My MIL is currently in hospital and the doc there asked did I know what her DNR status was. She had DNR put in place at the time of diagnosis about 3 1/2 years ago which she did whilst at the doctors and I was there. Even yesterday in delirium she said tell them to let me go if they need to I don't wont to suffer. Luckily she is much better today but regardless she knew then and she knows now, want she wants. If you think she would understand, maybe you could ask her in simple terms what she wants. If not go with want "you" think she would want, not easy for you but like @Petunia50 says, you will know her better than a stranger. Whichever way you decide you will have made the best choice.
My mother, my brother and I all have medical Power of Attorney (Health and Welfare). We wrote to my father’s GP emphasising that he had always said that if he had dementia he wouldn’t want to live on as a burden to others “like a vegetable” (his words). We made it clear that if he had known about DNR before he lost mental capacity he would have insisted on having one. He used to have a horror of being senile and incapable
The GP readily drew up and signed the purple DNR form relying on our information
I have been advised that only with the purple form immediately at hand will paramedics not resuscitate a patient. Nothing else will do & it has to come from a doctor. In an emergency they probably wouldn’t waste time checking whether relatives have POA
That was what I was told at least
We keep the DNR form in a purple envelope near the front door of the house now, and carers are aware of it
My mother, my brother and I all have medical Power of Attorney (Health and Welfare). We wrote to my father’s GP emphasising that he had always said that if he had dementia he wouldn’t want to live on as a burden to others “like a vegetable” (his words). We made it clear that if he had known about DNR before he lost mental capacity he would have insisted on having one. He used to have a horror of being senile and incapable
The GP readily drew up and signed the purple DNR form relying on our information
I have been advised that only with the purple form immediately at hand will paramedics not resuscitate a patient. Nothing else will do & it has to come from a doctor. In an emergency they probably wouldn’t waste time checking whether relatives have POA
That was what I was told at least
We keep the DNR form in a purple envelope near the front door of the house now, and carers are aware of it
Mum, almost 90, 3 years into a mixed dementia diagnosis, has been in are home since March. Now they are asking me, her son, if I want to put DNR on her notes. "For her sake!"
Any advice welcomed
I have had one done for dad and we have it in his home. Dad is nearly 90 very frail and has cancer. I think it would be an awful thing for dad to have to go through and would cause him a lot of pain and damage if he survived. Resuscitation rarely works and on an elderly person would probably result in brain damage and broken bones. It is quite a brutal procedure and nothing like you would see on TV
Dad would agree if he understood but he doesn't so I made the decision. He can have any other treatment needed but not resuscitation as there would be no point.
JMVcarer; Do you have LPOA? Are there any other close family members you could discuss this with? If she is now unable to make this decision herself, you are probably better placed to know her wishes than a "stranger".
I was lucky in that my Mum's GP asked her quite early on when completing her care plan.
JMVcarer; Do you have LPOA? Are there any other close family members you could discuss this with? If she is now unable to make this decision herself, you are probably better placed to know her wishes than a "stranger".
I was lucky in that my Mum's GP asked her quite early on when completing her care plan.
ThanksHi @JMVcarer
It must have come as a shock to suddenly be asked that question but a DNR doesn’t mean that your mum will be left to die - it means that if her heart stops she will not be bought back.
I am first aid trained and the methods necessary for resuscitation are, by necessity, quite brutal. Even quite young people can suffer painful bruises and even broken ribs or sternum. I certainly wouldn’t want to use these techniques on a frail 90 year old.
My dad had a DNR. He requested it himself shortly after he was diagnosed with dementia when he found out he also had heart problems. He would have been about 85 at the time. His GP then phoned me and asked if I thought he had capacity to make such a decision - I said I did.
When my dad died, suddenly and unexpectedly last year at the age of 90 I was glad he had a DNR and was allowed to pass peacefully. He’d had enough and, although I was very upset at the time, I’m sure it was the best thing for him.
Sometimes we just have to know when to let go.
ThanksI have had one done for dad and we have it in his home. Dad is nearly 90 very frail and has cancer. I think it would be an awful thing for dad to have to go through and would cause him a lot of pain and damage if he survived. Resuscitation rarely works and on an elderly person would probably result in brain damage and broken bones. It is quite a brutal procedure and nothing like you would see on TV
Dad would agree if he understood but he doesn't so I made the decision. He can have any other treatment needed but not resuscitation as there would be no point.