We're approaching the end of the road
- Thread starter kazza73
- Start date
Kaz, so sorry i haven't been around much these last couple of days but i am thinking of you. Your love and strength towards your mum is amazing but do let her see your emotions, and do tell her you love her. I often think people don't do this enough in care homes (never mind anywhere else), and the resident suffers because of our stiff upper lip, so do tell her. I always tell my mother now, even though until this terrible disease struck i can hardly remember verbally saying it to her!
Here for you as always my dear. xxx
Here for you as always my dear. xxx
Dear Karen
Your posts are deeply touching and poignant, and I shed tears. It was such a lovely visit to your cousin, your grandparents grave, and to know your cousin is there for you with warmth and caring must be a such a comfort, I am glad for you.
Your visit to your Mum when she managed a few words, and especially "I love you", deeply precious to you. No matter what lies ahead I hope that time with your Mum and feeling connected helps you through it.
I can't write more, at times words are inadequate, but you are in my thoughts and my heart.
Love
Loo xxx
Your posts are deeply touching and poignant, and I shed tears. It was such a lovely visit to your cousin, your grandparents grave, and to know your cousin is there for you with warmth and caring must be a such a comfort, I am glad for you.
Your visit to your Mum when she managed a few words, and especially "I love you", deeply precious to you. No matter what lies ahead I hope that time with your Mum and feeling connected helps you through it.
I can't write more, at times words are inadequate, but you are in my thoughts and my heart.
Love
Loo xxx
Dear Karen, anything that I can think of to say seems inadequate, but I wanted to say that I am following your story and thinking of you at this time xxx
Hello all you lovely people. Sorry for going AWOL. Things here have been a bit odd recently and I've been trying to get my head round it all.
After weeks of watching mum go downhill fast and thinking the end was very near and trying to come to terms with it all, things have taken a sudden turn around.
They have made some very slight adjustments to mum's medications and miraculously things have improved quite dramatically
A couple of weeks ago mum was sleeping at least 18 hrs a day, barely eating (at times having to be fed with a syringe), barely being able to speak, doubly incontinent, completely imobile, not recognising anyone etc etc.
The change in medication has resulted in mum suddenly knowing dad, recognising my sister and I as being familiar (although not actually knowing who we are), eating well (although still needing spoon fed), being aware of needing the toilet, speaking quite clearly (even being able to join in with conversations), she is still unable to walk but has started to stand up unassisted ( this has increased her falls risk considerably).
It has been quite a dramatic turn around! When dad visited her the other day he rang to give me an update, he even gave mum the phone so she could say hello (must be almost 2 years since I had a phone conversation with mum!). I visited on Thursday + took the baby with me, mum noticed the baby for the first time ever, was interacting with him and when my sister visited on Saturday mum mentioned that the baby had been to visit
It is amazing to see the change and to have a little bit of mum back. We were so close to the end + now it is as if we've gone back in time. I am of course thrilled but also my head is reeling a bit. We had all started to come to terms with losing her and sad though we were we felt thankful that mum's struggles with this illness would soon be over. Now while we are very grateful to have some more time with her we also know that at some point we are going to have to live through the hell of the past few months when she inevitably takes another down turn.
The staff are very surprised at the dramatic improvement. There has even been mention of physio to see if they can help mum regain some mobility They are monitoring things very carefully as at the moment the agitation hasn't returned + they are hoping to avoid that happening.
My fear now is that as there has been such an improvement she may be deemed fit for discharge. I think moving her now would probably bring on another downturn and the thought of her suddenly going downhill without staff around who know her and us is scary.
Also I feel very guilty and an awful daughter to say this but part of me was ready for all of this to be over and to move on with our lives, now we're back in limbo jusy waiting for the next down turn. It's a terrible thing to admit to, but I was ready to say goodbye and in a way I feel cheated. Dementia continues to mess with all our lives and mum is back to being aware of her living hell.
For just now all we can do is take things a day at a time and enjoy having quality time with mum.
This weekend I have come down with a horrid cold and chesty cough, today the 2 little ones seem to be under the weather too. Will need to give visiting mum a miss until we are germ free
Sorry if I worried you all by my silence. Was just struggling with the latest twist + turn on this roller coaster!
After weeks of watching mum go downhill fast and thinking the end was very near and trying to come to terms with it all, things have taken a sudden turn around.
