difficult time

[eastiesgir]

just caught up with this thread. That is absolutly disgracful what happened to Dave, I think you done the right thing by having a go at the staff, and I do hope you manage to put in an official complaint.
Hopefully it won't happen again to him or anyone else for that matter.
z

 

[BeckyJan]

I have just caught up with your Thread, Lyn. Your experiences in the hospital with Dave remind me of mine with my D in the hospital too. However from memory I do not think our treatment was as bad as Dave's/yours.

I think you are wonderful and this is what is meant by carers deserving medals .

On the practical/financial side - I am certain your Dave qualifies for CHC (I rarely say that). IF it is refused please keep all the documentation, ask for copies regarding the decision as I am sure it will be granted on an appeal if not immediately. Keep posting here about how your Dave is and what his needs are - that is a record in itself.

Take care.

 

[donkey]

thankyou for all your support,dave is having anouther continuing care assesment but i dont no when. social worker still hasnt contacted care home we want dave to go too, but the hospital has . dave is been fitted with a convene today, when they can fit him in that is ? he will probably go to comunity ward today to wait for discharge and heaven nos when that could be . daves bed was dry today and i let the 2 nurses wash snd get him up they used a standing hoist which was very good causing dave minimal disstress. the way they washed and dressed him i was very impressed and they kept his dignity at all times. after looking through daves notes yesterday they had written he didnt need any assisstance with moving eating standing etc i soon got that changed.. when hes moved i will have to go through the whole explanation prossess again, with every new shift that comes to work, each time theres a ward round comes anouthe docter, and yesterday when having a conversation with one docter he started yawning, i asked if i was keeping him up

 

[donkey]

after many phone calls today with social services they are trying to put dave in a home that will not meet his phycological or emotional needs. basicaly it meets there needs in that it falls into there financial funding. they are not interested in where we want dave to go or that his young children need to be near him, and that he wants to be near us. they have refused to take him on the comunity ward and i dont no why but i suspect because he will be there for along time and they get fined if hes bed blocking. im holding firm but im caving in with the exuaustion of it all what on earth can i do ive phoned the help line for advise which was good but this could go on for weeks or months and all the time dave is detereating before our eyes, i havnt been able to go tonight so daughter has gone instead im sure many of you have gone through all this, can you please advise me, i dont no what to do any more xx

 

[Grannie G]

Oh heck Lyn I wish I could advise you but I really don`t know where you go from here. All I can suggest is you ask for a best interests meeting involving everyone associated with Dave`s care.

 

[donkey]

dave is still in hospital very dissressed and he could be there a while yet. had continuing care assessment and he meets criterea so its gone to the PCT dont no how long this can take. the only thing dave comunicates to me is kill me shoot me and hes put his hands round his neck, i cant do anything to help him appart from trying to reasure him but this dosnt work, im going to ask again for some diazapam to help calm him but they dont seem to listen x

 

[BeckyJan]

I am sorry to hear that Dave is still distressed - what a nightmare for you.

When you say 'they do not seem to listen' - have you spoken to the Consultant in charge of Dave's ward? If not please ask for an appointment asap; you may have to ring the secretary but the Ward staff should give you the telephone number.

I did this when my husband was having a bad time in hospital and it did help to get through to the guy in charge.

Otherwise call in PALS - there should be a contact in the hospital. They may be able to help you, and you need all you can get.

Pleased about the CHC although its sad that Dave needs it. The PCT will now be financially responsible for Dave's care so you should be able to get him to a specialised unit. I do hope there is a place for him which is ideal for you too.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Lyn

I cannot bear the thoughts of what is going on in Dave`s mind and how you feel so helpless.
I really do believe it is better for him to be under sedation than full of such fear and would want to discuss this with the consultant.
The proiority should be to relieve his suffering.

 

[donkey]

i see the consaltant every day and he is very understanding but there is little he can do. todaay he has prescribed diazapam 3 times aday and a laxative to help him go. i showered dave today shaved and washed hair and then used the standing hoist myself to get him to his chair. i use hoists where i work and new more about it than the nurse this morning. im glad i did because dave seemed more relaxed me doing it, its a standing hoist and easy to use, the phisio came to see if she could help and we both tried to assist dave to stand and he did but then shoock violently when trying to move to walk, we sat him down. we both agreed that even if he walked a couple of steps it was too risky as he would just fall. im so glad about the continuing care decision but it still has to be agreed by the pct and the lady whom did the assessment will keep chasing it up and i only hope they will agree to the nursing home we need dave to go too. the lady said it will be in his favour because of his age 57 and she will do all she can to help, thank you for support i need it so much now, i dont seem to no anyone on here anymore and caqnt bring myself to look at the posts its heartbreaking love to my friends xxx

 

[Jo1958]

Lyn, hi
Dave's nightmare must be so terrible to witness, I do hope that the finances are put on place quickly and Dave can be moved to the home that you are happy with.

My heart goes out to you and Dave, thinking of you and sending my support.
With kind regards from Jo

 

[donkey]

thankyou jo xxx

 

[Grannie G]

thank you for support i need it so much now, i dont seem to no anyone on here anymore

This is a very sad part of the Forum.

Some people are so taken up with caring and holding down a job, they don`t have as much time as others to post and receieve support.
So when they do manage to come for help, those they knew have often moved on and new members have taken their place.

There are still lots of long standing members here Lyn and please don`t discount the newer ones, they are as generous with their support as anyone could be. xx

 

[donkey]

thankyou sylvia, i dont go on tp enough too to keep up with all our new members i wish i had the time maybe when all this is sorted i can be of some help to others needing support. so glad your here sylvia, daft i no but ive always felt like i was talking to my mum when you helen larivy and many others were around. oh i need to grow up

 

[Grannie G]

You don`t need to worry about keeping up with new members Lyn. I was trying to say they`re all here for you.

 

[donkey]

thankyou xx

 

[donkey]

thankgoodness its monday, im hoping that this week will bring some sort of closure for us all and dave will be moved into nursing home. since starting on the diazapam he has been sort of out of it and has no interest in anyone being there hes very unresponsive. will talk too the consaltant this morning and get the lunch time one stopped. it might not be that as hes on the lowest dose but he seems like hes given up. im disapointed since the mention of continuing care i havnt heard a thing from so called supportive social worker. xx

 

[burfordthecat]

Hi Lyn

I'm still around but don't post that often on TP anymore. I am really sorry to hear about Dave and all the problems you are having with the hospital. You really have enough to deal with, without having to fight the system. I hope that this week brings some positive progress for both of you.

Thinking of you both

Love Carina x x

 

[Grannie G]

Hope today goes well for you Lyn. xx

 

[donkey]

im just going in now and just recieved text from dave saying home, all my visits consist of explaining why he cant come home and dave continually typing home or kill me , i dread going, his understanding lasts for about 5 mins my patience is running low. xx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Lyn,

I'm still around. I'm quietly around. I have just caught up with your thread and it has brought back memories of when Alan was in hospital. I had to arrange around the clock care for him in hospital as the staff couldn't cope with his needs as he really did need one-to-one. Beckyjan was right about Dave qualifying for CHC and I remember Alan's consultant advising me not to allow Alan out of the hospital until it was fully signed and sealed!!! The hospital consultant told me this because he must have known of problems that I didn't The rapidity of what is happening to your Dave is very similar to what happened to Alan and the speed of it all is so very traumatic.

I really hope that your Dave gets into a suitable nursing home, not only for him but also so that you have some support.

Thank goodness for Talking Point. We all know where to come when needed and can count on the support. I will check in daily but in the meantime send you lots of love and a (HUG).

Love