Cooking advice needed

[Isabella41]

Mum is not allowed to have a cooker for safety reasons. She was leaving the hob on and it was felt it was too much of a safety risk. If we had put a power isolater on she would have argued black and blue as to why others could use 'her' cooker but not her so the OT felt that weighing all options up and taking mum's stubborn and unbending will into account - no cooker at all was the best option.

She has been managing on microwavable plated dinners for the past year. Some months back she was insisting she wanted bacon and sausages and that sort of food so I bought her a George Forman. That wasn't good enough as 1. It doesn't fry eggs and 2. the food tastes horrible (in her opinion).

For the past few weeks mum has been going on and on about wanting an electric frying pan. Apparently one of her neighbours has one and they have put the idea in her head. I wouldn't even want to imagine the damage she could inflict unpon herself with an electric fying pan half full of hot oil. When mum cooked years ago the pan was swimming with fat so she has plently of form in this area. I've refused point blank to buy one but she has told me she will ask Liana (her grandaughter) to get her one.

I've tried telling mum that as soon as the electric frying pan is spotted in the house the SW will be round like a flash and will take it away. She doesn't care and just says she's get another one!! This has the makings of another all out standoff like we had last year when she was insisting she was moving down south.

I was looking in town earlier today and I saw an electric hot plate thingy. It doesn't have a lid. It looks like a flat plate with a lip on it and you use it to fry food. I havent seen such a thing before so I was wondering if anyone has any experience of them.

Also if anyone can come up with other safe ideas on cooking applicances.

This week mum told me there was no point in buying her microwave meals as she wasn't going to eat them. Her food for the week is 2 packets of ham, a small salad bowe and some extra tomatoes. I was thinking of alerting the sw to this on Monday so that she is at least aware of this new development.

I really don't know what to do for the best.

It seems daft to spend £40 on a device when the only thing it does that George doesn't is fry an egg. Its a very expensive fried egg!!

Isabella

 

[limafoxtrot]

I was looking in town earlier today and I saw an electric hot plate thingy. It doesn't have a lid. It looks like a flat plate with a lip on it and you use it to fry food. I havent seen such a thing before so I was wondering if anyone has any experience of them.Isabella

Hi Isabella

Those hot plates are quite common where we live, most here have a flat side & a ridged side + a tempreture dial. They are quite handy but ours have no way off showing you how hot it is like holigen and with it being open, maybe it's not a good idea, say if you Mum has an habit of putting her hands on it, it could burn her.

The only other thing I can think if is having hot meals delivered.

Lima x

 

[Moonflower]

I'm afraid I have no relevant experience at all, but I suspect that if your mum wants an electric frying pan nothing else will do. So I wouldn't be inclined to waste money. If someone else buys her one, let the SW be the bad guy who takes it away.

A slow cooker might be safe enough, but probably not what she wants

 

[Isabella41]

I suggested getting the coffee shop over the road from her to deliver a cooked meal a few times a week but that was not acceptable either. Its as if mum always wants the one thing she can't have but then if you manage to give it to her it wasn't what she wanted after all. Its just so hard to know what to do for the best.

Isabella

 

[FifiMo]

Hiya Isabella,

The only thing with these electric hot plates and electric frying pans etc are that they have no safety cutout provision on them. With the hot plates as has been said you often can't tell how hot they are just by looking at them. The other multicooker things all look like pans and my fear would be that your mum might try to wash it either when it is hot or still plugged in. How about scrambled eggs done in the microwave? The only other thing that I might consider would be a slow cooker because they run at a lot lower temp, but that will not keep her happy I do not think.

Maybe this is one of those times that you pass the,hot potato on to the SW to deliver the bad news. Do they,not have a dining facility where your mum is?

Fiona

 

[Katrine]

I think she's missing the taste of fatty food. Ready meals are so 'healthy' nowadays. Perhaps Liana could bring a chipshop meal when she visits e.g. battered sausage and chips? Or a bacon, sausage and egg sarny from the cafe? Could she take her to the cafe for a meal to see what she likes on the menu and then arrange for the same meal to be delivered? Does she like pizza? You could arrange for a nice greasy meat feast pizza to turn up once a week.

 

[jan.s]

I posted a silly idea!! She doesn't have a hob does she?!

 

[ellejay]

Its as if mum always wants the one thing she can't have but then if you manage to give it to her it wasn't what she wanted after all

Think you're on a hiding to nowhere Isabella

Lin x

 

[horserider100]

re cooking

hi my friend has a electric oil cooker called a Actifry. it makes chips with about 2 ml of oil
, i do think it has a thermal cut out built in but will try and check hope this of some help.
yours jh.

 

[Fed Up]

Can you not see if an induction hob like Delia and Mary Berry uses will do ? I think Lakeland has one as do John Lewis. I have induction and it's as safer as unless the pan is on it don't work, and its clean. Has only residual heat when the pan is removed so could help.
I have this type of hob as no gas here, but it is very good and attractive.
I'd think an electric frying pan could be quite dangerous but the idea of a slow cooker is great. Cunisart do make a type of grill press but is it expensive at £100 but it does open out so an egg can be fried and it gets very hot.
The type of George Grill damaged my kitchen cupboards and the edging board had to be replaced as they get so hot, so please be careful if your mum has a habit of leaving things on.

I hope you find a solution.

