Are lost memories gone forever?

[garfieldthecat]

Hi,

This is my first post in this forum but I know from the few days I've been a member that you are all very patient and full of useful comments, so here goes with some background and the problem.

I am 50 years old and have had memory problems for some time now. I cannot remember my daughter's wedding in 2000, my own wedding in 1989; moving house in 1994 and the list goes on. I would have bet money that my mother did not attend my daughter's wedding - until my wife showed me a photo of all four of us standing together at the ceremony. Equally, I cannot remember someone I apparently met last December, although some fragments of the conversation we had are quite clear! If I go the shops I invariably need to phone home to see what I'm supposed to be buying, unless I take a list!

I had a brain scan last year because I was also suffering headaches but this was fine; the headaches were, after all, related to eye problems.

I had a visit to a memory clinic about 18 months ago and since it consisted largely of questions like "Who is the Prime Minister" it seemed a waste of time. The only nugget of information hidden away in the follow-up letter was that my earlier prolonged use of Venlafaxine (an anti-depressant) "might contribute to cognitive impairment."

I have also been taking statins for some time which might be a potential cause of memory loss but am currently on a three month "statins holiday" to see if my memory improves.

Having said all the above, my question is "Do those memories I have apparently lost come back if my memory "mechanism" is fixed?

Can anyone recommend ways of improving memory that actually work?

Any advice/suggestions most welcome, and thanks for listening.

PS My mother has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia - should I be worried that my problems are the start of something similar?

 

[Vonny]

Hi Garfieldthecat,

Well I am patient but I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help to you. I just wanted to welcome you to Talking Point (TP) and say I hope someone comes along who can help you.

I'd have advised going to see your doctor but you are clearly ahead of me on that one. I would have thought that provided the brain isn't damaged, memories are still there and can be returned.

We've just discovered that my sister has gaps in her memory and, despite seeing photos (including fancy dress so clearly memorable occasions not just daily affairs) can't remember them. These are all around the time she was leaving her first husband over 20 years ago so we think she must have blanked them out somehow without realising it. She still can't remember them but the memories must be in there somewhere.

I'm sorry this isn't much help and I hope there is someone on TP who can give you more information.

 

[garfieldthecat]

Hi Vonny,

Please don't think I was ignoring your response - it's just that recently I have been too busy thinking about Mum and using the other forum to worry about my memory! Thanks for taking the time to reply.

The statin holiday might actually be working; odd memories are coming back in situations that previously would not have triggered anything. I was looking at old photos I found at Mums and a lot of memories came back clearly. There are still large gaps in short term and long term memory but lets hope things are improving.

Regards,
Garfieldthe cat

 

[sunny]

I think you should have been concerned especially as your mother had developed dementia, and you obviously sought medical attention. I have noticed that often people who develop dementia have had a history of depression (perhaps this is denoting brain changes). You are obviously being monitored which is a good thing and your memory seems to be improving so that's a real positive. I would have thought if it was dementia then the memories would not have returned. As you have had a brain scan also and everything was ok then it seems that the worries are unfounded.

 

[Jancis]

Do you keep a diary?

Hi Garfiedthecat,
I just realised I read your thread a few days ago and meant to reply but instead posted a thread on the main forum asking if anyone else had negative experience with Venlafaxine- then I couldn't find your thread as I thought I'd seen in The Tea Room! There is so much information on TP that I get lost sometimes.

I am sorry to hear you are worried about your memory, it' only natural but I wonder if this might be connected to other health problems and it may not be the case that permanent damage has been done. My mum has always said her memory is poor - all her life she has compared her memory with that of my dad who had a memory like an elephant. He often used to tease her and say "don't you remember I took you to such and such place and then he would spout a great lengthy account of the day, the weather, what they had to eat etc etc. Sadly, my dad became very ill and developed dementia and died 2 years ago. My mum, bless her, has been spared the disease so far - she is 84. Her memory is still rubbish but she is bright as a button and happy and contented and lives for her only grandchild. We have many photo albums of my daughter growing up and she often pours over them and recalls many details saying that she had forgotten this or that but the photos bring back the memories. The reason I am rabbiting on is because I wondered if keeping a diary might help you to preserve memories for the future. I keep a few notes most days regarding my uncle's health situation and looking back I think I would have forgotten much of what has actually happened to him if I hadn't kept this logbook. Problems with health and family can certainly affect wellbeing and I am sure this has a detrimental affect on memory - our inbuilt coping mechanism perhaps.
Take care.
Jancis

 

[Sandy]

I would just like to point out that this thread was started in Feb 2010 and that garfieldthecat hasn't logged in since May 2010.

