Hiya Sarah,
So sorry that you are having to go through all of this right now but great to see how supportive you and your brothers are being towards your dad.
Some things for you to think about...
Contact the local branch of the Alzheimers Society as they have people who understand your dad's illness as well as what help is available locally. They can arrange, for example, for someone to come out and make sure your dad is getting the proper benefits etc that he is entitled to.
Look up the adult social care services in the phone book ..you'll find them under the council pages..and ask them to do an assessment.
You don't say how old your brothers are, but I would sit down together and make some lists. One detailing the challenges your dad has on a day to day basis. The next being what kind of help your dad needs and also whatever help you and your brothers need in order to care for your dad. Make a list of things you think might help your dad eg practical things...does he need help with personal hygiene...showering...cooking...cleaning...getting out and about..is he leaving the cooker on..wandering out of the house and getting lost...is he getting up during the night...would grab rails help around the house...do you need the cooker or electric sockets in the kitchen to be isolated..would them installing a phone care line help..write it all down so you don't forget something when talking to these other people.
Things that are helpful for you to be aware of...
The local authority is responsible for the health and welfare of your dad. Not you. Do not let them bully you or your brothers into doing something you are not happy doing.
The most extensive care package they can give in the home is normally 4 visits a day. It is not common for them to provide care during the night. If this is needed then this is usually the point that they consider that residential care would be more cost effective.
The best option for you all might be for your dad to go to day care every day but that would involve you having to provide any care that your dad needs at night. Would you and your brothers be able to cover this?
You talk about you moving out...what would be your reason for doing this?
If your dad owns his own home then the local authority might expect,him to fund his own care, but, depending on circumstances they disregard the house in deciding who funds his care. You might need to get someone NOT the local authority, to help you sort out and understand your dad's finances. Someone from the CAB or Alzheimers Society might be able to help you with this. If possible it would help greatly if your dad could give you power of attorney ... If you want more information about this then give us a shout and we will point you in the right direction. Just bear in mind that this is probably your priority thing to do whilst your dad might still have the capacity to do this.
Don't try and figure all this out on your own. If there is anything we can help you with then just give us a shout.
Hope this helps and gives you a starter for ten to think about.
Fiona
