How do I sort out my husband's finances?

[Greensleeves]

Until about 18 months ago my husband was capable of dealing with some of his own financial affairs and I encouraged this as it helped him to focus and feel in control of his life. However, he then had yet another stroke which robbed him of this ability and now he is in a CH and I have a POA and am trying to pick up the pieces.....

My problem is that DLA say that he has been overpaid and they want to reclaim about £5k from him. I had a very distressing phone conversation with one of the staff at DLA who kept saying "You should have read the back page of our letter...." but I kept pointing out to him that at that time my husband was dealing with such matters and all correspondence was addressed to him, and I didn't have a POA etc.

I am now in a position were I have to appeal against the decision that my husband should repay this money, but I don't know how I appeal on his behalf because I just don't know what is in his mind or what are reasonable grounds of appeal. I contacted CAB who were useless and the telephone interview I had was just a waste of time.

All my husband's savings have gone towards paying for his place in the care home; all his pension is taken; they will not allow me any allowance for my 19 yr old daughter who is at uni; the house has gone, I am now retired, and am in rented accommodation.

In effect my life has fallen apart and now they want about £5k which my husband does not have. What on earth am I going to do?

 

[Tolkny]

they want about £5k which my husband does not have. What on earth am I going to do?

Get reliable confidential information and possibly advice - don't struggle on your own, well done for inviting comment here.

The best place for advice depends on what is available where you are, how you find it easiest to communicate - face to face, phone, email, etc.

But in handling finance it is essential that you can trust the person you are approaching.

Professional advice that you pay for should be OK, but nothing is certain. So organisations where people belong to recognised trade and professional bodies are likely to be better than someone you pay for whom there is nowhere to go for redress if they make your situation worse. BUT, getting a specialist is probably best - plus one does not want go round in circles.

If in doubt perhaps start witha call to the Alzheimer's Society Helpline. http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/helpline

 

[chucky]

Hello Greensleeves, first of all stop panicking. There are ways to sort this out and its not your fault it is a genuine mistake. We have a place called advice works and they are funded by the council but act solely on clients behalf sorting things like appeals, finance, benefits etc. Is there one near you? Do you know why the overpayment occured, how long has it been going on etc it would help if you had any paperwork so that it can be traced back. Your best bet i think would be to contact your local Social Work dept ask for the finance section and tell them that although you know theyre not responsible for DLA youre only asking for advice. I had to do this last week because i had a back payment of £2275. that i cant pay and they gave me sound advice. Obviously private and personal so i wont divulge the details but suffice to say they sorted it out. Appeals can take an age and the fact that your hubby cannot act for himself means that they will have to deal with you having POA, so dont let them fob you off. Dont act on this alone, you need proper representation for an appeal and advice on how/when/if the money has to be paid back. Above all else, try to stay calm and dont worry too much, it can be sorted. take care.

 

[Nebiroth]

Remember that this is your husband's debt - not yours. As far as I know, they can't seek to reclaim it from you - only from your husband and his assets.

I would think to try and make a claim from you, they would have to have proof that your husband had created a Power of Attorney document naming you as attorney AND that you had failed in your legal obligation to register it and take over control of his affairs once you believed that he had lost capacity to do so himself. As a named attorney, it would have been your duty to register it if you believed he had lost capacity and you would have been viewed as negligent if you had not; also, once you became an active attorney it would have been your responsibility to keep the DWP informed.

I strongly suspect that the DWP cannot seek to reclaim overpaid monies from anyone but the recipient of them - ie your husband - and that given that he has no remaining assets to recover them from, I think the worst that can happen is that they would take a very modest sum from your husband's income or personal allowance. The full debt will almost certainly never be repaid - the weekly sums are often more token than anything.

If your husband has passed away then they would recover the debt from his estate, if the estate wasn't enough, it would have to be written off.

The days when families were legally obliged to take on the debts of each other are long gone.

 

[grobertson62]

Hi

I have an active POA & have been trying to stop the DWP paying dad his DLA as he is in a care home now

numerous calls have been made but they assured me they won't be claiming back.

So it may worth giving the DWP a call too & explain the situation

Gill

 

[Nebiroth]

Any notifications to the DWP should be made in writing and sent by registered mail - and keep a photocopy.

It's important to have proof that you did what you're supposed to do. Sadly notifications by phone can and do slip through the cracks, get wrongly keyed in, etc.

