My Husband who is 63 has recently been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia but seems to be totally unaware of this. His problems started very suddenly after a fall in which he broke his arm. He will occasionally say that he 'has had a bump on the head' if he cant remember something. Is it normal to not know? Most of the threads seem to say that the person with dementia knows they have it - at least in the early days. He actually seems to be quite happy - the doctor tells me it is very early on in the disease so he is still able to cope with many things but I am struggling to cope with having to make all decisions and not to be able to discuss a topic, especially an important one, and have him remember what we discussed. Any tips for help on this would be greatly appreciated. I feel like a volcano with this huge anger building over the loss of our lovely life. I know I am 'lucky' that he is still able to do so much but I feel guilty that I dont always think I am so lucky. We do not currently live in the UK and trying to decide whether to return in the near future is one of the major decisions that we have to make. He seems happy in the current environment which is closely knit and my inclination is to keep him safely here for as long as possible but is this the right decision? Does anyone have experience of the way VD progresses?
Vascular Dementia
- Thread starter cyprusbreeze
- Start date
Hello Cyprusbreeze, welcome to Talking Point. I am sorry to read of your husband's recent diagnosis.
There is an AS factsheet which may help with more information
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/document_pdf.php?documentID=161
As the factsheet says, the progress can vary from person to person, no two will be exactly the same. I am sorry I don't know very much about the kind of health or social care that is available where you are now. I am sorry you are faced with this huge decision.
There is also a national helpline if you need to speak to someone in person.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200365
Please let us know how you get on, TP is here to support and listen to you when you need it.
My very best wishes to you both xx
There is an AS factsheet which may help with more information
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/document_pdf.php?documentID=161
As the factsheet says, the progress can vary from person to person, no two will be exactly the same. I am sorry I don't know very much about the kind of health or social care that is available where you are now. I am sorry you are faced with this huge decision.
There is also a national helpline if you need to speak to someone in person.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200365
Please let us know how you get on, TP is here to support and listen to you when you need it.
My very best wishes to you both xx
My mother had vascular dementia.
I am sure you are aware that the disease progresses through a series of mini strokes.Initially the sufferer thinks they have cotton wool in their head.They can become socially withdrawn as they try to keep up with everyone's conversation.
With my mother the disease progressed over 10 - 15 years.Initially it began with her just repeating herself and not joining in the conversation.Then her functioning went.She could not coordinate cooking and doing chores as well.She was able to continue basic repetitive tasks.
Eventually she could not even make cheese on toast.Thereafter she needed to be cared for.She could not get dressed without support.
If I had known what I know now I would have done he following.
1 Read as much on the condition as possible includ all the various drugs eg.Memantine.
2. Ensured we had a lasting power of attorney for both welfare and finance.(See Court of Protection web site and download forms)A Court of Protection order is expensive to obtain and yearly charges etc.Also arranged for uptodate wills.
3.Ensure you have a joint account and that he does not have separate accounts.If he does get third party access.
4.Visited the GP for regular monitoring of blood pressure and heart check ups.(Heart disease can occur )
5.Ensured the environment in which he lives could lend itself to downstairs showering and easy access toilet.If not a move may be required but seek advice.A change of environment could disorientate.
6Find out through social services about all free available services when the need arises.They do not tell you but day care is free and they should provide transportation.(Also google dementia day care)
7 Enquire through churches about lunch groups that can give a social outlet.You can both go to these.
8 Find out about dementia cafes in the area.
9.Not be scared to ask neighbours and friends for help.People wil babysit if needs be and help out.
10.Find out about the holiday companies that specialise in providing support for carers and looking after people with dementia.This means that both the carer and the person with dementia gets a break.
11.Ask your social worker (you should get one) about the provision for respite care.
12. Read the Governments Dementia Guidance.It is an enormous publication that deals with the latest drugs and treatments etc.
It describes the treatments available for behaviour etc.
My own personal belief is that with regular monitoring and control of blod pressure you lower the risk of mini strokes.Maintain a good diet and regular exercise. Keep abreast of all the latest treatments that can halt the progression of the disease.
This site is filled with people who can advise you and who have the experience.You really are not alone with this.
