Non compliance with District Nurses re pressure sore

[Krug 22]

It sounds as if you are doing your best. I do prompt and prompt and prompt re the Fortisips and the pills but then husband gets nasty and tells me to stop treating him as if he has dementia. I can hardly ram the pills down his throat! I would like him NOT to have a bath for a few days, as directed by the District Nurses to give the pressure sores/moisture lesions a chance to heal and the dressings to stay on but he is capable of running his own bath. (but I have to make sure he remembers to switch it off and does not go to sleep when it is running). If I try to stop him having a bath, he will just run one in the night and then I would worry about flooding and him falling. I think this 'grey' area is horrible for the family - I agree mental capacity is fluid. We had a similar occurence with my late father 3 years ago. Endless calls from the Carers saying he would not eat drink or get out of bed and the GP would do nothing. Eventually the Ambulance service was called but father sent them away and then the GP came out, asked me to come over and decided my late father did not have mental capacity. He was in hospital and died there but to get him into a home, and all his friends agreed this would be the only option, would have meant going through the 'court of protection' as hospital social worker thought he did have some mental capacity. I do feel for you and for I it is going to get to a crisis situation before anything happens. I am keeping specific notes so if I do have to go and see his GP I can point out that I am prompting re the food, tablets et al et al

 

[TNJJ]

It is yes.I have sent a letter to the GP about concerns that I have.Also in regular communication with the carers as I leave them notes.I cannot ram the lactose down dad either ,even if I explain every time(dad has a blockage in his colon)he still kicks off.So as he is deemed to have “capacity “he will have to put up with the pain!It could drive me around the bend to be honest.I hope things improve for you and you get some where.But I think to be honest it will end up in a crisis for both of us.

 

[Krug 22]

It is yes.I have sent a letter to the GP about concerns that I have.Also in regular communication with the carers as I leave them notes.I cannot ram the lactose down dad either ,even if I explain every time(dad has a blockage in his colon)he still kicks off.So as he is deemed to have “capacity “he will have to put up with the pain!It could drive me around the bend to be honest.I hope things improve for you and you get some where.But I think to be honest it will end up in a crisis for both of us.

 

[Krug 22]

Yes I know and my heart goes out to you - but we are doing our best and I REALLY hate the phrase 'Mental Capacity' used by the medical profession - seems like a 'get out of jail card free' if you get what I mean? But I do understand that the medical profession are terrified of being sued - my GP was wonderful and explained a lot to me when I was dealing with my late father - he did not patronise me but what he said really scared me - with regard to the needing to section and the reality....stay in touch we can help each other through this.

 

[TNJJ]

Yes I know and my heart goes out to you - but we are doing our best and I REALLY hate the phrase 'Mental Capacity' used by the medical profession - seems like a 'get out of jail card free' if you get what I mean? But I do understand that the medical profession are terrified of being sued - my GP was wonderful and explained a lot to me when I was dealing with my late father - he did not patronise me but what he said really scared me - with regard to the needing to section and the reality....stay in touch we can help each other through this.

I will do.We are around the same age.Take care