Carers are "Criminals"!

[Noorza]

I struck me today that if I had done everything I had been accused of I'd be serving a full life tariff with no possibility of parole. Crimes I've been charged with

Deliberately giving her diahorrea - so I can clean it off the floor - yippee.

Conspiring with the nurses to make them hide her tablets - Man I'm baaaaad.

Not letting the doctors discharge her - It's a blast paying those hospital car park fees.

I'm depressed - I must go to the doctors but she's fine. - Okay dokay.

I've stolen money she doesn't even have - damned I'm smart.

I'm the "devil daughter" - that will teach me not to have become one of the invisibles.

I've made her life a misery - large dose of irony anyone.

I'm a fraud - I will be sacked my Avon - My Avon manager loves me.

I'm a bad mum - child will be taken into care - my child is spoilt due to his autism and OCD for which I admittedly overcompensate. Professionals/teachers praise my parenting of him.

I'm a bad daughter - she will tell the GP she's abused - odd that it was me getting the punches and kicks, how's that work then?

So over to you other "Criminal Carers" what have you been accused of? I think I might have to go over to the "light side" and join the invisibles. They're smart, no jobs to do for her and not a crime committed by even one of them.

 

[janma221]

I drive back home (about 2 hours) after visiting my mother and I NEVER say goodbye to her. Obviously I just sneak out of the house to ensure I don't have to cope with farewells. Think I get off lightly if that's the only crime I commit but sure that will change.
Take care
Jan xxx

 

[garnuft]

I remember shouting, screaming ...oh....lots of times at my mam as I was growing up...

'I HATE YOU!'.

She never let me down.
She loved me anyway.
I return the compliment.
#handcuffsoflove

 

[gillou]

I'm not having a good day either, very tempting to say to MIL "If I'm so **** why don't you pack your bags and go and live in a care home? I am sooo nasty I would happily work round the clock to pay the fees"

 

[Noorza]

I drive back home (about 2 hours) after visiting my mother and I NEVER say goodbye to her. Obviously I just sneak out of the house to ensure I don't have to cope with farewells. Think I get off lightly if that's the only crime I commit but sure that will change.
Take care
Jan xxx

I bet you take your shoes off and tip toe too, so she doesn't notice.

 

[Noorza]

I'm not having a good day either, very tempting to say to MIL "If I'm so **** why don't you pack your bags and go and live in a care home? I am sooo nasty I would happily work round the clock to pay the fees"

Replace "nasty" with worn down and exhausted. It's the hardest job in the world.

 

[janma221]

I bet you take your shoes off and tip toe too, so she doesn't notice.

Naturally in fact myself, husband and 3 year old grandson managed to sneak out too.
xx

 

[Noorza]

Naturally in fact myself, husband and 3 year old grandson managed to sneak out too.
xx

Now a three year old too - that's a great trick You should get a master "criminal" award.

 

[sarahp]

Hello again noorza, yes I was the one that had mums driving license revoked! All my fault. (Nothing to do with the fact on the medical driving test she went round a roundabout 3 times and nearly hit a car). And when she was driving she stopped on the motorway because she couldn't work out how to put the roof down!!

In the early days I used to have my siblings phoning me asking if I had taken certain things because they've had mum on in bits because ive apparently whilst I was there taken, all stupid things like a pencil case was one that sticks out and she was actually going to call the police to tell them I had taken this pencil case! Cookery books, toe nail clippers (the cause of a big fall out lol) all sorts, all her favourite ones!! I would go round and find them packed in a bag she had packed up somewhere or they would turn up! She would actually tell them she saw me with it in my hand and walk off with it! Me and my brother laugh about it now but at the time it was so stressful.

Xxx

 

[Noorza]

Hello again noorza, yes I was the one that had mums driving license revoked! All my fault. (Nothing to do with the fact on the medical driving test she went round a roundabout 3 times and nearly hit a car). And when she was driving she stopped on the motorway because she couldn't work out how to put the roof down!!

In the early days I used to have my siblings phoning me asking if I had taken certain things because they've had mum on in bits because ive apparently whilst I was there taken, all stupid things like a pencil case was one that sticks out and she was actually going to call the police to tell them I had taken this pencil case! Cookery books, toe nail clippers (the cause of a big fall out lol) all sorts, all her favourite ones!! I would go round and find them packed in a bag she had packed up somewhere or they would turn up! She would actually tell them she saw me with it in my hand and walk off with it! Me and my brother laugh about it now but at the time it was so stressful.

Xxx

You are a terrible person, how could you take the toe nail clippers, that's just cruel. I'd give you a couple of years for that. Mum was "burgled" and they "stole" half a snooker ball set and left the expensive stuff. At least I din't get blamed for that one.

I have had a sibling accuse me of all kinds as he has believed Mum's delusions, we don't laugh about it, I just figured he doesn't know me very well to believe it, I've only ever cared for Mum. I do let off steam on here and find it a fabulous site, it has kept me sane for two days, that's a long time for me.

