£10 charge for volunteer befriender

[justjimjams]

Horrified

If cost is incurred, in any shape or form, for such a service... Then the 'tab' should be picked up by other means, not from the very person who needs the most help.

My mother now in a home and suffering with dementia, received an MBE for all her many many decades of volunteer work... Setting up from scratch many groups - she would have been horrified to think that the 'end user'.. the vulnerable person who would value just a 'friendly' visit, would be charged...

I would like to thank Carpe Diem for questioning the very ethics of this and for making a stand on behalf of volunteers everywhere.

I hope so much, this 'charge too far', will be withdrawn. I do believe it is morally wrong.

justjimjams

 

[Jasmine's Mum]

I agree with other comments. It is totally wrong for them to charge for a volunteer's help. Try approaching the Red Cross. They provide support for carers you should say that your main interest is dementia sufferers.

Good luck and well done you!!

 

[carpe diem]

.
My mother now in a home and suffering with dementia, received an MBE for all her many many decades of volunteer work...
justjimjams

Hi Justjimjans, what an honour for your mum to recieve an MBE as a volunteer.

I agree with other comments. It is totally wrong for them to charge for a volunteer's help. Try approaching the Red Cross. They provide support for carers you should say that your main interest is dementia sufferers.

Good luck and well done you!!

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.
Sometimes I loose all hope in humanity. Charging for friendship.
We all understand there are costs involved and risks in everything, that is a no brainer.
I have told the AS I would be ashamed and embarrassed to be part of a scheme which charges for friendship.
I do think the most vulnerable sufferers without carers living near by are of course the hardest to provide any support for and it is much easier for the AS just to ignore them completely. To the best of my knowledge my mum has been offered a big fat zero, nada, nothing from the AS. It seems to be if someone has no relatives living near by the AS just sweeps them under the carpet. Please let me know if you think I'm wrong.... or right?
Talking Point is by far the best thing linked to the AS.

 

[jan.s]

I have received no support for the local AS. I emailed several times for information and received no response.

After R went into a CH, they phoned me to see what support they could offer. I told them they were a bit late.

 

[2jays]

I have received no support for the local AS. I emailed several times for information and received no response.

After R went into a CH, they phoned me to see what support they could offer. I told them they were a bit late.

Hmmmm
Next statement is only in my opinion

The one time I rang local AS for advice..... I had the phone put down on me..... It was Picked up on here what had happened and I was rung back by another person who said they had problems with their phone and apologised (guess because feedback from mods on here).....
Since then.... Leaflets arrived in the post then..... NOTHING

TP is much more helpful

 

[jan.s]

Yes, i agree. When i had CH problems, i phoned them, but they were unable to help me, so i phoned the central number. They were brilliant.

I guess it depends on who's running it. I think now they contact you after diagnosis, the consultant "refers" you. We obviously slipped through the net.

Never mind, i weathered the storm and survived, which is the most important thing. I was so lucky to have a good SW.

 

[KatherineW]

Hi Jan and 2jays

I'm sorry to hear that you feel you have experienced a disappointing response from our local services.

If either of you would like me to look into anything on your behalf, I'd be happy to do so. Please do get in touch via PM or email, if you would like.

Best wishes,

 

[trigger]

Hi befriending maybe ok but your visiting a person with dementia who may accuse the Volunteer of removing or taking things from there home
my example story my sister who lived 150 miles from mum would send my mum a lipstick, mum would put theses in a drawer in her bedroom, then in a telephone
conversation with my sister mum would say that my wife had taken the lipstick, my sister would then send another lipstick, because of so many other actuations
from mum that my wife was taking her cloths ( my wife is size 10 mum size 22 by the way lived next door to us, anyway my wife stopped visiting her , after mums death whilst going through the said drawer my sister and wife came across 20 or so lipsticks all new, My sister said ho that’s where all the lipsticks went , my sister then told my wife the story of mothers accusation ,, although it wasn’t true mun convinced my sister as I said your dealing with people with dementia rememember we were family

 

[hollycat]

Hi befriending maybe ok but your visiting a person with dementia who may accuse the Volunteer of removing or taking things from there home
my example story my sister who lived 150 miles from mum would send my mum a lipstick, mum would put theses in a drawer in her bedroom, then in a telephone
conversation with my sister mum would say that my wife had taken the lipstick, my sister would then send another lipstick, because of so many other actuations
from mum that my wife was taking her cloths ( my wife is size 10 mum size 22 by the way lived next door to us, anyway my wife stopped visiting her , after mums death whilst going through the said drawer my sister and wife came across 20 or so lipsticks all new, My sister said ho that’s where all the lipsticks went , my sister then told my wife the story of mothers accusation ,, although it wasn’t true mun convinced my sister as I said your dealing with people with dementia rememember we were family

The volunteers will surely just carry the same risks as doctors, nurses, carers, SS etc.

I live in HOPE, that all these organisations have systems in place to deal with such situations.

 

[trigger]

What system can you put in place unfortunately a lot of people with dementia when talking to a third person may seem very convincing plus the person they tell may not know they have dementia , remember dementia isn’t recognized by everyone so wouldn’t have any reason to doubt it and as the saying go’s mud sticks and what if the Police are involved ???

 

[carpe diem]

Hi befriending maybe ok but your visiting a person with dementia who may accuse the Volunteer of removing or taking things from there home

Oh that's risky, I won't bother then.

