Why aren't there care homes for people who are slightly younger?

[JoshuaTree]

I've been looking at homes today.
It's so depressing, even in the loveliest ones, they have people there who are 10-20years older than Mum (she is 69). Some were typically linned with chairs occupied with sleeping elderly.
Another very nice and welcomng home, small and personal, still however was mainly occupied with older people than my Mum....I know, I know...That's what is to be expected in homes, but I'm gutted to be honest. She will hate it as she has always been young at heart

 

[danny]

Hi Joshua Tree , your problem is going to become more frequent due to the numbers of younger people with dementia increasing. We have quite a number of people under 70 attending day care and we have to do a lot of organising and planning to provide these people with age appropriate activities and to give them their own space away from the older guests.

Relatives are always asking if we can provide over night respite or if we know of any where where younger people are catered for, sadly, I know of none and many end up in homes full of older people which is not really the ideal place.

Lets hope that this problem is looked at by care providers because it really is a need that needs addressing.

In the meantime I wish you luck in your search.

 

[JoshuaTree]

Thanks danny..
I spoke with a carehome manager who has thought of starting one up but unfortunately if she ever does it won't be in time for my mum

 

[sallyc]

Hi Joshus Tree

When we were looking for care homes for Grandad, we looked at a lovely home decribed as a "care village". They had a completely separate unit for young onset dementia patients, and would also accept "young at heart" older residents in there. They even considered my Grandad (then 87) for that unit because he wasn't as bad as most in their main dementia unit.

This was the only home we found like this, and it was in Essex.

So there are some out there, but very few and far between.

Having said that, the CH we chose for Grandad, he ended up in their dementia unit. He's 90 this year but physically extremely fit and healthy - he can easily lift my 5 year old, and will even lift my 9 year old up!!!! It's a small unit with only 12 beds, and 3 carers on most of the time. And it's great. He's stimulated as much as he needs. They take him out to the shop to collect the newspapers. They have regular outings to the seaside, local gardens, garden centres. They usually go out at least once, often twice, a month for outings and have lovely gardens.

That's in suffolk, but I could PM you the organisation it's owned by as I know they have homes all over the country. They are all completely different, so you'd have to see if there are any local, and visit them to see. But Grandad's CH in particular, and another of theirs that we visited, we were really impressed with. We actually can't really fault Grandad's.

There are good homes out there. And I really hope you can find something suitable. We looked at loads and loads before we chose where he is now. They had a waiting list and we ended up starting with him somewhere else for 6 months until we got a place for himwhere we wanted.

People warned us not to move him, but after a few months he's settled brilliantly.

 

[piedwarbler]

Mum looked at a Sue Ryder home which caters for people with neuro issues. She was too old to get in at 78, you have to be between 18 and 65. Don't think this helps you, but it may help someone else on the forum.

Hope you find somewhere you like xx

 

[TinaT]

Most of the people in my husband's care home are nearly 30 years older than himself. The music played is usually way before our generation and many of the 'remembering' activities are about times gone by long before we were born. The scenario of sleeping in chairs around a loud, unwatched TV is also very familiar territory

I think all this upset myself far more than my husband with the exception of the loud TV noise which I hated on his behalf because I knew it added to his own agitation.. He has always been a loner and he naturally gravitated to the manager of the home. The manager, also male, was some 9 years younger than himself and Ken my husband spent most of his mornings in the office 'helping' the manager. I took him out most afternoons myself to give him some stiumulation. In this way he got what company he needed at that time.

He is now quite incapable and has no comprehension of where he is or who he is with.

Like yourself at the time I was looking for a care home to suit my husband's age group I found none at all. Sadly it didn't take more than a year or so before his condition deteriorated to the point where it didn't matter a jot how old others around him were.

If you visited my husband's care home you would no doubt consider him to be one of the elderly who sit around asleep for most of the day. I don't think it is the age of the residents which really matters but rather the level of stimulation suited to each individual and the stage of the disease they are at which is important.

Best wishes TinaT

 

[JoshuaTree]

To Be honest, there won't be any homes that I like. I will never like them but I have no choice.
Sallyc...I would like to know the organisation, any reccommendations are welcome. I am running out of time. I already have a meeting for an assessment to be done by the manager of the most decent one we've seen.

 

[kazza73]

This is a problem we have encountered, in fact many homes we looked at actually don't accept under 65s (mum will be 64 tomorrow). Even those that do accept younger people (a couple we've found take from 55) tend to be full of people 20+ years older than mum, if they didn't they would have far fewer residents and thus make a lot less money!

Sadly (or perhaps I should say thankfully !?) mum is now at the stage in the dementia journey where she is pretty much unaware of the people or environment around her so our main priority when looking at homes is the care she will receive. The ages of other residents will be irrelevant to mum.