 

[nerak]

Well as my mum screams at me why dont you all just stop interfering in thier lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes if i make an apt for her she goes mad stop interfering in my life??? well stop behaving mad then!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Noorza]

Well as my mum screams at me why dont you all just stop interfering in thier lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes if i make an apt for her she goes mad stop interfering in my life??? well stop behaving mad then!!!!!!!!!!!!

But in their minds they are "normal" whatever normal is, they don't see their thinking is skewed.

That is what makes it so damned hard.

 

[sarahp]

Yes maybe laugh was the wrong word but my brother anyway, realises how silly he was!!

 

[Ang57]

I understand

I have had social services here today to attempt ensure Mum will get the level of care she will need when I leave. She is very nasty towards me and makes me feel like a bad person, when all I've done is look after her, possibly too well.

As always, she called me fit to burn about everything and anything.... she's attempted to turn everyone against me, and I think it frustrates her that the authorities seem to believe her, but friends and family don't, because they see for themselves how she treats me. Today she said she feels like a victim, but she's the one who attacks me if I'm not the good girl that she brought up. Little girls should be seen and not heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has called me so much, I have no confidence left that others believe that I'm not the person she describes me as.

I've done my best because I promised my Dad, who is in a nursing home with advanced dementia (vascular and alzheimers) that I would look after her, but nothing I do is good enough for Mum and never will be.

I've decided to draw the line with her constant complaints about me, because I wake up every day trembling and fearful of what she will make up about me next.

I wish I could say something to help you, say it will get better, or it's just part of the dementia process, but I won't be around long enough to find out.

Do take care of yourself............. My Mum and Dad are not my parents any more, it's a cruel illness, in my opinion more for the carer than the sufferer of dementia x

 

[Noorza]

Yes maybe laugh was the wrong word but my brother anyway, realises how silly he was!!

I am so glad your brother came to his senses, my brother is only interested in taking the little money she has. I am happy he realises he was foolish.

 

[Noorza]

Ang you have helped me more that you can ever know. To know I am not alone, that this is not unique to me is massively helpful. Thank you xx

 

[nerak]

I have had social services here today to attempt ensure Mum will get the level of care she will need when I leave. She is very nasty towards me and makes me feel like a bad person, when all I've done is look after her, possibly too well.

As always, she called me fit to burn about everything and anything.... she's attempted to turn everyone against me, and I think it frustrates her that the authorities seem to believe her, but friends and family don't, because they see for themselves how she treats me. Today she said she feels like a victim, but she's the one who attacks me if I'm not the good girl that she brought up. Little girls should be seen and not heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has called me so much, I have no confidence left that others believe that I'm not the person she describes me as.

I've done my best because I promised my Dad, who is in a nursing home with advanced dementia (vascular and alzheimers) that I would look after her, but nothing I do is good enough for Mum and never will be.

I've decided to draw the line with her constant complaints about me, because I wake up every day trembling and fearful of what she will make up about me next.

I wish I could say something to help you, say it will get better, or it's just part of the dementia process, but I won't be around long enough to find out.

Do take care of yourself............. My Mum and Dad are not my parents any more, it's a cruel illness, in my opinion more for the carer than the sufferer of dementia x

Poor you can relate so much to how you are feeling and you are doing the right thing I have had it too and last week was enough she told my family that I was stealing from her and that i was nasty and she was afraid of me????????????????

Its not my mum thats hurting me shes ill its the people around who believe her thats what I cant handle Ive been so hurt and angry esp.with my sisters that ive felt like hitting them BUT have now refused to speak or see them.

My mum gets the best of care I will leave with no guilt that I did everything HUMANLY possible to help her that I love her and will make sure shes ok before I leave.

As for my sisters I will see them at the funeral then never again but am trying to forgive them???? the hardest thing ive ever had to do.

My sis is coming in a few weeks and im already pysically sick EVERY TIME she comes theres **** she sticks up for mammy and thinks mams depressed because IM HERE well lets just see her face when the diagnosis hits home my only support is my elder bro who is going to demand they apologise but I couldnt care less ive been close to a breakdown NOT from mum but them and am off soon!!

Yep IM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish you the best in life you deserve it please let us know how youre doing!

 

[stillcaring]

Back to things we get accused of:-

Confusing her - 'I was fine till you came'
Making her have to hoover the carpet because I've messed it up so much by not leaving the pile perfectly straight, notwithstanding the fact that till I hoovered you couldn't see the pile for fluff and crumbs and nasty squitty bits of rolled up tissues.

 

[woowoo]

Kind of at a tangent - I'm fed up with the 'benefit cheat' or 'scrounger' label that we often get branded with. Some of my friends on Facebook are under the impression I sit on my backside all day and have lie ins. I wish!

 

[Austinsmum]

Things we are accused of...

Apparently I take all her clothes, which is why she wears mine...(She has a fungal nail infection, I am a runner and have special trainers, she roots them out of my wardrobe and, and, and, you just know she needs to wear them )

And regards the nail infection, I keep buying a kit to deal with it but she keeps rooting out the nail files and using them all up in one go. Doesn’t matter how well I hide it, her entire day is dedicated to pacing and rummaging. Today she said she wants to live in a flat, we make her work SO HARD, UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS ALL DAY, (and that, apparently, after she’s been out to work all day...)