Help in the home

[Orientate]

My wife has to be locked in the house or she will go walk-about. Whilst I can still leave her I appreciate that it is not ideal. Looking ahead I can see the day not too far in the future when she may have to go into residential care. As an alternative I am considering employing a full time carer so that she does not have to go into a home. This could be live-in.

Does anyone have any experience or advice on this matter?

 

[cragmaid]

My wife has to be locked in the house or she will go walk-about

Sorry to be blunt, but this is not really safe. if there was a fire or flood, could she get out, would she know how to escape in time?
Have you had any intervention from Social Services, perhaps contacting them, and also your local AZ Soc for help, may point you in the right direction to finding assistance both with regard to keeping your wife safe in her own home and help to find a full or part time carer and safety equipment such as a call care button key box lunchtime callers etc. or day centres .
Please bear in mind the additional costs if you go down the private carer/ employer route. Tax & NI, cover for time off, holidays, sick pay, weekend cover are all costs to be taken into consideration. It can be a bit of a minefield. Good luck

 

[tre]

As your wife has ftd I wonder whether you are needing to leaveher at home because you are both fairly young ( in terms of dementia) and so you need to go to work.

Is there any day care available in your area which might help ?

Is there any chance you could work from home for a couple of days a week?

In the end you may be faced with the decision I was. Is it going to cost you more to keep working and pay for home care for your wife than to give up work and look after her yourself?

For me the economics of this was that it was less costly for me to give up work and care full time for my husband. It also helped that he preferred me to look after him and It was what I wanted. On the downside I now only get £58 per week carers allowance and would not get this if I had any other income in excess of £100 per week.

When my children were little I took a break from work to look after them. A very close friend with children of similar ages hated being at home all day and went back to work having them minded. I do not feel either of us made the wrong decision. You must do what you feel comfortable with. If you do not feel you would be able to be a full time carer for your wife then do not do it. We are all different and you must be true to yourself. When my friend told me she was going back to work I think she felt I would condemn her. I did not. She was being honest. It was better that she enjoyed being with her children when she came home from work rather than she did what others judged to be the right thing and resented it.

Think carefully about what you can do and then see what help is on offer. The local Carers group will help not only full time carers but those that are at work. try contacting them.

love Tre

 

[Orientate]

Home Alone

Many thanks for your responses and concerns. Our garden is secure and my wife is able to get out if the need arises, indeed she wanders the garden at regular intervals - in all weathers. The main concern is getting out the front door.

We are both retired so my being at home and caring for her at present is not an issue. I am looking ahead to the time that I may not be able to cope and investigating the various options. A friend had a live-in nurse and this was much better all round than his wife being in a home. I think I would prefer to go down this route but am still to make up my mind.

 

[rajahh]

Not sure if I am allowed to give names but there was a firm called (Care firm name removed). a neighbour used them. They send people to live in , but theyonly stay for about 2 weeks or so, then someone new comes.

If you google live in carers you should get some websites to look at

Jeannette

 

[meme]

seems like a good idea to start looking for some carers you (and your wife) like who fulfull what is needed..

 

[Orientate]

Home Alone

seems like a good idea to start looking for some carers you (and your wife) like who fulfull what is needed..

Many thanks for your comments

 

[stanleypj]

A distant relative, very old and frail with some dementia symptoms had someone living-in from an organisation that vetted and placed young people mostly from abroad.

She was a very independent-minded woman and preferred this to any kind of institution. It seemed to work though I think later on she had some daily care visits as well.

Perhaps someone else will know more about this scheme. There is of course a very strict contract in place regarding what they can and can't do.