I live with my 80 year old husband - I am 57. He has not been diagnosed with dementia but when he had a brain heamatoma back in 2013, he had significant atrophy even taking into account his age and drink dependence. I remain convinced given his non co-operation and lack of personal care such as not doing his teeth that he has dementia. I have written to his GP but he has mental capacity so we cannot really progress without his agreement. I am also quite frightened of him. He has lost weight and is around 8st 7 despite help from a dietician. He lives off Fortisips basically although I do try to get him to eat fruit and solid food. We had the nurses visiting 2x a week and but they cut it down to one due to his non compliance. He now has a grade 2 pressure sore as well as the moisture lesions. He does not take the lactulose/picosulfate so we are dealing with explosions too. He does not move around much and the pressure cushion he has been given is often on the floor or behind his back! He does not sleep on the bed but on the push up sofa. In fairness, we have a Saniflow bathroom upstairs and I dare not risk him flushing things down the loo such as the pads or he will bring the ceiling down. He won't leave the dressings on his bottom or head to give time to heal - he fell end Feb and we are still dealing with a non healing wound. I understand the nurses frustration but I have offered to help move round things and sort out his office so he can have a bed downstairs but he won't let me and has threatened to get the police round if I dispose or his things old tv's/video's et al et al - hoarding is a sign of dementia. He also has threatened to have my friend arrested as I would need help to move things around. At times I feel guilty as he is a frail old man BUT he has lashed out and I am NOT prepared to risk my physical or mental health by forcing him to use the creams or physically putting dressings on against his will. I have written to his GP stating this and she was very good. So in my opinion this self neglect is a sign that he does not have mental capacity but I do realise that getting the medical profession to progress this is not going to happen unless it reaches crisis point. Some of the nicer nurses have explained septis to him and how a grade 2 pressure sore can deterioate and need daily dressing quite quickly. But he still won't comply. Any thoughts on what else I can do? I cannot easily leave the house or I would actually go and get legal advice. Not in a position to leave sadly but I would if I could as he is a very difficult nasty old man - I do realise he is frightened and maybe realises something is wrong and needs compassion but it is so hard. He wont' do his teeth, won't wear his Hearing Aid, or use the drops to clear out the wax. Thanks for reading. Wish there was an answer but in a way if he developed Septis they would at least realise he is a danger to himself. But I do realise that this can be serious even fatal.