What do I say?

[bigmama]

My Mums Audible Hallucinations are still here while she is living with us.
I do not encourage them and when she tells me what 'Phillip' has said we tend to tell her to ignore him, some such answer.
We have had the chats that explain it to her but it just does not compute.
What am I supposed to say when she tells me, so as not to make her feel they are real? I try not to take any notice but when you are asked a question to your face, you cannot ignore her.

Jan

 

[Jasper3]

could you not play along but change the subject, but keeping it on the same lines to start with just divert away slowly with another question ?

if you ignore you may get mum repeating because she hasn't had an answer

 

[bigmama]

How would I do that?

Jan

 

[Jasper3]

what sort of thing does she say ?

 

[Gill66]

With great difficulty and patience. If she is like my Mum it becomes repetitive until you say what she wants to hear.
Good luck with finding a solution. I try and use kind, gentle and as honest as possible without making an issue of it. x

 

[bigmama]

I have gone down the understanding route, which I find easy if not repetetive.
I have read on here though that I should not encourage it. I don't do this but by her talking to me and me replying surely it must encourage it? Sometimes I have to say that 'he is being silly' and not to 'believe him'.
Am I doing the correct thing??

 

[Jasper3]

I don't know if your wrong or right, and to be honest none of us get much info on how to handle things officialy, we just pass on what works for us

ie..my mum goes into the dead routine, she had 6 sisters and 2 brothers, the only one that is still alive is mums twin

she will start by saying.. A is dead B is dead C is dead and go right through the family, this will go on for upto an hour
so when she gets to B again, i will say "Mum" remember the Time when B whent horse riding and fell off, she will then tell the story, i will then start talking about horses, then fields etc etc

she then forgets about all the dead family,

thats what works for us, we found if you try to tell them they are wrong, they start to get anxious,

some things work for some but not others ..it realy is a learning curve, it will drive you mad sometimes and other times you will have a little chuckle to yourself

 

[sunray]

be non-committal

Could you just use non-committal language? Like you would to a child with an imaginary friend: "is that right?" "well I never" "what a clown" something that says that you have heard what she says without putting any emphasis on it?

I have heard from someone in the mental health field that an hallucination is more real than reality to the person having it so that is why it is wise to go along with it and then divert away from it. So go with the "is that right?" aproach and then say; "never mind we'll ..go out into the garden...have a cup of tea...see what's on TV.." whatever you would use naturally to change the subject.

Living in a person with dementia's world is hard to do to begin with but it does make for peace and harmony.And that is what I would want.

Sue.