Hello I am from the UK and my 78 year old Mum is suffering from 'memory problems' - at least that is what it says on her care plan from the local Mental Health Team.
From as long as I can remember I have supported my Mum emotionally, (I am now 58)She has not been an easy person to relate to and we have had times when I have had to 'back off' from her just to preserve my own mental health. I've always found it difficult to set boundaries with her as far as what I could couldn't do and what I was prepared to listen to and have said to me and in some ways I have maybe been my own worst enemy because of wanting 'to keep the peace'. She has been very outspoken to the point of being rude and hurtful to me and the rest of the family but I am the one who has always been there for her and who lives nearest it is therefore me now who is dealing with the consequences of her 'memory problems'
I love her very much in spite of everything and I am heartbroken seeing her getting old, forgetful and frail. I am very stressed and suffer from depression myself due mainly to how I have reacted and dealt with the many issues with Mum over the years - my married/family life has never been normal as I've always been juggling and balancing all the dynamics between us all.(Mum has never got on with hubby)
The only reason my Mum has been placed under the wing of the Mental Health team is because I rung her GP in desperation one day after the 'umpteenth' conversation with Mum regarding wanting to just die in her sleep and her having no will to live.
This is so long winded I know and I could go on about how unhappy she has been most of her life but what I'm facing now is that she is just very lonely and still wants to die in her sleep so she won't be a burden., she's getting more confused and not looking after herself properly but when I get the SW come to talk she doesn't seem so bad....?
I was so distressed and anxious yesterday evening after my visit with her I just cried for ages when I got home. I've rung her SW today to arrange another visit with a view to getting her into an 'extra care housing' - a new development which is being built locally and due to be finished in the summer. I can only think that this is the way to go now....sorry for rambling I'm just at the end of my tether....
From as long as I can remember I have supported my Mum emotionally, (I am now 58)She has not been an easy person to relate to and we have had times when I have had to 'back off' from her just to preserve my own mental health. I've always found it difficult to set boundaries with her as far as what I could couldn't do and what I was prepared to listen to and have said to me and in some ways I have maybe been my own worst enemy because of wanting 'to keep the peace'. She has been very outspoken to the point of being rude and hurtful to me and the rest of the family but I am the one who has always been there for her and who lives nearest it is therefore me now who is dealing with the consequences of her 'memory problems'
I love her very much in spite of everything and I am heartbroken seeing her getting old, forgetful and frail. I am very stressed and suffer from depression myself due mainly to how I have reacted and dealt with the many issues with Mum over the years - my married/family life has never been normal as I've always been juggling and balancing all the dynamics between us all.(Mum has never got on with hubby)
The only reason my Mum has been placed under the wing of the Mental Health team is because I rung her GP in desperation one day after the 'umpteenth' conversation with Mum regarding wanting to just die in her sleep and her having no will to live.
This is so long winded I know and I could go on about how unhappy she has been most of her life but what I'm facing now is that she is just very lonely and still wants to die in her sleep so she won't be a burden., she's getting more confused and not looking after herself properly but when I get the SW come to talk she doesn't seem so bad....?
I was so distressed and anxious yesterday evening after my visit with her I just cried for ages when I got home. I've rung her SW today to arrange another visit with a view to getting her into an 'extra care housing' - a new development which is being built locally and due to be finished in the summer. I can only think that this is the way to go now....sorry for rambling I'm just at the end of my tether....