Here's a list of good things the AS has given me.
Good advice on the phone. someone to talk to.
Talking point.
I think they they do give good support to carers and sing for the brain is good if you can get there.
They do of course do a good job of raising awareness.

 

[Spiro]

Carpe Diem, Out of interest, did you find out how much training you would be given as a volunteer?

I'm sorry if I confused the role of volunteer befrienders with Dementia Support Workers. It's only because I seem to remember reading about them in the Living with Dementia magazine and thought that they did home visits and some form of befriending, if that's the right word.

Has anyone on Talking Point had any contact with these workers?

My experience of calling the helpline has been very positive. The staff I've spoken to come across as having had professional communication skills training.

 

[Chemmy]

I went through the local AS Befrienders training.

As I understood it, often (& I guess you can ask) you are assigned to a couple, one of whom has dementia and this is the person you take out/entertain for a couple of hours to give the spouse/carer a break. I would be confident that the carer would be aware that any accusation would be unlikely to be true.

There is on-going admin involved - lone worker procedure or something - which means you have to text when you start your session and text when you finish, so they know you're OK. You are given quite strict guidelines about what you can and can't be asked to do - no personal care, eg toileting, for instance, nor are you encouraged to take them to your home or run errands for them.

 

[beech mount]

But it is still wrong/immoral to make someone pay to have a "Friend", a friend will do all that is needed for there "Friend" including helping them with toileting.
Perhaps it should be renamed as "Companion"? IMO.
John.

 

[Chemmy]

But it is still wrong/immoral to make someone pay to have a "Friend", a friend will do all that is needed for there "Friend" including helping them with toileting.
Perhaps it should be renamed as "Companion"? IMO.
John.

If I'd been expected to help a stranger with toileting, I would not have signed up in the first place. That's a sure fire way to put off volunteers. We're talking about early stage dementia, so it would involve going on an outing to a garden centre or cafe or taking the dogs for a walk in the park. Something like that, to give the carer a break. As I understood it, once personal care became an issue, the befriender would be expected to stop - it's not intended to be a carer service on the cheap.

I have to agree though, I'm uncomfortable about asking the end user to pay. The local AS branch needs to be looking at sponsorship or fundraising, imo.

 

[Spiro]

Chemmy, is there any other AS "outreach" service in your area?

I think my local AS service offers a visiting service, but I don't know whether the visitor would be a volunteer, or someone on the payroll.

 

[Chemmy]

I've just had a look at the volunteer vacancies in the Yorkshire & Humberside region:

Volunteer: Community Fundraising Coordinator, Harrogate
Volunteer: Befriender, Hambleton and Richmondshire
Volunteer: Driver Leeds
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Leyburn
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Northallerton
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Malton
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Scarborough
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Pickering
Volunteer: Activities Support, Easingwold
Volunteer: Volunteer Co-ordinator, various places in North Yorkshire
Volunteer: Volunteer Supporter, various places in North Yorkshire
Volunteer: Dementia Advisers, North & North East Lincolnshire
Volunteer: Singing for the Brain Group Leader, Ryedale
Volunteer: Singing for the Brain Supporter, Scarborough or Ryedale
Volunteer: Day Centre Supporter, Northallerton
Volunteer: Day Centre Supporter, near Thirsk
Volunteer: Day Centre Support, Richmond
Volunteer: Administration support, Wakefield
Volunteer: Dementia Cafe, Leeds
Volunteer: Day Centre, Armley, Leeds 12
Volunteer: Memory cafes and activity groups, Scunthorpe, Brigg and Crowle
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Hunmanby
Volunteer: Singing for the Brain Supporter, Harrogate
Volunteer: Fundraiser, Skipton
Volunteer: Information Support Volunteers, Wakefield & Five Towns
Volunteer: Information Support, Scarborough, Whitby & Ryedale
Volunteer: Fundraising Group Leader Leeds.
Volunteer: Fundraising Group Leader Bradford.
Volunteer: Fundraising Group Leader Wakefield and Five Towns.
Volunteer: Dementia Support Groups, Wakefield and Five Towns.
Volunteer: Memory cafes, East Riding of Yorkshire
Volunteer: Community fundraising co-ordinator, North & North-East Lincolnshire
Volunteer: Driver, Scarborough, Whitby, Ryedale
Volunteer: Community Fundraising Coordinator, Richmond
Volunteer: Fundraiser, Harrogate
Volunteer: Fundraiser, Scarborough, Whitby or Ryedale
Volunteer: Fundraiser, Richmond
Volunteer: Fundraising Ambassador, North Yorkshire (flexible locations)
Volunteer: Memory Cafe, Filey
Volunteer: Befriender, Scarborough, Whitby, Ryedale area
Volunteer: Fundraising Ambassador, North & North-East Lincolnshire
Volunteer: information support, Barnsley
Volunteer: Community Fundraising Administration Support Volunteer,
Volunteer: Singers/Musicians Wakefield and Five Towns
Volunteer Driver, Bradford.
Volunteer:Administration support, North and North East Lincolnshire


If you go to this link, & click on your region, there should be a Volunteer box in the right hand column. So there's clearly a lot of opportunity for all sorts of help, but in terms of outreach into people's homes, it looks as though the only options in my area are for Befrienders and Drivers as volunteers - I guess everything else would be (rightly) covered by staff..

I know that the initial assessment for both the end user and the befriender is quite rigorous and done by a member of AS staff. It's really important to try and match people up properly as well as conducting proper checks and training.