Mum is 76 and was diagnosed with mixed dementia (Alzheimer’s and vascular) about 2 years ago. She was living on her own until March this year, with carers twice a day (she refused all types of personal care so they simply put her pills out and washed the dishes!) and attended a day centre for 5 days per week, which she loved. After she’d been attending the day centre for about 6 weeks, my sister and I, with agreement of CMHT and social services, came to the conclusion that she needed full time care and she was moved into a care home. Initially, her care home was near my sister in the north west, but whilst the staff were great, it didn’t really meet mums needs. There was no outside space, her room was in the converted attic and it was so loud! Mum was distressed. We found a home near me in the south west, social services agreed to meet the new cost and we moved mum in April. All was going well for a few weeks, but then she started to lash out at staff. We never saw the behaviour and neither did her new Community Psych nurse. Mum started to have falls, and then after in she seemed to simply forget how to walk. She was admitted to hospital with a raging UTI which they managed to control with IV gentamicin then oral antibiotics. She was discharged to a nursing home, thankfully a 2 minute walk from my house. In hospital she had walked with a frame, but since discharge she has never walked again. That was on 20/09/19. She was back in hospital for just over a week with sepsis, pneumonia and diverticulitis and was discharged again with oral antibiotics.
Fast forward 8 days and we’re sat holding her hand, trying to make sure she’s not in any pain, ande telling her how much we love her. I can’t stop crying. But I know she can still hear us so I’m trying not to. 6 weeks ago she was walking with one stick and shovelling anything sweet down her. We knew there was only one way out of this hideous disease, but it’s been so quick! She’s now had 2 doses of diamorphine and midazolam, and we’re panicking that we’re shuffling her off before her time. The nursing staff in her home are lovely, and experienced in palliative care, but we’ve had to point out that she’s distressed/in pain for them to give the meds. The only reason we know the signs is we lost our dad to cancer 18 months ago, 5 weeks after diagnosis
Anyway, I’ve probably rambled far too much now. I know many of you have experienced these circumstances and come through the other side, so I shall too! Sorry for rambling x
Fast forward 8 days and we’re sat holding her hand, trying to make sure she’s not in any pain, ande telling her how much we love her. I can’t stop crying. But I know she can still hear us so I’m trying not to. 6 weeks ago she was walking with one stick and shovelling anything sweet down her. We knew there was only one way out of this hideous disease, but it’s been so quick! She’s now had 2 doses of diamorphine and midazolam, and we’re panicking that we’re shuffling her off before her time. The nursing staff in her home are lovely, and experienced in palliative care, but we’ve had to point out that she’s distressed/in pain for them to give the meds. The only reason we know the signs is we lost our dad to cancer 18 months ago, 5 weeks after diagnosis
Anyway, I’ve probably rambled far too much now. I know many of you have experienced these circumstances and come through the other side, so I shall too! Sorry for rambling x