 

[Jancis]

I realised this after I posted, I saw Sunny had revived it. It's still an interesting thread. Sorry for confusion.

 

[garfieldthecat]

A long-overdue update!

First of all please accept my apologies for being away from you all for so long. Since we lost Mum last year there seems to have been so much going on I simply lost track of these and other forums I belong to.

Well I thought an update might be useful for those of you who were kind enough to provide comment and support previously.

I have now been off statins for nine months and my short term memory and cognitive skills have improved. I have also moved to a less stressful job which I also believe helps.

One thing that does bother me though is that my hand-eye co-ordination is getting worse and this shows itself well when I type or write. I type a sentence and when I read it I find I have put the gaps in the wrong place so a sentence like "Mary had a little lamb" comes out as Maryh ad a littlel amb". It still reads write but clearly the words are wrongly structured. I thought at first it was my clumsy two-fingered typing but when I recently went on a course and had to write notes (shock horror) the gaps were still in the wrong place. I am also prone to saying the wrong words even though the split second before I know the right thing to say. An example might be; I see our dog lying in her bed and noticing her I go to say "Hiya Pooch" but I actually say "Hiya Puss" and immediately realise the mistake. I also still forget the names of some of our cats and when talking about them to my long-suffering better half I have to resort to descriptions!

It may just be a man thing or age-related (I'm not ancient, only 51) but I am curious to hear if it's more common than I think.

Thanks for listening/reading!

Garfield

 

[jenniferpa]

I'm not sure about the naming thing (although I was quite used to my mother going through 3 dogs names before she got to mine, and that was 30 years before she had her strokes) but I can definitely say that the putting the spaces in the wrong place is fairly common (in that, I do it). Sometimes I also seem to type phonetically, for want of a better description, and I really do not think I have any medical issue at all.

I don't want to sound flippant, as I know this can be worrying, but I think "normal" is a pretty wide range.

Take care

 

[Jancis]

Statins

Welcome back Garfield,
Just noticed your update.
It's good to hear you are able to stay off the statins. My husband was able to come off these recently following a heart bypass op. Statins caused lots of side effects for him and he is feeling so much better now.

Sorry can't help with the hand/eye co-ordination worry you mention, but note from your first post that you have had eye problems? Could this be something to do with it?

Hope the job is going OK.
Best wishes, Jancis

 

[Onlyme]

I put the gaps in the wrong places all the time. I put it down to stress or tiredness (just did it then and had to correct it). I think we are so used to keyboards that our brains race ahead of our fingers. I find I am worse on a laptop than on a desk top.

 

[rosaliesal]

Memories to record

I sat this lunch time listening to 4 young ladies sat behind me discussing their awful memories. One laughed and said she had taken offence when her husband shouted "do not forget your library card"...she went off to town and found she had forgotten her purse. They all laughed and each had similar incidents to swap. They laughed and laughed. As we get older we do worry that perhaps it is getting worse. Perhaps we do all get worse bit by bit, some more than others. Diagnosis may be important but what is vital is to keep things in proportion. You may well live for many many years and you do not want to fill those years with fear and worry. If you have a problem try to help yourself by making happy memories for yourself. Make life as happy as you can as often as you can. Try not to concentrate on what errors you make but on the fun you have had. O.K. so perhaps you won't remember it all but you could do what I now do...make a written record of things that give you happiness. This book becomes something lovely to read. Soon you will have a book full of happy memories that you can read at any time on any day and make you realise that life is great. My mum has Alzheimers and has had this problem for 14 years and she is coming up to 85 years old and often tells me that she is happy or that she has had a lovely day. It is the quality of life day by day that now counts. I wish you happiness.

 

[garfieldthecat]

A belated update and thank you

I must apologise for not keeping you informed all these months but so much has been happening. I will start by thanking all of you who took the time to respond to my post; your kind words are much appreciated.
My memory seems to be improving rapidly since I was taken off statins permanently and I moved into a less stressful position at work so I'm hoping things will be easier from now on.
I am however very concerned about my wife's memory but i think that needs to be a new thread.
Thanks again to all of those who helped me understand my memory problems.
Garfield