 

[Greensleeves]

Thank you all so much for your comments and advice. Strangely enough, I find it somewhat comforting that I am not the only person wading through this particular mire.

This matter does relate to the continued payment of mobility and care allowances whilst my husband was in hospital. As soon as I was able to register a POA and take control of his affairs, I contacted DLA. Interestingly I also contacted the Pensions Service in November last, and asked them if they wished to see a copy of the POA. I had no reply from them so in January I contacted them again and asked why they had not replied. Their response was that they had not replied because my husband had not signed the letter, and they could not deal with me on his behalf without sight of a POA!!!!!!!!

One of the problems is that most of the professionals I have spoken to don't know the rules and the advice I have been given by them has been flawed. For example, I discussed the continuing payment of mobility allowance with the social worker and care home staff. They told me that they would like it to be used to buy an electric wheelchair for my husband and asked me if I could contact DLA to see if this would be possible, as they were having great difficulty in view of his weight. And after a couple of months, DLA contacted me and the nightmare began.

I agree that everything should be done in writing; my problem is that an individual from DLA has phoned me on a number of occasions and has been most unpleasant, using phrases like "you people" and "you needn't think you can....". This was happening on my work number, and I was finding it really distressing to have to have such private conversations at work, when I shared an office with three other people who from my replies became aware of my situation. Now I have taken early retirement, at least I am no longer subjected to this, and thanks to your advice, if they phone again I will tell them to put it in writing.

However, thank you for reminding me that it is my husband's debt, not mine. It is hard to keep things in perspective at times when also trying to come to terms with the overwhelming grief of the loss of the person my husband once was.

Once again, thank you all so much for taking the time to give me advice. I am just so glad I found this site because as you know, it is so difficult sorting things like this out. And how can we know what to do? It is not as if (thank goodness) it is something that happens regularly......

 

[Tolkny]

I contacted them again and asked why they had not replied. Their response was that they had not replied because my husband had not signed the letter, and they could not deal with me on his behalf without sight of a POA!!!!!!!!

...

DLA contacted me and the nightmare began.

... an individual from DLA has phoned me on a number of occasions and has been most unpleasant, using phrases like "you people" and "you needn't think you can....". This was happening on my work number, and I was finding it really distressing to have to have such private conversations at work, when I shared an office with three other people who from my replies became aware of my situation.....

This is all so predictable and desperately sad.

It is especially good that it is documented because this information needs to be known by policy makers as they endeavour to advance the so called National Dementia Strategy.

DWP is a Government Department and therefore comes under the supervision of a Government Minister who is answerable to YOUR member of parliament who has the power to initiate and change the rules that are made for DWP.

Hence, if WE can get the energy to communicate this sort of stuff with our MPs it should produce good results although it can take time, but MPs can and do take up causes on behalf of Constituents. Those workers who cause a nightmare are less likely to repeat the behaviour for others if the head of their department gets a letter about it from an MP!

The people who campaign on behalf of Al Soc with the various agencies can benefit from having this sort of 'evidence' - maybe a mod can alert the right person/put this thread in the raising awareness and campaigning one as presumably the AS campaigners keep in touch with stuff there to know how things are at 'ground level' right NOW.

You can often contact an MP very easily on line and can start from here:-

http://findyourmp.parliament.uk/

 

[Nebiroth]

I agree that everything should be done in writing; my problem is that an individual from DLA has phoned me on a number of occasions and has been most unpleasant, using phrases like "you people" and "you needn't think you can....". This was happening on my work number, and I was finding it really distressing to have to have such private conversations at work, when I shared an office with three other people who from my replies became aware of my situation. Now I have taken early retirement, at least I am no longer subjected to this, and thanks to your advice, if they phone again I will tell them to put it in writing.

This is unprofessional and unacceptable. I have generally found DWP staff to be courteous and helpful, obviously you have the misfortune to have one of the ones that aren't.

The use of such terms and language would be grounds for a formal complaint.

 

[Tolkny]

grounds for a formal complaint.

Certainly but it is exhausting enough dealing witha demented person, I have given up with 'formal complaints' and just ask the person I am telling about my problems to tell the appropriate person about my difficulties and will not pursue matters further nowadays (usually) however if something merits it I will go an see an MP as that can be the route of real change rather than just rectifying one problem.