I have heard of a few young onset homes, sadly there are not many and all were too far away to be an option for us.
I hope you manage to find somewhere suitable.
Karen x

 

[JoshuaTree]

Thank you TinaT and Kazza for your honest accounts and reassurance.

 

[Katrine]

Catering for younger and older residents in the same CH

A local CH I visited has two wings, one for elderly frail residents and one for people with dementia. They don't describe the dementia wing as EMI because the residents are not all elderly. Ages are from mid 60's upwards but they said they have had residents in their 50's.

The manager said that because the residents of that wing are usually younger (than the elderly frail) they are more lively. Those that are able to will go on escorted visits to the pub and the shops, walking down into the town which is about half a mile away. Outings in the minibus apparently include much singing and some moderate drinking. You can see I fell for the glowing account the manager gave! These more lively residents do not see themselves as pensioners, or elderly. Of course some are older and some are not able to participate in social activities because of challenging behaviour or physical deterioration.

I liked the fact that the staff very clearly saw that wing as providing a lively environment for those who wanted this. Residents can wander around at night, watch TV, ask for a snack or a drink; they don't have to be tucked up in bed at a certain time, whereas the frail residents have a much more structured routine.

The noise level of general chat seemed to me to be normal rather than hushed, whereas the quiet wing had more the feeling of a gentleman's club or rural hotel. [EMI] residents who prefer peace and quiet go to this other wing when they want to.

When I took MIL there for her one and only day care visit, this happened in the quiet wing. She told me it was boring because the place was full of old people, and some of them were hardly able to walk around "look at that poor old dear, with her sticks" They're not really up to my intellectual level she said. I know what she meant - she wanted lively chat and constant activity - not a nice sit down in an easy chair. "Ooh, isn't it nice here, it's just like a hotel," followed by, "what are we waiting for, are we waiting for something? Let's not bother and just go home shall we?"

I did think she would have enjoyed meeting some younger people, but she might have reacted badly to other people being 'odd'. It's hard enough maintaining a grip on normality without having to deal with dementia in others. I think this is the real reason she resists all such activities. She's 81, BTW, but doesn't think of herself as old, and always prefers the company of young people.

 

[Chris Edgerton]

Renaissance workers and material stuck in the war days

Most of the people in my husband's care home are nearly 30 years older than himself. The music played is usually way before our generation and many of the 'remembering' activities are about times gone by long before we were born. The scenario of sleeping in chairs around a loud, unwatched TV is also very familiar territory

I think all this upset myself far more than my husband with the exception of the loud TV noise which I hated on his behalf because I knew it added to his own agitation.. He has always been a loner and he naturally gravitated to the manager of the home. The manager, also male, was some 9 years younger than himself and Ken my husband spent most of his mornings in the office 'helping' the manager. I took him out most afternoons myself to give him some stiumulation. In this way he got what company he needed at that time.

He is now quite incapable and has no comprehension of where he is or who he is with.

Like yourself at the time I was looking for a care home to suit my husband's age group I found none at all. Sadly it didn't take more than a year or so before his condition deteriorated to the point where it didn't matter a jot how old others around him were.

If you visited my husband's care home you would no doubt consider him to be one of the elderly who sit around asleep for most of the day. I don't think it is the age of the residents which really matters but rather the level of stimulation suited to each individual and the stage of the disease they are at which is important.

Best wishes TinaT

Renaissance workers and material stuck in the war days for most care workers from their half day course.
I believe some care homes are developing separate wings for young people with dementia. But as we see the advanced stage of dementia is not age related, and so a wide mix of ages, and yes some would be the mothers or daughters on the same unit.
Stimulation and recognising any ability is still very disappointing in care / nursing homes.
Although my mother has advanced dementia, I had to demonstrate to care workers, nurses that my mother on most days could hold a cup and put the cup to her lips and drink. End the feeding cup which deskills the person - requires sucking to get drink -destroys swallowing skills for food.

 

[Aasha]

Care homes for younger people

My Husband , has been in his care home for a week now , when I was looking for a home for him I was horrified to see how old the people where , he is a very young 72 and it broke my heart to leave him there with all these old people who could be his parents , as more and more people are being diagnosed at a younger age surley someone could do something about opening a home for people like him , it is more like an old peoples home than an EMI home , very sad for me , although he has settled and seems happy enough , I wish I was . If anyone knows of a home for younger people in the Liverpool area I would dearly like to know . Aasha .

 

[catsalsus]

Hi

Have you looked into Abbeyfield? We have a fantastic one in our village. My mum goes to the day centre each day. They have separate units where people who can look after themselves stay and they can then progress into the care home when it becomes necessary. I have a feeling, but don't quote me, that you can stay there from the age of 50.

