I need help and don't know who to turn to...

[Redwitch]

Hi everyone,

I am fairly new to being a carer and struggling to understand AD and come to terms with my feelings towards Mum and her condition. I am an only child, work full time, have recently been diagnosed with an under-active thyroid (so already feel tired all the time), moved Mum, Dad and us (husband and youngest daughter) into a house together just before Christmas. Sadly Dad passed away on 30th January after a long battle with COPD, and Mum has since taken a turn for the worst, her condition is as yet undiagnosed (but only because it is taking so long to get all the necessary tests done, everyone previously thought it was severe depression).

I don't know where to turn to for advice, are there courses that help you manage their needs and your own feelings? I don't even know how bad Mum is I do know she suffers from paranoia, mood swings, boredom, loves moving things around and thinks that all the clothes in the house are hers but that the food belongs to a specific person, laughs at the strangest things with a laugh that resembles a cackling witch (not her old laugh), likes hugging and kissing people that she has just met amongst many other things.

Any advice gratefully received, I know this is a long journey we will be taking together, but I want to try and avoid to many "flat tyres" along the way, and would occasionally would like to slip into auto-pilot

 

[Helen33]

Dear Redwitch,

I don't know whether this will help but your post made me remember some short video clips that explain different types of dementia and the different affects it can have. It is from a FrontoTemperal Lobe Dementia Team but it is nevertheless very informative and helpful I think. Try looking at each of the video clips to see whether it helps you http://memory.ucsf.edu/ftd/overview

You might also find it helpful to get in touch with your local Branch of the Alzheimers society to see what they have on offer. I found our local branch to be very informative and they held several groups and knew of many more that were being held. Some were multi-disciplinary groups.

I am sorry about the loss of your father earlier this year. You must be under enormous strain with all that you have on and I can only hope that somehow being a member of Talking Point helps relieve the burden just a little bit. I don't know where I would have been without it at times.

Love and best wishes

 

[Jancis]

Dear Redwitch,
I've been catching up on all your threads and it does seem as if you are wilting under the burden of caring for your mum and coping with the impact her illness is having on your family. You've recently moved home, lost your father and now have your own health problem and that of your daughter's to deal with.
Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel? Is it possible you could pour out your heart to him/her, as at the very least it might prompt a serious assessment of your mum's condition - and get her on the right priority list? I have just read your most recent thread which reaffirms that you do need to get professional help. I hope some other members will be able to offer some alternative views and ideas.

 

[Bumble B]

Hi Redwitch,our GP surgery has a Carers' Support officer,it may be worth asking whether yours has one as they can direct you to stuff that can be helpful.
Sorry I can't be more helpful,it takes so much time finding sources of support and I know how wearying it is.

 

[sbrew]

Hi Redwhich - I also think you should contact your local Altzheimer Society Btanch - they are excellent in the support, information and help they give - an excellent starting point - unfortunatelly they do take their time diagnosing Altzheimer - it took us 8 months to get it!!! For your well being - remember - it is the illness not your Mom who is strange - and don't take it personally whatever she throws at you, she will forget in 5 minutes, you shoulf too. Also get in touch with Social Services to get financial help - we found we spend a lot of money on help for my MIL, also start proceeeds for Power of Attorney - it can take months and you need to be in control as soon as possible, be strong, all the best and keep coming back to this forum, i find it invaluable -all the best, sbrew.

 

[nocturne]

I had a look on Google to see if there was any form of Carer's Support Group covering Horsham, similar to the one in my area. I found this link.http://www.carerssupport.org.uk
I don't know anything about it but it looks like a possible lead for you to follow. My local group is great for finding out where to look for things I need and also for emotional support which I have needed a great deal over the years.
Best wishes,
Jan

 

[loggerman]

Horsham Dementia Cafe

Hi, It is a bit short notice for you but the next Horsham Dementia Cafe is this evening from 6pm to 8pm at Age UK, Lavinia House, Dukes Square, Denne Road, Horsham, West Sussex. De-Cafe provides an evening of entertainment and support for people living with dementia, their carers, family members and friends. De-Cafe also welcomes those who work with people with dementia.

It is an opportunity to meet with others and share problems and experiences. There is also a monthly support group and a support worker in Horsham. If I can be of any help or you would like more details please let me know. Details of Alzheimer's Society services provided in West Sussex North can be found at http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/custom_scripts/branch.php?branch=true&branchCode=13837