I am sure you are aware that the disease progresses through a series of mini strokes.Initially the sufferer thinks they have cotton wool in their head.They can become socially withdrawn as they try to keep up with everyone's conversation.
With my mother the disease progressed over 10 - 15 years.Initially it began with her just repeating herself and not joining in the conversation.Then her functioning went.She could not coordinate cooking and doing chores as well.She was able to continue basic repetitive tasks.
Eventually she could not even make cheese on toast.Thereafter she needed to be cared for.She could not get dressed without support.
If I had known what I know now I would have done he following.
1 Read as much on the condition as possible includ all the various drugs eg.Memantine.
2. Ensured we had a lasting power of attorney for both welfare and finance.(See Court of Protection web site and download forms)A Court of Protection order is expensive to obtain and yearly charges etc.Also arranged for uptodate wills.
3.Ensure you have a joint account and that he does not have separate accounts.If he does get third party access.
4.Visited the GP for regular monitoring of blood pressure and heart check ups.(Heart disease can occur )
5.Ensured the environment in which he lives could lend itself to downstairs showering and easy access toilet.If not a move may be required but seek advice.A change of environment could disorientate.
6Find out through social services about all free available services when the need arises.They do not tell you but day care is free and they should provide transportation.(Also google dementia day care)
7 Enquire through churches about lunch groups that can give a social outlet.You can both go to these.
8 Find out about dementia cafes in the area.
9.Not be scared to ask neighbours and friends for help.People wil babysit if needs be and help out.
10.Find out about the holiday companies that specialise in providing support for carers and looking after people with dementia.This means that both the carer and the person with dementia gets a break.
11.Ask your social worker (you should get one) about the provision for respite care.
12. Read the Governments Dementia Guidance.It is an enormous publication that deals with the latest drugs and treatments etc.
It describes the treatments available for behaviour etc.
My own personal belief is that with regular monitoring and control of blod pressure you lower the risk of mini strokes.Maintain a good diet and regular exercise. Keep abreast of all the latest treatments that can halt the progression of the disease.
This site is filled with people who can advise you and who have the experience.You really are not alone with this.
Mum has never had insight into her condition. She would say she fell downstairs and now thinks she must have had a stroke. Failing those its because I am talking silly so she doesn't remember things. She now can't remember what she ate as she is eating it on her plate but still doesn't know she has a problem.
She has VasD and still believes she has a full and active life. In her mind she does everything for herself when the opposite is true.
Do get your financial situation sorted out asap as that helps so much and is a massive issue if you leave it too late.
There are people who post on TP that have returned from living abroad after diagnosis; I hope they see this post and can help you.
Keep posting.
She has VasD and still believes she has a full and active life. In her mind she does everything for herself when the opposite is true.
Do get your financial situation sorted out asap as that helps so much and is a massive issue if you leave it too late.
There are people who post on TP that have returned from living abroad after diagnosis; I hope they see this post and can help you.
Keep posting.
My only thoughts on this is to think about the timing of any move. We regret not forcing the issue of my mother moving to a more suitable place years ago as she was way too confused to cope with a move when her house became unsafe for her. It might therefore be better to move sooner rather than later so that your husband can recognise the new home and the people in that location. If you leave it until later then the move could be really counterproductive and stressing for him.
Just my thoughts...
Fiona
Just my thoughts...
Fiona
My mum has vascular dementia (she is 93) and she is getting more and more confused about her whereabouts. We will be taking her away for a week in July (not very far) and I fear this may be the last time as I think she will get very agitated. My husband has Alzheimers and we do still go away a lot. Over the last year he has been more unsettled about where we are. I know these are only holiday situations but I thought they would exemplify how unsettling strange surroundings can be to a dementia sufferer.
I don't know what I would do in your situation. You obviously have a close community where you are. Were you considering staying there for good?. I suppose I'm wondering what the dementia care and support would be like or would be available to you in TRNC. If you feel you need to come home because of the care situation then maybe sooner rather than later would be better. This would allow health professionals to get to know your husband before he progresses too far into the illness.
I can understand how you must feel. Bill and I first visited Kyrenia in the early 90s and have been back many times. I first visited with a friend in April 1974 - just before the troubles. I really love the area. I imagine it would be hard to leave.
