an official complaint to them. We are going to see a policeman tomorrow but I rang them earlier and they seem to think that this could now be a civil matter rather than a police one

Take note those of you that are delaying reporting relatives that may be robbing your parents/grandparents.

 

[Norfolkgirl]

I phoned Action on elder abuse this morning. They told me that it could be difficult for the police to make a case now that Mam is dead. They also said that checks are supposed to be carried out by DWP before an appointeeship is made and to make an official complaint to them. We are going to see a policeman tomorrow but I rang them earlier and they seem to think that this could now be a civil matter rather than a police one

Take note those of you that are delaying reporting relatives that may be robbing your parents/grandparents.

How funny, I've been down that road too, the Police saying "it's a civil matter" and "your mum needs to make the complaint herself....blah, blah" even though I tell them she has clear signs of dementia, vulnerable and still a victim of fraud/financial abuse. I still believe what your brother did was theft/fraud and should be dealt with accordingly. The Police have a habit of fobbing us off 'cos they either can't be bothered or have too much work and fewer staff. I am inclined to make official complaint to police and/or IPCC.

Do let us know how your meeting with the Police was.

 

[flighty]

Oh my word, how all of this resonates.
I discovered last week that my sister has been bleeding my mother's pension account dry for at least two and a half years and most probably for far longer than that.
Mother died at the end of July and I have recently been going through old post and paperwork to start the probate ball rolling. Had I not got to her house on the morning that a bank statement arrived and before anyone else could get hold of it I might never have found out.
I have been floundering for days wondering which way to jump and finally spoke to Action for Elderly Abuse this morning who advised me to go back to mother's solicitor. I am doing so tomorrow.
I am absolutely devastated. My sister appears to be a genuine, decent human being yet has systematically cleared out tens of thousands of pounds over the last few years. The money is almost incidental ..... despite potentially having deprived the grandchildren of what might have rightfully been theirs if anything had happened to she or I.
The staggeringly hurtful thing is the dishonesty and bravado with which she has gone about it. I can't see any way back from this. I have met with broken trust many times but never to such a degree and never from someone the whole family regarded as completely moral.
We all live local to each other and I have had to keep my situation firmly to myself in case anyone should inadvertently ''leak'' my findings and that is crippling me emotionally. My poor little dog is my sounding board at the moment and she must be getting pretty fed up with my ramblings!
Hopefully, the solicitor will give me some focus tomorrow. I don't see ''the family'' ever being a complete unit again,though.

 

[leslee]

It's horrible, isn't it flighty? Like being doubly bereaved. You do have my sympathies.

 

[Norfolkgirl]

Oh my word, how all of this resonates.
I discovered last week that my sister has been bleeding my mother's pension account dry for at least two and a half years and most probably for far longer than that.
Mother died at the end of July and I have recently been going through old post and paperwork to start the probate ball rolling. Had I not got to her house on the morning that a bank statement arrived and before anyone else could get hold of it I might never have found out.
I have been floundering for days wondering which way to jump and finally spoke to Action for Elderly Abuse this morning who advised me to go back to mother's solicitor. I am doing so tomorrow.
I am absolutely devastated. My sister appears to be a genuine, decent human being yet has systematically cleared out tens of thousands of pounds over the last few years. The money is almost incidental ..... despite potentially having deprived the grandchildren of what might have rightfully been theirs if anything had happened to she or I.
The staggeringly hurtful thing is the dishonesty and bravado with which she has gone about it. I can't see any way back from this. I have met with broken trust many times but never to such a degree and never from someone the whole family regarded as completely moral.
We all live local to each other and I have had to keep my situation firmly to myself in case anyone should inadvertently ''leak'' my findings and that is crippling me emotionally. My poor little dog is my sounding board at the moment and she must be getting pretty fed up with my ramblings!
Hopefully, the solicitor will give me some focus tomorrow. I don't see ''the family'' ever being a complete unit again,though.

Oh my WORD! it's like groundhog day for me listening to your story!!! I really hope your solicitor has some plan for you.....do let us know.

In my case, my mum is still alive and the family fraudsters have got away with it for 3 years and continuing so. I have so much evidence you wouldn't believe but Police won't get involved. Even Action Fraud said it is imperative Police investigate but they have no powers themselves to sway them. Police are pointless!

