My dad

[sharon63]

My dad has vascular dementia as a result of slow heart failure. This was diagnosed mid year although his health and memory have been deteriorating all this year. This last week he is very angry and he has started spitting "phlem" he says thats what it is but i'm not sure it is. The support we have are measuring our expectations as to how long he has left and this is heartbreaking. But my real questions are
is the spitting normal
he rolls his trousers between his fingers constantly, why?

 

[SheilaL]

I can't comment on the phlegm. Perhaps have dad checked out for any nasal/throat/chest infections. However, take care that decongestants are compatible with his meds - esp any anti convulsants. As for the constant plucking at his trousers, any such 'tic' is indicative of dementia. My auntie's thing seems to be folding, unfolding and refolding a towel

 

[Contrary Mary]

Yes, I would agree to get any possible infections checked out as infections can play such havoc with dementia.

Mum spends a lot of time in bed and her "thing" is fiddling with the blankets.

 

[sharon63]

thank you, just struggling now to do what is right. my brother took his debit card from him because money was going missing from his account. But despite this being months ago, dad is now demanding the return of it. I feel that he should have the dignity of his own control and the stress he is placing on himself can't be good for his heart, but the carers believe it best the card is held for him. I want to cry and don't know what to do for the best.

 

[florence43]

Oh Sharon,

You poor thing. It's awful, isn't it? Watching it, understanding it, not understanding it. Dementia is so difficult for all who live with it.

My mum used to fiddle with things all the time. She'd roll her ring round her fingers constantly, or twist a tissue then untwist it. I never knew why.

She doesn't anymore, but she is quite poorly now, so she doesn't really do anything. That's worse, of course, but the changes that happen, sometimes overnight, are so hard to understand.

I really feel for you. Do come here anytime you need support.

Sending love,

 

[Carer1]

so glad you've found TP. I do hope you find answers to your questions. Time is one thing we cannot measure. I was told my dad has 12months to live when I first became his carer, he lasted for five years.

will be thinking of you.

regards xx