Good luck with your search.

 

[jodirednose]

Care homes

I am also looking for somewhere for my aunty to stay/live. She is 70 and mobile but at night she bangs and i mean bangs on the neighbours door at like 1am 3am so she needs night care. I, like you, looked at residential homes but she is too young for that. So i am now looking at villages but they are expensive! Today i called a care place to see about night-time care. It seems like the best answer, they can do just night time care or 24 hour care in their own home. They help with washing, cleaning all the normal running of the home things. This i thought was the cheapest option as when i phoned they said it was £75 for 24hours but then when you look at travel costs, agency fees etc it gets expensive, i'm meeting some more agencies next week im hoping they will be a bit cheaper.

I've been looking at homes today.
It's so depressing, even in the loveliest ones, they have people there who are 10-20years older than Mum (she is 69). Some were typically linned with chairs occupied with sleeping elderly.
Another very nice and welcomng home, small and personal, still however was mainly occupied with older people than my Mum....I know, I know...That's what is to be expected in homes, but I'm gutted to be honest. She will hate it as she has always been young at heart

 

[JoshuaTree]

catsalsus, thank you for suggesting Abbeyfield. There are a few in my area, a little further out than I'd like but worth checking out.
Mum is moving to a care home in the next village in two weeks. It is small, with a lovely big garden. Her room is infact 3 small rooms (living room, bathroom, bedroom) the best we've seen so far, but I will continue to search, just incase there is anything worth travelling further out for.

 

[Kismet]

A couple of good examples

My mum went in to a nursing home aged 59 so I can empathise pretty well. I thought that she would simply never in a million years settle for an elderly home, where tea dances and wartime music were the main entertainment. I searched high and low considering long commutes to make her happy. We found this place in Hampshire MODERATOR NOTE: Name of care home removed as per terms and conditions which I know is much to faraway for you, but it was an ideal place specialising in younger people. There was also an excellent place in Coventry called MODERATOR NOTE: Name of care home removed as per terms and conditionswhich was all young people. They went out on trips together, cinema, shopping and the pub etc.

However, in the end mum deteriorated so rapidly that she had no awareness of where she was anyway. She was hospitalised first....and by that stage, all she really needed were good, kind professional carers. My advice would be to really focus on the staff...ask how long they've been there and if they enjoy their job. We were lucky and found the right place where the staff were very dedicated. I'd ask to meet the manager as that is normally a good sign if you like them....and if the staff like the manager!
The other thing to remember is that in my experience, younger care homes are often not nursing homes so are not able to care for people to the end. You don't want to have to worry about moving a parent just as they are getting very ill.

This is definitely one of the hardest times. It feels like the beginning of farewell. However, it does slowly get easier.

 

[gill dix]

Hope ahead.

I was talking to the director of the Wilf Ward trust recently. We were discussing the incidence of dementia in those with Downs Syndrome/Learning Difficulties. They are hoping to open a home just for people with these difficulties which i thought was wonderful . The British legion have units for the younger residents but of course you ave to have some Armed Forces commitment.
The care home my father is in has one young resident and she was just so out of place. None of the activities appealed to her or the conversations. You are right there should eb something but I guess it is all down to numbers and budgets! Good luck in your search.

 

[Kismet]

Another place that may be able to help

Obviously we are not allowed to name care homes. Not sure whether this applies to charities but I discovered a little too late for us...this fantastic organisation that specialised in younger people for Oxfordshire. This now appears to offer advice across the country and they are looking to build 'younger homes'. They are called Youngdementiauk. May be worth giving them a try.

 

[allend100]

Mum is 69 and we did the first spell of respite last year (68) while her partner was in hospital. It was all a bit of a rush to sort out so the home was a bit further away from me than I would have liked but I felt it had the best one for her out of all the places I saw (I went to about 6 or 7) All I could think was that Mum isn’t an old lady but as far as I know there is nowhere specifically for younger people. At 65 mum was no longer allowed to go to the young people with dementia group, you kind of end up in the wilderness for a few years while your parents do get old! Anyway she was the youngest in the home, the next youngest was 75 however the able minded and able bodied soon took her under their wings. We are trying respite again in a couple of weeks. I’ve looked at another 5 or 6 homes and I’ve found somewhere a bit closer to home. I think she will be the youngest again but I’m not so worried this time. Fingers crossed she settles as well as she did before!!.

 

[sue38]

Obviously we are not allowed to name care homes.

Hi Kismet,

Under the rules of TP we don't allow the naming of care homes or organisations on the forum. Please have a look at this section from the Terms and Conditions on naming of organisations.