I would try to continue having discussions with your husband about it. I know you said he is unaware but does he accept the diagnosis? If he is part of the decision making process it would make the move so much easier. The problem with Vasc Dementia is that the sufferer can go along on an even keel for some time then have a sudden dip. If this happens with your husband he may not be able to contribute to the decision.
I don't know what I would do in your situation. You obviously have a close community where you are. Were you considering staying there for good?. I suppose I'm wondering what the dementia care and support would be like or would be available to you in TRNC. If you feel you need to come home because of the care situation then maybe sooner rather than later would be better. This would allow health professionals to get to know your husband before he progresses too far into the illness.
I can understand how you must feel. Bill and I first visited Kyrenia in the early 90s and have been back many times. I first visited with a friend in April 1974 - just before the troubles. I really love the area. I imagine it would be hard to leave.
I would try to continue having discussions with your husband about it. I know you said he is unaware but does he accept the diagnosis? If he is part of the decision making process it would make the move so much easier. The problem with Vasc Dementia is that the sufferer can go along on an even keel for some time then have a sudden dip. If this happens with your husband he may not be able to contribute to the decision.
Thanks
Thanks all for your input. Whilst I can have what seems like a sensible conversation with Keith at the moment, he is unwilling to make any decisions and basically says 'whatever you think is best'. I dont feel that I want to pressurise him into recognising that he wont get better as he seems quite content at the moment. Yes - I do understand that in his situation it is likely to be a sudden dip or deterioration. I suppose I am praying that that dip will not be a huge deterioration for some time. There really isnt much in the way of specialized care here as the local community are very family orientated and they care for them within their family unit which is usually large so lots of support
t
Thanks all for your input. Whilst I can have what seems like a sensible conversation with Keith at the moment, he is unwilling to make any decisions and basically says 'whatever you think is best'. I dont feel that I want to pressurise him into recognising that he wont get better as he seems quite content at the moment. Yes - I do understand that in his situation it is likely to be a sudden dip or deterioration. I suppose I am praying that that dip will not be a huge deterioration for some time. There really isnt much in the way of specialized care here as the local community are very family orientated and they care for them within their family unit which is usually large so lots of support
t
Hi Cyprusbreeze
My dad was just diagnosed last year with Vascular Dementia at the age of 60. He had a stroke last April and everything went downhill for him after that. At the beginning, my dad was aware that something wasn't right with him but didn't know what it was. He would say that he'd either been knocked over by a bus or attacked by 2 men which caused something to happen in his head. Unfortunately, the illness progressed quite quick with my dad over the following 6 months (we didn't have a diagnosis at this point)and we had to watch him constantly go in and out of hospital. He suffered terrible bouts of aggressive behaviour during this period too and it got that we couldn't cope with it and he was finally admitted to an assessment ward where the diagnosis was finally confirmed. That was in November and we found it hard to accept that this illness could come on so abruptly and progress as quick as it did. We gave his doctors a run down over his health for the last few years and they feel that the stroke was the straw that broke the camels back as such!!!
We ourselves were ignorant to dementia and the many types there are and the vast range of symptoms that can manifest from it. After reading just about everything on the illness to try and help us make sense of it and understand it, we now feel that this has been working on my dad over the last few years. He had a brain haemorrhage 8 years ago and although we initially thought he came through it quite well, looking back we can see that various symptoms of dementia were actually showing since then. I think the reason we didn't notice these back then was because it was things that we would never have associated with dementia. He wasn't forgetful or anything like that but his personality changed, he became obsessed with money and would often accuse my mum or me & my sister of spending or stealing his money. He would talk about things that had never happened and until the stroke, still firmly believed that these events occurred.
I think believing that this may have started many years ago, helps me understand better as to why it may have progressed so quick last year rather than it just happening and snowballing from there. At first I couldn't get to grips with how they described the progression of Vascular Dementia as step-wise because it just seemed to keep going down and down with my dad. Now a year on in, I can see that those 6 months was one of the step downs in my dads condition, albeit a big step, and since February he has stabilised again.
I don't think i'll ever fully understand this illness and every day so far has been a learning curve and it will probably continue to be so. I am just taking this stable period at the moment to spend time with my dad and make life as enjoyable for him as i possibly can.
