Mum is almost 90 has had dementia for almost 10 years and is in a CH and becoming more and more physically and mentally frail .I visit 5 days a week and on some occasion's like the last 2 days most of the time she sits with her eyes closed and rubs the bridge of her nose , i can be talking and she just sort of shuts off , she was also hallucinating today while her eyes were closed and on opening them seeing blankets?.Mum is also having problems with staff talking to her and not understanding what said as she said i dont know what that was about also mistakes similar sounding words for another.Im going on here a bit i just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences with the shutting off and what is best to do if anything .Mum looks very tired maybe whats going on is its all to much for her , its a wicked illness .I feel that it would be kinder for Mum to sleep away , bless her.
Mum
- Thread starter bets daughter
- Start date
hello
my mum , sometimes does the same thing. i would ask her,"hi mum how are you, who have you seen today do you want a drink". i found out this was to much info at once. it confused her and she would just go quiet. i think this was because she could not understand me and did not want to answer with something silly. i do belive she new what i was saying but her brain could not put it into words. now when i see her i say "hi mum how are you" then wait for her answer. this does work. but all cases are different.
hope this helps, yours john.
my mum , sometimes does the same thing. i would ask her,"hi mum how are you, who have you seen today do you want a drink". i found out this was to much info at once. it confused her and she would just go quiet. i think this was because she could not understand me and did not want to answer with something silly. i do belive she new what i was saying but her brain could not put it into words. now when i see her i say "hi mum how are you" then wait for her answer. this does work. but all cases are different.
hope this helps, yours john.
Thankyou John for your reply , i think you could be right,I tend to talk about things i think Mum likes to hear about like grand children and great grandchildren and not ask many questions as i know thats to difficult ,Mum has the same 3 questions she asks so its not easy for her.So when your Mum is like this do try and get her to respond or just let her sit with her eyes closed .Thankyou again Margaret
Hi Bet's daughter,
My mother has descended rapidly in recent weeks.
I notice more problems producing words and sentences (though this can fluctuate a lot); she also is misunderstanding a lot of what we say. Like John, I have taken to repeating simple phrases, looking to see if she responds appropriately, if not repeating it.
I now don't ask questions as she genuinely doesn't seem to know if she is hungry, thirsty and so on. So, if it is time for tea, I just offer her a cup and observe.
Wish I could be more helpful, but I just have to go out now, going off to see friends! Love BE
My mother has descended rapidly in recent weeks.
I notice more problems producing words and sentences (though this can fluctuate a lot); she also is misunderstanding a lot of what we say. Like John, I have taken to repeating simple phrases, looking to see if she responds appropriately, if not repeating it.
I now don't ask questions as she genuinely doesn't seem to know if she is hungry, thirsty and so on. So, if it is time for tea, I just offer her a cup and observe.
Wish I could be more helpful, but I just have to go out now, going off to see friends! Love BE
Thankyou for your reply BE , i try not to ask questions like you its difficult .Just not sure what to do when shuts off try and stimulate by chatting or let her have peace and not .
Hi bets daughter,
I'm sorry, I don't really have any concrete advice because I've not yet been in the situation you describe, but
my mam does do this all the time. It causes several rows a day because she thinks dad has said something stupid that doesn't make sense, when in fact it is usually her misunderstanding or possibly mis-hearing what he says. We don't know if she actually has a hearing problem or if it's part of the Alzheimer's. I know this isn't much help but it might comfort you to know you're not alone with this.
With visiting your mum, I'd do as Kassy did, and simply sit quietly and hold her hand, or maybe just chat very quietly, or read something to her, in a gentle voice. The rhythm of your voice might soothe her even if she doesn't understand what you're saying, maybe. Or perhaps you could try a nice hand massage instead of talking?
I don't really know about shutting off to the extent that your mum is doing it, but I have noticed lately that my mam doesn't contribute much to conversations and just sits staring into mid-air, and I think that it's probably because she doesn't understand what we're talking about and can't follow the conversation any more, so she is starting to withdraw.
It's very sad, isn't it?
I'm sorry, I don't really have any concrete advice because I've not yet been in the situation you describe, but
my mam does do this all the time. It causes several rows a day because she thinks dad has said something stupid that doesn't make sense, when in fact it is usually her misunderstanding or possibly mis-hearing what he says. We don't know if she actually has a hearing problem or if it's part of the Alzheimer's. I know this isn't much help but it might comfort you to know you're not alone with this.
With visiting your mum, I'd do as Kassy did, and simply sit quietly and hold her hand, or maybe just chat very quietly, or read something to her, in a gentle voice. The rhythm of your voice might soothe her even if she doesn't understand what you're saying, maybe. Or perhaps you could try a nice hand massage instead of talking?
I don't really know about shutting off to the extent that your mum is doing it, but I have noticed lately that my mam doesn't contribute much to conversations and just sits staring into mid-air, and I think that it's probably because she doesn't understand what we're talking about and can't follow the conversation any more, so she is starting to withdraw.
It's very sad, isn't it?