 

[Big Effort]

Isabella,
I've had a mad idea. Why not beat her at her own game. I think your Mum and mine are of an ilk = extremely determined. So why not say: "Yes" to the frying pan. This will surprise her, and if you agree there is nothing to obsess about and insist on. Just tell her you want a particular one, and it's expensive, so you are waiting for the 'sales'. Who knows when the next sale will be. And just hope it is a passing fad.

Mum doesn't have a cooker. Or a frying pan. That's why I prepare all her food.
I do hope you can nip this in the bud. I can already imagine how trying it is.

Imagine her face when you say yes! But not quite yet! When she asks, "It's coming. I haven't forgotten."

Night de la belle France, xx BE

 

[Necion]

hi Isabella,

I agree with the suggestion of an 'induction' hob plate.
As has been said, they're useless unless there is a pan with food in it on the ceramic (glass) plate.
They can be bought as single 1-pan units, and plug into the socket. Of course with that in mind, you would need to double check that it's not possible to move the hotplate to the sink whilst it is plugged in !!!! Regulations say sockets have to be far enough away from the sink for this not to be possible, but best check.

Perhaps one of these, and only one compatible pan ( not all pans conduct the heat, so again check) ...... say one of those NON STICK extra deep 'frypans' with a glass lid, would give your mum the facility to do her bacon & egg safely.

I'd be saying to make sure there are no bottles of oil in the house, and only leave eg a couple of day's supply of butter or marg in the fridge. Definately no blocks of lard etc..... that way she wouldn't have the 'fat' to put in the pan even if she wants it.

Suggestion...... 'this is the very latest in electricity-saving cookers..... it costs nearly nothing to run!!' Would that impress mum??

Hope you manage to find a solution soon - and I'm with mum, microwave meals are ok in very small quantities, very infrequently!

Lots of love, Necion. xx

 

[Onlyme]

I would go with saying you will get it in the sales.

MIL used to want something and want it NOW but as soon as you got it she moved to the next fad.

 

[Isabella41]

Having weighed up all your suggestions I think the "yes I'll get you one but just not now" answer is the best fit. Mum always was and still incredibly tight about money - even more so now as for some reason in her mind everything costs far too much. She thinks bread should only be about 50p and milk about the same (for 2L bottle).

The induction hob is a great idea but with so many less informed and clued up individuals visiting her it wouldn't be long before someone bought her a large bottle of cooking oil. Its only a small kitchen so it would be entirely possible to get a portable hob too close to the sink ( and in the sink too).

I have no doubt that she will have a new obsession before long. It really does seem to be a case of deciding that if only she could have X or be at Y or go to Z then all her woes would be over and she'd be happy.

When she was in the home for respite before Christmas she was insisting in the car on the way over that she was glad to be going there and was planning on staying for good. 36 hours later she was on the phone to me pleading to be taken home again. She told me the food was rotten all the time of her 2 week stay. On friday night past she told me the food in the home was great and that maybe she should think about going there for good.

When she's in the flat she thinks she lonely despite never a day passing with at least 3 visitors and constant phone calls. She thought she wouldn't be lonely in the home but once there she claimed there was no one to talk to and wanted back home to all her friends.

For months she plagued me to take her back down south to her original home. John and I took her there one Sunday in early December and within minutes of arriving she declared the place a dump and wanted to be taken back 'home'. We had quite a job to even persuade her to see her best friend and even then it lasted 15 minutes. Now she is telling me she wants to go back there again when the weather is better. I tried telling her how she was last time. Her excuse was "I wasn't feeling well that day". Mum always has the answer. I can well remember when daddy and her would argue she always had the answers on the tip of her tongue and she had to be the one who got the last word... Nothing much has changed it seems.

Isabella

 

[Onlyme]

Shes seem to be searching for the thing that will make her better and everything appear normal to her. As you have said she doesn't realise that she carries her illness with her so where ever she goes she will be unhappy.

I have been called cold and heartless for saying things like that but as a fixer of problems I had to realise that I can't fix my Mum and can only comfort her on the journey and try to iron out the bumps along the way.

Your Mum has lasted a long time out of a care home but it does sound as if things are slowly going down hill again.

Loads of hugs.

 

[jan.s]

Just a thought, you can fry an egg in the microwave.

http://www.ehow.com/how_7723709_fry-egg-microwave.html

 

[limafoxtrot]

Just a thought, you can fry an egg in the microwave.

http://www.ehow.com/how_7723709_fry-egg-microwave.html

I've now booked marked the page, thanks Jan.

Lima x

 

[Isabella41]

Thanks for the link. I've had a look and I will certainly use it for myself as I love eggs and this would be quicker and less bother than getting a pan out.

As for mum... She no longer has the ability to do anything more complex than boil a kettle or assemble a basic sandwich so I think i'd be on the road to nowhere trying to her to take on board these details. I clean her microwave every week and the food is splattered all over it. It takes our microwave months to accumulate the splatters hers gets in a few days.

Your Mum has lasted a long time out of a care home but it does sound as if things are slowly going down hill again.

You're so very right. No one - Consultant included reckoned she's last any longer than a few weeks on her own. She's been out of hospital since the start of September so she has far exceeded all predictions. I really can't see her lasting another 6 months though as I can her functioning declining month on month. Sadly she still thinks there is nothing wrong with her.

Isabella