Take Care x
My dad was just diagnosed last year with Vascular Dementia at the age of 60. He had a stroke last April and everything went downhill for him after that. At the beginning, my dad was aware that something wasn't right with him but didn't know what it was. He would say that he'd either been knocked over by a bus or attacked by 2 men which caused something to happen in his head. Unfortunately, the illness progressed quite quick with my dad over the following 6 months (we didn't have a diagnosis at this point)and we had to watch him constantly go in and out of hospital. He suffered terrible bouts of aggressive behaviour during this period too and it got that we couldn't cope with it and he was finally admitted to an assessment ward where the diagnosis was finally confirmed. That was in November and we found it hard to accept that this illness could come on so abruptly and progress as quick as it did. We gave his doctors a run down over his health for the last few years and they feel that the stroke was the straw that broke the camels back as such!!!
We ourselves were ignorant to dementia and the many types there are and the vast range of symptoms that can manifest from it. After reading just about everything on the illness to try and help us make sense of it and understand it, we now feel that this has been working on my dad over the last few years. He had a brain haemorrhage 8 years ago and although we initially thought he came through it quite well, looking back we can see that various symptoms of dementia were actually showing since then. I think the reason we didn't notice these back then was because it was things that we would never have associated with dementia. He wasn't forgetful or anything like that but his personality changed, he became obsessed with money and would often accuse my mum or me & my sister of spending or stealing his money. He would talk about things that had never happened and until the stroke, still firmly believed that these events occurred.
I think believing that this may have started many years ago, helps me understand better as to why it may have progressed so quick last year rather than it just happening and snowballing from there. At first I couldn't get to grips with how they described the progression of Vascular Dementia as step-wise because it just seemed to keep going down and down with my dad. Now a year on in, I can see that those 6 months was one of the step downs in my dads condition, albeit a big step, and since February he has stabilised again.
I don't think i'll ever fully understand this illness and every day so far has been a learning curve and it will probably continue to be so. I am just taking this stable period at the moment to spend time with my dad and make life as enjoyable for him as i possibly can.
Take Care x
Update
Just to let you all know, over the last two weeks Keith has improved hugely. He has stopped confusing his words and his gait has improved to a point where he is almost back to his pre -fall state. He is eating really well and so the only small point is the unwillingness to shower although he will wash and the constant reminders to take medication. I am wondering if the effect of the Ciprilux has kicked in as he has been taking this for about 6 or 7 weeks now. He seems very content. Anyway - I wanted to share that it appears it is now always down down down and sometimes there is some improvement. (I do know this will not always be the case but for now, it is a joy)
Just to let you all know, over the last two weeks Keith has improved hugely. He has stopped confusing his words and his gait has improved to a point where he is almost back to his pre -fall state. He is eating really well and so the only small point is the unwillingness to shower although he will wash and the constant reminders to take medication. I am wondering if the effect of the Ciprilux has kicked in as he has been taking this for about 6 or 7 weeks now. He seems very content. Anyway - I wanted to share that it appears it is now always down down down and sometimes there is some improvement. (I do know this will not always be the case but for now, it is a joy)
I remember well when mum was put on Prozac and saw that it was helping
It was a joy to see mum so much happier .
Im real glad that you have seen such an improvement too , it does the heart good doesnt it
Reading through all the posts was really interesting....I recognised so much. My mother has VD as well as Alzheimer's and has been in a nursing home since March. Its been a dreadful time for all as we struggle to cope with so many changes. She has been prescribed antidepressants as well as larazipam (when required) and I long for it to have an effect so she can be calm again. Its lovely to think there are some drugs that work for some.
Jackie
Jackie
Hi Jackies
With mum, we tried her on quite a few anti d's before we found one that helped my mum (prozac), they were all ssri and it did have the docs baffled as they couldnt understand why they didnt work.
My mum had mixed dementia too
so if after a time you dont see improvement, perhaps ask doc to try another, I think they can take up to 6 weeks to see the full benifit
With mum, we tried her on quite a few anti d's before we found one that helped my mum (prozac), they were all ssri and it did have the docs baffled as they couldnt understand why they didnt work.
My mum had mixed dementia too
so if after a time you dont see improvement, perhaps ask doc to try another, I think they can take up to 6 weeks to see the full benifit
