Communication advice needed

[Sylindria]

Hi Guys

Dad often struggles to talk and find the right words, some days are worse than others. When he's looking for the right words is it best to help him - some times I can fill in the missing peice - or should I let him get there by himself? He gets quite flustered, upset and frustrated when he cant finish his sentences or make himself understood but I want to try to do the best/right thing not just the easy one.

When I'm visiting if he's having a 'bad' day he'll ask us to watch DvD's with him - it removes the need for any conversation unless he starts it and he tends to get company and conversation at a level he's happy with. I know he has a lot of coping strategies for 'bad' days and I dont want to make him uncomfortable but I don't know if letting him hide this way keeps his brain active as well as keeping him in his comfort zone.

I'm kind of feeling my way through this at the moment, early steps in the journey.

All suggestions appreciated

yours sincerely

Syl

 

[jenniferpa]

Hi there.

There's a post that you might find useful.

Compassionate Communication for the memory impaired

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?9738-Finding-the-words...&p=118912#post118912

 

[ANDOVA]

what's best

I am sure the experts would say do nothing to upset him but to them he is a case load not some one you love, so do what I do take it as it comes. There is one thing does he get any outside stimulation? what we find very successful is the day centre gives my partner goes to Monday to Friday it is also some thing they llook forward to and has formed new friends amoung the clients and carers, it also gives us a talking point when we both get home as the carers there make notes in the diary.

 

[Katrine]

Do you fill in the gaps?

I know what you mean about this. Sometimes I find that my demented relatives get frustrated because the word won't come and it does help to supply with the word, but if that annoys your dad then you could respond as if the word has been said, e.g.

Dad: we used to have one of those ,er, what is it ...
You: we used to have a whistling kettle in the caravan
or whatever is appropriate.

I sometimes deflect from the specific issue in case it is seen as a 'correction' and then come back to it in a little while as if it is my observation, e.g.

MIL: Look at those, oh what are they called, those tall things, I ought to know what they are...
Me: They're lovely aren't they, and I love the little pink roses in front of them
MIL: Yes they've done me well, those roses
Me: And the buddlea behind them look lovely now they're in full bloom
MIL: Yes, the buddlea, they start off small but they soon grow...

So it's helping with the word, but not appearing to do so. This might work for you.