 

[Noorza]

It saddens me so much that siblings would financially abuse their own parents, the people I trusted as trustees to manage my will on behalf of my son have proven to be the most financially and morally deviant people I know. Naturally my will has been changed and while I am hoping it will not be needed for a long long time they will have no influence on it. Damned sad.

 

[leslee]

It seems to be all to common, Noorza.

I have talked to the police about my mother's case now and the policeman was very interested in the statements and transfers of cash. However, because the police are now involved, I won't be posting on my own case any more x

 

[flighty]

I posted a hand written note to my sister yesterday offering an easy way out. You admit to having taken the money and we square it with the proceeds from the house sale.

I've heard nothing back.

So .... the gloves are off come Monday and the solicitor's letter will be winging its way to the courts.

 

[Norfolkgirl]

I posted a hand written note to my sister yesterday offering an easy way out. You admit to having taken the money and we square it with the proceeds from the house sale.

I've heard nothing back.

So .... the gloves are off come Monday and the solicitor's letter will be winging its way to the courts.

Keep us posted. Is your solicitor claiming it is a civil matter rather than theft?

 

[Noorza]

I posted a hand written note to my sister yesterday offering an easy way out. You admit to having taken the money and we square it with the proceeds from the house sale.

I've heard nothing back.

So .... the gloves are off come Monday and the solicitor's letter will be winging its way to the courts.

Good for you flighty, she will have to be terrified of the consequences as people like our siblings are money motivated, actually I'd go further money obsessed.

 

[leslee]

I totally agree Noorza. We have tried alsorts but I think my brother is truely convinced that he has done nothing wrong. In fact he claims that it is us that are money obsessed. Freud would have had a field day with him.

However, good luck, Flighty x

 

[flighty]

I got a one-line text accepting my ''offer.'' I did say that if there had been someone else with access to the account then we needed to go to the police ..... that probably did the trick.

The solicitor has been informed and I'm off to drop paperwork in this morning. (She did ask if I would be prepared to go to the police should we get no joy with a ''softer'' approach but, hopefully, we've avoided this.)

My stress levels this last few weeks have been astonishing. Slightly less now but still in turmoil over where on earth the family goes from here. I am not interested in the motives (did it once and got away with it so I'll carry on, probably) but I need a just outcome for me and my kids who've been systematically ripped off for years.

Without that statement, found quite fortuitously, we might never have known. It's a wonder some people can sleep at night.

 

[rajahh]

Flighty I am glad you have that text. Keep it!!!! Yes it is very sad and relations with your sister will be very different fromnow on, but you were so right to face it

Jeannette

 

[Noorza]

Flighty I am glad you have that text. Keep it!!!! Yes it is very sad and relations with your sister will be very different fromnow on, but you were so right to face it

Jeannette

It's so hard to accept we share the same gene pool. Someone has managed to get my PoA debit card for Mum's account cancelled it, have reordered it to Mum's address ALL without my knowledge. It's in my sole name!

You are right Jeannette the relationship will never heal from this point, and it's the sister who has changed the relationship when she stole. Honestly, what's wrong with these people, what happened to their moral compasses?

 

[nitram]

"...Someone has managed to get my PoA debit card for Mum's account cancelled it, have reordered it to Mum's address ALL without my knowledge. It's in my sole name!..."


There might be an innocent explanation.

If a bank detects that a card has been used for a transaction, especially a 'card not present' one, with a merchant where other card holders have had their details compromised they sometimes cancel and reissue the card.

 

[flighty]

Honestly, what's wrong with these people, what happened to their moral compasses?

Baffling. And for her to sit in the solicitor's office on our first visit and bare-faced lie is just incredible.

Solicitor has subsequently said she detected an ''atmosphere.'' It was probably bum-cheeks clenching.

 

[Noorza]

"...Someone has managed to get my PoA debit card for Mum's account cancelled it, have reordered it to Mum's address ALL without my knowledge. It's in my sole name!..."


There might be an innocent explanation.

If a bank detects that a card has been used for a transaction, especially a 'card not present' one, with a merchant where other card holders have had their details compromised they sometimes cancel and reissue the card.

Sadly it looks as if it is going to be more sinister than that.

The bank manager said that someone has set up telephone banking and circumvented the bank's security! Why can't they just leave well alone, it's not as if I wouldn't notice!