Dear Tillykate
Sadly, and as hard as it is on you and your husband, it isn't unusual. Checking for UTI is always a good idea and you're right that hydration is key often in mood swings. In my experience, it depends where your Mum is on the progression of the disease. In what I would call the mid-phase, my Mum was hostile, complaining and quite difficult. Sun shined out of the proverbial backside of my brother who barely shows an interest! But now Mum is in a much more advanced state of vascular dementia - she can still feed herself, walk with assistance though her speech is very mixed and jumbled. But she recognises those of us who are close and I can see that she is very happy most of the times. There are off days - and when I wash her, I get biffed quite a bit and she can get very cross, obviously aware that it is complete insubordination on my part to clean and cream parts that I shouldn't even know about - but once the ordeal is over, she is happy. I know that I am extraordinarily lucky. There are many members whose experience is far different. Only to say that the aggression can pass and soften. I would even go so far as to say that my relationship with Mum has improved since she contracted dementia, in that I am full of admiration and love at her indomitable spirit, her refusal to give in. Hang on in there if you can but don't be shy about asking for help if it is becoming oppressive and unbearable for you. You know that as your Mum, she would not want you to suffer were she able to behave as she would choose to do.