I am wondering whether this would help my parents in law find they way around the bewildering world of dementia. What is your experience?
Does anyone have experience of "befriending" schemes?
- Thread starter CatherineMary
- Start date
Hello CatherineMary,
I organised a volunteer befriender, from, I think Age Concern ( now Age UK) to go and visit my mother in her nursing home. The idea was that this would provide company and a little stimulation as I asked the befriender to read to my mother if possible. Unfortunately it didn't really work out. My mother had no idea who the befriender was and kept her eyes tightly shut for the encounter, refusing to speak or acknowledge her presence, so the poor lady gave up, saying she thought her time might be better appreciated elsewhere.
I'm not saying it wouldn't work for your parents, but are they in agreement? What would you want the befriender to do?
I organised a volunteer befriender, from, I think Age Concern ( now Age UK) to go and visit my mother in her nursing home. The idea was that this would provide company and a little stimulation as I asked the befriender to read to my mother if possible. Unfortunately it didn't really work out. My mother had no idea who the befriender was and kept her eyes tightly shut for the encounter, refusing to speak or acknowledge her presence, so the poor lady gave up, saying she thought her time might be better appreciated elsewhere.
I'm not saying it wouldn't work for your parents, but are they in agreement? What would you want the befriender to do?
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Hi CatherineMary
My Mum has a lady from the befriending scheme, the recommendation came from the Alzheimer's Society. The lady either sometimes just sits & talk to her in her house or takes her out to a "Well-being cafe".
Mum does not have a clue where she is from & forgets the lady's name, however, Mum does enjoy her company.
Hope this helps.
Limafoxtrot
My Mum has a lady from the befriending scheme, the recommendation came from the Alzheimer's Society. The lady either sometimes just sits & talk to her in her house or takes her out to a "Well-being cafe".
Mum does not have a clue where she is from & forgets the lady's name, however, Mum does enjoy her company.
Hope this helps.
Limafoxtrot
Similar to Deborah's expereince, I am afraid. My m-i-l would not allow them into her house. She had accepted carers coming by at that time, but seemed to think unknown friends with no 'job' quite scary.
befriending question
I was wondering more about befriending my frail and elderly mother in law who is my father in law's main carer. Do they befriend the person or the family?
I was wondering more about befriending my frail and elderly mother in law who is my father in law's main carer. Do they befriend the person or the family?
My mother had what we call here a "Friendly Visitor". My mother was in the retirement home then. They would go for drives and walks, the lady would take Mum to her home and they would sit in her garden. It went on for about a year until the woman had to stop due to family concerns. She was a lovely woman and I call her about once a year just to keep in touch.
I would like to organise this for my mum in her nursing home if I could. Is there a fee for Age UK to do it, or do you make a donation? I did just have look on the website but it doesn't say. Also the local Age UK centres are quite a way from where we are, does that matter? I guess I should call them and find out! It just sounds nice to have someone else visit my mum and take her out for a cup of tea, as she only has me to visit and my aunt occasionally, as no one else in our family bothers
It just sounds nice to have someone else visit my mum and take her out for a cup of tea, as she only has me to visit and my aunt occasionally, as no one else in our family bothers 
They usually befriend the person, have you contacted your local carers support in your area thy might be able to suggest something, there are usually leaflets about them in GP waiting rooms or libraries,
Jeany x
Befriending Scheme
Yes the doctors usually have information but I got the info from then alzhimers society, maybe you could give your local branch a call.
Yes the doctors usually have information but I got the info from then alzhimers society, maybe you could give your local branch a call.
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in our area there is a scheme funded by the Local Authority SS Dept which is part of a national association of 'shared care' or 'family based care'. This type of one to one help worked really well for my Mum, she would not consider a day centre type of service yet she was really lonely, especially during the week when the family were all at work.
Mum had to be assessed by SS to access the service, and we had to pay for the 3 hrs a week, but the worker took Mum out socially, for walks, to a cafe, drive around countryside and it was a real help.
I think that one to one schemes are very helpful for people with dementia, provided they will accept the person and go with them, it certainly is able to be tailored to meet the interests and needs of an each persons.
Mum had to be assessed by SS to access the service, and we had to pay for the 3 hrs a week, but the worker took Mum out socially, for walks, to a cafe, drive around countryside and it was a real help.
I think that one to one schemes are very helpful for people with dementia, provided they will accept the person and go with them, it certainly is able to be tailored to meet the interests and needs of an each persons.
Hi Jeaney, the advantage of the shared care/family based care schemes is that they work with a family, in the family home doing whatever helps most.
Our local Alzheimer's branch of North Somerset has started up a befriending service. They are looking for people to be a friend, not too sure if its to support the person with Dementia, or their carer.
I think it has been funded for the year, then I suppose they will review it .
Love Sonia xxx
I think it has been funded for the year, then I suppose they will review it .
Love Sonia xxx
befriender
yes you are right, it is my MIL who needs the support,really. I don't think he'd take kindly to the idea at the moment.
yes you are right, it is my MIL who needs the support,really. I don't think he'd take kindly to the idea at the moment.
Our local AS branch runs a scheme too . The befriender takes on the person with dementia, thus allowing the carer to have a break. You are encouraged to take the person out of the house if possible - to a garden centre, a cafe, dog-walking or something like that for a couple of hours, once a week.
The guidelines are quite strict though - no personal care (toileting etc), or taking them to appointments, stuff like that.
What happens if toileting is required when you're at the garden centre, cafe, or walking the dog? Is that kind of toileting allowed? If so, what's the cross-over line?
I would imagine that the idea is that this is a scheme for people who don't require that level of assistance (i.e. toileting). There are an awful lot of people who have dementia but don't need that assistance (and a fair number who don't have dementia but do, although obviously not relevant to this sort of scheme).
Hiya Catherine Mary - I work for a council for voluntary services (CVS) and we run a volunteer based befriending scheme where all the volunteers have training in basics and are CRB checked etc - then matched with clients. They offer weekly telephone befriending and/ or visits. We also run a "Dustbusters" service which is essentially a low cost paid service where the client is matched with someone who has been CRB checked etc and although in theory the original idea is to clean - some have "Dustbusters" who take them shopping or out for coffee or spend much of the time socially with the client - it all depends on what is agreed.
There is also a local service run by a group of churches called the Good Neighbours scheme and they provide company etc for isolated or housebound people within the area.
The Methodist Care home group also have started running a form of befriending service which I think is also free - it is gradually being rolled out to different areas.
You don't give your location but if you would like to pm me - very happy to use my work links/ databases to look and see what is available in your area if that would be helpful?
If not - the easiest route would probably be to contact your nearest volunteer centre and they should be able to tell you some of the above. Our VC is part of the main organisation so we share data/info but not all do.
As said though- very happy to help if you pm me a location.
Celia
There is also a local service run by a group of churches called the Good Neighbours scheme and they provide company etc for isolated or housebound people within the area.
The Methodist Care home group also have started running a form of befriending service which I think is also free - it is gradually being rolled out to different areas.
You don't give your location but if you would like to pm me - very happy to use my work links/ databases to look and see what is available in your area if that would be helpful?
If not - the easiest route would probably be to contact your nearest volunteer centre and they should be able to tell you some of the above. Our VC is part of the main organisation so we share data/info but not all do.
As said though- very happy to help if you pm me a location.
Celia