They have made some very slight adjustments to mum's medications and miraculously things have improved quite dramatically
A couple of weeks ago mum was sleeping at least 18 hrs a day, barely eating (at times having to be fed with a syringe), barely being able to speak, doubly incontinent, completely imobile, not recognising anyone etc etc.
The change in medication has resulted in mum suddenly knowing dad, recognising my sister and I as being familiar (although not actually knowing who we are), eating well (although still needing spoon fed), being aware of needing the toilet, speaking quite clearly (even being able to join in with conversations), she is still unable to walk but has started to stand up unassisted ( this has increased her falls risk considerably).
It has been quite a dramatic turn around! When dad visited her the other day he rang to give me an update, he even gave mum the phone so she could say hello (must be almost 2 years since I had a phone conversation with mum!). I visited on Thursday + took the baby with me, mum noticed the baby for the first time ever, was interacting with him and when my sister visited on Saturday mum mentioned that the baby had been to visit
It is amazing to see the change and to have a little bit of mum back. We were so close to the end + now it is as if we've gone back in time. I am of course thrilled but also my head is reeling a bit. We had all started to come to terms with losing her and sad though we were we felt thankful that mum's struggles with this illness would soon be over. Now while we are very grateful to have some more time with her we also know that at some point we are going to have to live through the hell of the past few months when she inevitably takes another down turn.
The staff are very surprised at the dramatic improvement. There has even been mention of physio to see if they can help mum regain some mobility
They are monitoring things very carefully as at the moment the agitation hasn't returned + they are hoping to avoid that happening.My fear now is that as there has been such an improvement she may be deemed fit for discharge. I think moving her now would probably bring on another downturn and the thought of her suddenly going downhill without staff around who know her and us is scary.
Also I feel very guilty and an awful daughter to say this but part of me was ready for all of this to be over and to move on with our lives, now we're back in limbo jusy waiting for the next down turn. It's a terrible thing to admit to, but I was ready to say goodbye and in a way I feel cheated. Dementia continues to mess with all our lives and mum is back to being aware of her living hell.
For just now all we can do is take things a day at a time and enjoy having quality time with mum.
This weekend I have come down with a horrid cold and chesty cough, today the 2 little ones seem to be under the weather too. Will need to give visiting mum a miss until we are germ free
Sorry if I worried you all by my silence. Was just struggling with the latest twist + turn on this roller coaster!
I can understand how you feel, I am glad though that you have some of you Mum back after so long without her.
Keep your chin up
Jan
Keep your chin up
Jan
Good to hear from you Karen, hope you didn't think I was nagging, just that I had been following your story and wanted to know that you were okay. What a roller coaster it is for you. I'm pleased that you have more quality time with your mum and especially that she is aware of your baby. Hope you feel better soon, and thinking of you, take care, Jennie xxx
It's amazing how the slightest adjustments to medications can have such profound effects. Not to mention that each person can react differently.
Just enjoy your mother as she is. Any subsequent downturns may be very different and so may not have such an effect on your mother.
Just enjoy your mother as she is. Any subsequent downturns may be very different and so may not have such an effect on your mother.
I'm glad you've got a little of your mum back, but understand the rollercoaster of emotions you are going through. You just about come to terms with going down, and then without warning you're swept up, knowing that another downhill is around the next corner. It's so very hard on the emotions that some days you just want to get off.
Please don't feel guilty for the way you're feeling. I think you're right to try and take one day at a time.
I hope you and the little ones are germ-free soon.
Please don't feel guilty for the way you're feeling. I think you're right to try and take one day at a time.
I hope you and the little ones are germ-free soon.
What an unexpected development Karen, the last thing anyone would have expected.
I doubt your mother will recover all she has lost and hope you will be able to enjoy just having her back with you and more aware.
Sorry about the infections. My cough is refusing to clear so I`m now on antibiotics although the GP said they won`t be effective if it is just viral.
Hope yours and the children`s don’t last as long.
I doubt your mother will recover all she has lost and hope you will be able to enjoy just having her back with you and more aware.
Sorry about the infections. My cough is refusing to clear so I`m now on antibiotics although the GP said they won`t be effective if it is just viral.
Hope yours and the children`s don’t last as long.
wow what an amazing turn around for you all. So glad you have got a bit of your mum back and that she has got to know your baby.
Take care
x
Take care
x
