care plan

[Redver]

My mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers after she was found wandering in the early hours of the morning. I have spent all of the holidays visiting her but I go back to work next week . The consultant thinks she has had it for about 2 years. At the moment she is in hospital which she hates. The other patients appear to be a lot more advanced than my mum and she wants to go home. The hospital want to put into place a care plan to support mum but I am worried that it will take too long. I am getting told it could take anything from a few weeks to a few months. This is causing me a great deal of distress because my mum looks so upset when I visit it her. I work full time and I am not in any financial position to give up work.

Can anyone give me advice on what to do next? Or have any knowledge of how long we could be waiting for a care plan to be put in place. My mum would be under Liverpool City Council.

So sorry it sounds like I am rambling but I feel so exhausted and it is only early days.

Thank you in anticipation.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Hello Redver, welcome to Talking Point,
I'm really sorry to hear about your mum and all the worry this is causing you.

The main thing to think about is whether the care plan is in place before your mother is discharged. The hospital will be pressing to discharge your mum as quickly as possible but they shouldn't do this until a care plan is in place and up and running. You should be involved in discussing what your mum's needs are.

I expect Social Services will crank into action after the New Year's holiday.
I have no knowledge of the Liverpool area, but if anyone has specific information about them, please PM Redver.

I'm just posting a link to one of the AS factsheets, which may be helpful, but there are others too that you might want to look at. http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=122

Please keep posting and tell us how things go.

 

[Redver]

Thank you so much for your quick reply. I am crying as I type it's such a sad time, so it's good to know there are people out there to offer support. I will look up the thread you have given me.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sorry you are feeling blue, Redver.
Your mum needs to be safe when she is discharged, so unless she is self-funding, the Social Services will have to think about how this can be achieved.
Take care of yourself, you are important too!

 

[rajahh]

was your Mum showing any signs before her wandering. I just wonder if it is an underlying infection which has caused her to wander/ I am sure the hospital have checked her out but it is a thought.

For your peace of mind you are going to have to be patient while a good care package is put in place. If the hospital need the bed it will be done quite quickly I am sure.

While it is upsetting to see your Mum distressed it surely is better to see that than to be combing the streets looking for her.

Jeannette

 

[choccy]

My Dads care package took 3 months to sort out, it was a very stressful time for everyone. However, you must remember, although your mum is sad and wants to go home, she is in a safe place and being looked after.
People on TP helped me through this stage by pointing out to me 'you'd never forgive yourself if Dad was sent home without a care package and something awful happened'.

I was kind of kidding myself that Dad could get better at that point.
Anyway, try not to worry, social services can be painfully slow, I hope they are quicker for you and your mum. X

 

[Redver]

Thank you all for your comments. The hospital did find an infection and she is receiving treatment for that, they mentioned that the infection could have caused the wandering.
I will keep my chin up and fingers crossed. It's really good to have this site, both for advice and just to get things off your chest. Thanks again and I will keep you posted about progress.

 

[Katrine]

If it is any consolation Redver, I do not think that the unhappiness about being in hospital is cumulative for the person with dementia. For the family, it is a growing misery and stress. For that person it is only today, and tomorrow is only today. I hope that makes sense. This is what we found with MIL last year who was in hospital for a month. She wasn't happy, but had no conception of the time that was passing. And on the evening of her return home, "hospital, what hospital?"

 

[thatwoman]

Hi Redver,

Welcome to TP from me too! I just wanted to agree with Katrine. Dad was in hospital for 3 months before he was able to move into a Nursing Home, and although he was unhappy about being there, he had forgotten all about it within days. He had to stay so long because he was very ill, and was not expected to survive. (That was nearly 2 years ago, and he is still going strong!) When the hospital decided that he would be discharged, they managed to arrange a Best Interests Meeting to discuss what his needs were and then move him into a Nursing Home in under a week! While I was waiting for the meeting, I'd thought that we would be likely to be told he needed EMI Nursing care, so I'd gone to look at homes on my own initiative. The home we liked had one bed available and the Manager agreed to hold it for us until the meeting.

It sounds as though your Mum may not be at that stage yet. Do you think she'll cope with carers coming in, or do you think she'd be better in a residential setting? I'd speak to the local Alzheimers Society to find out what's available. We're over the water in Wirral, but I think there is a group in Liverpool. One of the positives I found when Dad became ill, was the kindness of people wherever I went for help. The lady from Alzheimers Society who helped me has left now, but she was so supportive when I didn't know where to turn. I work full-time too, so she would phone me in the evening to talk things through. Our CPN (community psychiatric nurse) was very good at keeping me informed while Dad was still at home, and she helped with practical things like getting Attendance Allowance, and talking to him about what help he might need. (She wasn't a miracle worker, so she didn't get him to accept any help, and that's how he ended up in hospital. But Dad has Vascular Dementia and just refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him.)

Keep posting. You'll get lots of advice on here, and there is always someone who has experience of what you're going through. And it's not all doom and gloom either. I'm sorry that you're feeling so low at the moment, but that's to be expected if the diagnosis has come as a shock. Get the care plan put into place, and then see how you feel. Many people have been able to keep their relatives at home, and many of us who have been unable to do that, have still got good relationships with our loved ones in their nursing homes. Once you accept that you can't change things, then you learn to make the best of the situation. My Dad doesn't always know who I am, but he knows I'm always there for him and is (usually!) pleased to see me. He can't stand up and is incontinent, so I could not deal with that. I used to feel guilty, but now I accept that I'm doing the best that I can do for him. Once I'd got rid of the guilt, I felt a lot better about things.

Hope it all works out for you soon,

Sue