Todays the day

[grannieb]

Mum goes to the nursing home today I am up since five viewing and looking for tips and making lists. I know I should not feel guilty but I do. My eldest son (36) was down last night and we had tea together -lovely. I got granny to sing " I have heard the mavis singing" a song her father loved, for my son and I thought he was going to break down he calls gran his ledgend she has lived with us for virtually all of his life and spoiled him rotten. When he left he hugged me tight and said I don't want this to happen mum but I know it needs to ( I am so proud of all my children) My darling husband is coming with me and I have insisted my brother ( just the two of us) comes too ( how can some people not feel responsible for a parent) I need to share this burden please think of us this afternoon 2.30 and send me the strength I need to get through this I hope my mum settles but I have a feeling she will guilt trip me again. love to you all liz

 

[Grannie G]

Hello grannieb

Don`t let your mum guilt trip you. There comes a time when decisions have to be made no matter how painful.
I hope it all turns out for the best and will have my fingers crossed at 2.30pm for you.

 

[grannieb]

thank you other grannie just needed to know someone would be thinking of us will try very hard to take your advice X

 

[Groundnut]

Hello Grannieb
It sounds like you have done the very best for your mum. It must be an incredibly difficult day for you. I will think of you today and send a massive big hug to you.

 

[Jasper3]

Hello Grannieb

just sending our best wishes to you and your family for today
we hope all goes well

jasp and H x

 

[Redwitch]

Hi Grannieb,

Wishing you all the best this afternoon.

Jan

 

[turbo]

Hello grannieb, I will be thinking of you today, such a difficult day for you.

Turbo

 

[grannieb]

thankyou all so much hearing from you really helps - my only regret is that I spent too much time looking at this site and not joining earlier if you are just viewing please join up I'm glad I did )

 

[bunnies]

Please don't fear the worst - you don't know until your Mum is there how she will react to it, and you may be pleasantly surprised - I was, when my aunt (who had always vowed she would never go into a home) setlled in really easily and began to improve in health immediately. So, be positive!

 

[lin1]

Dear Gannieb

Will be thinking of you today
I hope all goes as smoothly as possible for you

 

[beena]

Hello GrannieB - My heart goes out to you today. I was in the same situation as you last week (Mum went to care home on Wednesday) and, although I knew it was absolutely the best for her and her safety, sense did not makes things any easier whatsoever in terms of emotional upheaval.
Fortunately I overcame my natural "I can't let anyone see how I'm feeling" mode and turned to TP. Thank goodness! I received replies from others who fully understood what I was going through, gave advice and didn't judge my lack of self-control:it helped me so much and I am sure you will find the same.
One reply said "You will need the strength of Goliath" (for the day): it stuck in my mind and is absolutely spot on.
I will be thinking of you and your family today x

 

[Gill66]

Not a regular visitor on here, but wanted to wish you the very best for today. It's not going to be easy, but is the best thing for all of you. I guess a lot of us will reach this stage at some point and others already have. Be brave and keep smiling

 

[cragmaid]

By the time you read this the biggest steps will have been taken. I know that whatever we say today, you will feel like the sky has fallen in. It hasn't and you didn't make it happen. Start seeing this move as a positive action and not a negative. Look after yourself, Maureen.x.

 

[beena]

Grannie B -
PLEASE post a reply as to how things went today: have been thinking of you all day - pour it all out: it doesn't matter: people understand.
Waiting to read your reply at any time you feel you can x

 

[Goingitalone]

Thinking of you, Grannie. This will be me soon so you're particularly in my thoughts.

You're a STAR for doing your very best for your Mum.

This part comes to most of us and we feel for you.

BIG HUGS,

Maggie

 

[matchstick]

My mum,88 went into a nursing home 8 weeks ago,has settled better than i could ever imagined,has regained her mobility up to a point.It was the hardest decision of my life,but the correct one.hope all goes well.

 

[grannieb]

thankyou all so much and I know your strength and positive thoughts brought me through yesterday. On a positive note the staff could not have been better and the staff nurse who visited to assess mum was there to greet us giving her a familiar face how wonderful - this kind lady came back early from her lunch. The home is clean and comfortable and there was a painting class going on when we arrived unfortunately mums room was upstairs and her mobility is poor however they have an alarm on her door so she cannot wonder I know it will take time for them to get to know mum so I am sure things will work out. Negatives, mum did try the guilt trip telling me she never thought I would send her away she would never have done that to me I blamed the doctors and said they were the bosses ( little white lies are ok aren't they)My brother did the usual thing tried to be jolly and acted as if he really knew all mums ailments ( this really just amounted to "she shuffles now cant walk very well") The staff just kept turning to me and my husband for information. We stayed for about 3 hours & introduced mum to the smoking room a real blessing for a woman who smokes 40 a day. She then started the guilt stuff again and I just kept telling her this had to be done for the doctors to be able to look after her properly I didn't cry ( well not in front of her ) and I got the strength from somewhere ( you wonderful people I am sure ) to leave her in the care of my brother ( big big shock for him) and left to cry my eyes out. He rung about two hours later to say he was home had taken her into tea and went to the day room with her he said it only dawned on him then!!!! it has taken him nearly ten years. so all in all not as bad as I had imagined and today is now here and I will go down after lunch ( my daughter is coming for support) and my brother under pressure from mum is visiting this evening. I will keep updating but one thing I do know is I have the support of my wonderful husband who made the dinner and poured the wine generously last night and my four wounderful children who are going to give me the support I need. Sometimes it is through trials you realise how strong your children have become I love them all dearly and they are kind kind people at heart. signed Proud as Punch Wife and Mum thankyou my friends Love to you all especially those who will have to travel this road get all the support you need and you will certainly need it so start building it up now " It is in asking that we receive" Liz
sorry it took so long!!!

 

[Grannie G]

I always put the blame/responsibility on the doctor Liz.
`Dr K needs you to build up your strength.`
`I`ll have to phone Dr K`.
`Dr K is really pleased with you.`
It has worked for over a year and is still working, thank goodness.

 

[Goingitalone]

Hi Liz,

I'm so glad you managed to get through yesterday. Your situation sounds much like mine, 4 wonderful children and supportive husband but sibs in denial.

Well done for making bro step up to the mark!!!

Wishing you well over the coming days and weeks. One day at a time you'll get through it with the support of your lovely family and hopefully bro will now do his bit.

I'm dreading this part of the journey but, as you say, the people on here are wonderful. They have been there for me on the journey so far and have taught me so much.

Take care, Liz and please do keep posting if you can. It's such a help to those of us who are just behind you on this road.

Big hugs,

Maggie

 

[Christin]

Hello Grannieb, just to say hello, no doubt you feel very strange today, and I just wanted to send you a hug xx.

I hope little white lies are allowed, I am in big trouble if not

It sounds as if you have a wonderful family, and I like your husband for pouring generous amounts of wine for you last night.

Very best wishes to you all xx