hi my girlfriend is finding it extremely difficult coping with her mum following her around, even if its just to take a cup to the kitchen she will follow. any ideas on how to manage would be great
help with being followed around
- Thread starter danknight72
- Start date
Hi Danknight
Sorry to hear your girlfriend's mum is showing signs which might indicate the start of AD. The following round stuff - yes, this can be how it starts, a sort of separation anxiety like toddlers who follow mum around. But for them you can use stairgates etc but not for the elderly. Well you could I suppose, but don't think it would be advisable as it would look like you are infantilising her.
My mum, in the early stages, would follow my dad everywhere - down the garden, upstairs, into the kitchen (which was hazardous as their kitchen is very tiny). Has your girlfriend's mum been given a diagnosis of Alzheimers yet? If not, try to get one asap as we delayed it for 3 years, mainly because the GP kept putting it down to 'old age' by which time mum was too far gone for Aricept and even if she hadn't been, I understand Aricept is not very effective unless it can be given at the full dose of 23mg but the person has to be over 120lbs for that. My mum, bless her, is all of about 95lbs soaking wet! So for her it was 10mg - pretty useless really and now she's off it.
Do please try to get the lady diagnosed soon. There are drugs, including Aricept, which can delay/slow down the development of this awful disease.
LG x
Sorry to hear your girlfriend's mum is showing signs which might indicate the start of AD. The following round stuff - yes, this can be how it starts, a sort of separation anxiety like toddlers who follow mum around. But for them you can use stairgates etc but not for the elderly. Well you could I suppose, but don't think it would be advisable as it would look like you are infantilising her.
My mum, in the early stages, would follow my dad everywhere - down the garden, upstairs, into the kitchen (which was hazardous as their kitchen is very tiny). Has your girlfriend's mum been given a diagnosis of Alzheimers yet? If not, try to get one asap as we delayed it for 3 years, mainly because the GP kept putting it down to 'old age' by which time mum was too far gone for Aricept and even if she hadn't been, I understand Aricept is not very effective unless it can be given at the full dose of 23mg but the person has to be over 120lbs for that. My mum, bless her, is all of about 95lbs soaking wet! So for her it was 10mg - pretty useless really and now she's off it.
Do please try to get the lady diagnosed soon. There are drugs, including Aricept, which can delay/slow down the development of this awful disease.
LG x
My late husband had a dementia and he used to follow me around everywhere. Most of the time I was alright about it but sometimes it used to really get to me, especially if I wanted the loo!!
I dealt with it by accepting that this is what he needed to do for whatever reason. I did actually believe that he needed to feel the 'contact'. I also realised that I needed breaks and arranged for sitters to come and be with him which meant that he got a change of face and was with people who could take a fresh interest in him. He did like this one-to-one attention. I got some space.
Love
I dealt with it by accepting that this is what he needed to do for whatever reason. I did actually believe that he needed to feel the 'contact'. I also realised that I needed breaks and arranged for sitters to come and be with him which meant that he got a change of face and was with people who could take a fresh interest in him. He did like this one-to-one attention. I got some space.
Love
As said, it's separation anxiety, just like a small child will cling on to mum because they are lost in a frightening world without her.
I don;t think there's much that can be done other than accepting it. Forcing a separation is impractical and likely to cause a lot of distress, which is probably going to be more difficult to deal with than being followed around
I guess your friend could ask for her mum to be able to go to something like daycare to at least give her a break, but whether her mum would be able to 'attach' to someone else or just get upset at being away from her daughte ris another question.
I don;t think there's much that can be done other than accepting it. Forcing a separation is impractical and likely to cause a lot of distress, which is probably going to be more difficult to deal with than being followed around
I guess your friend could ask for her mum to be able to go to something like daycare to at least give her a break, but whether her mum would be able to 'attach' to someone else or just get upset at being away from her daughte ris another question.
My mum did the same with my dad and it used to annoy him but he had to accept it.
One way he found it easier in the kitchen was to sit her in a chair so she could still him and wasnt standing there hovering next to him whilst cooking. This obviously is only practical if you have the space. Luckily my parents have a dinning room linked to the kitchen so it worked.
Hope this helps now or in the future.
One way he found it easier in the kitchen was to sit her in a chair so she could still him and wasnt standing there hovering next to him whilst cooking. This obviously is only practical if you have the space. Luckily my parents have a dinning room linked to the kitchen so it worked.
Hope this helps now or in the future.
My husband follows me around everywhere too, I try to be patient but to be honest, the kitchen has always been my domain and I can't be doing with him in there. I try to involve him in something though, like stirring the gravy 
My husband followed me constantly and he was never more than a foot away from me. The bathroom was the only place I could go because I ran there and closed and locked the door before he caught up with me. I had to carry on a conversation through the door but at least I did what I had to do without an audience. I don't think there is a way of getting around this. It is a case of security for them and to tell them to stop would just make matters worse.
jay
jay
