Goodbye Mum

[Kikki21]

Sorry that the Priest didn't ask you for or follow your wishes, but everything else sounds to have gone very well. You must feel very relieved, and yet oddly flat. I hope you get a good rest tonight, and can leave all thought of the legal headaches and paperwork for a while.

May your Mum rest in peace.

Thinking of you. Love & best wishes, Marcelle xx

I feel very surreal @Marcelle123 - I know it has all happened & that it is all real but at the same time, it feels like everything has totally speeded up during the past few weeks. It is only a month ago that my mum was going into the hospital for something that seemed so minor at the time & yet we have just had her funeral today.

Fortunately & unfortunately, I will be with the executor tomorrow since he is staying in Nottingham overnight so I will be dealing with stuff tomorrow but it has to be done seeing as he isn’t local.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts & best wishes.

And yes mum I really hope that you can rest in peace. Stage one of your journey back to your home land is complete xx

 

[lis66]

So glad all went well for you kikki21 xx

 

[DianeW]

Glad to hear the funeral went well and had a good attendance, I am sure your Mum would have approved.

Good luck for tomorrow an important day to make a start on the planning and sorting of your Mum’s affairs, I hope you can work well together.

Just remember there is only so much you can do, take each day as it comes.....everything will eventually be sorted and worked out.

Allow yourself to grieve and try to relax a little bit x

 

[Kikki21]

So glad all went well for you kikki21 xx

Thank you - it seems like everyone was really proud of me & said that I did my mum proud which was the main thing xx

 

[Kikki21]

Glad to hear the funeral went well and had a good attendance, I am sure your Mum would have approved.

Good luck for tomorrow an important day to make a start on the planning and sorting of your Mum’s affairs, I hope you can work well together.

Just remember there is only so much you can do, take each day as it comes.....everything will eventually be sorted and worked out.

Allow yourself to grieve and try to relax a little bit x

Thank you. Yes I think the executor has realised that he needs to think carefully about who deals with my mum’s estate. I told him yesterday that costs vary enormously depending on who you use & if you can do much yourself then we will save money so we will see what we can get done today.
I guess I will relax more when more sorting out is done. Luckily, I have a short break coming up in a few weeks time & I’m totally going to need that x

 

[Bunpoots]

I'm glad things went ok for you yesterday. I know what you mean about it being nice to catch up with friends and family even though the circumstances are sad.

Re probate. My daughter and I applied online. It took a couple of hours but was straightforward. Probate was granted 13 days later so quick too. I'm just waiting for the paperwork to arrive now.

 

[Kikki21]

I'm glad things went ok for you yesterday. I know what you mean about it being nice to catch up with friends and family even though the circumstances are sad.

Re probate. My daughter and I applied online. It took a couple of hours but was straightforward. Probate was granted 13 days later so quick too. I'm just waiting for the paperwork to arrive now.

Thank you. I had not seen my cousin R for 4 yrs seeing as she lives in Berlin so it was lovely to see her with her daughter & I don’t even remember meeting her brother who lives in the UK - I must have done but very briefly.

 

[Kikki21]

It’s been quite a day today & i’m pretty exhausted but a lot has been achieved. So the first thing was that we went to get the funeral invoice direct from the funeral directors & then onto the solicitors to get the original will & then onto the bank who were actually brilliant.

Luckily there was a substitute manager in charge at the branch today who is actually a bereavement specialist at the bank so she was able to verify & scan documents & we spoke to the bereavement support team over the phone at the branch. You really are meant to have an appointment but I basically said that English isn’t the executors first language & we only had today to do what we can before he goes back home to Luton & we sorted it!
So they took the details, sorted payment of the funeral, closed the accounts to amalgamate them, that’s 3 Halifax ones plus 1 Lloyd’s one & then they will pay the money into one of his accounts but he said he will open a new account so the admin is easier but he can do that when he gets back home & then the money from
the accounts will be in his account within 5 to 7 days.

I couldn’t get the wake invoice paid as I didn’t have it printed out but the hotel now have the executors details. He has their payment link & I have told them that when the funds hit his account that he will pay them & he will also pay me my instalment payments for the building insurance that I am currently paying.

Then we returned back to my house where I helped him fill out the inheritance tax forms ( basically I did them & he checked & signed it) but my mum’s estate is well under the £325,000 threshold & then I sent him a WhatsApp link to the probate form, plus the link for the renunciation form for cousin K & told him
what to do with both forms. Got copies of stuff done for him as required - so when he has the money from my mum’s accounts, he can pay the cost of probate & send everything off. I also gave him people’s details that are beneficiaries.
All in all, I think I have done incredibly well & that we have achieved a lot.

I’m going to get 2 more valuations done on the bungalow & then i’m going to see who to go with & then tell him so he can officially instruct them - we have a lot of clearing out to do in the meantime at the bungalow.

 

[Elle3]

It’s been quite a day today & i’m pretty exhausted but a lot has been achieved. So the first thing was that we went to get the funeral invoice direct from the funeral directors & then onto the solicitors to get the original will & then onto the bank who were actually brilliant.

Luckily there was a substitute manager in charge at the branch today who is actually a bereavement specialist at the bank so she was able to verify & scan documents & we spoke to the bereavement support team over the phone at the branch. You really are meant to have an appointment but I basically said that English isn’t the executors first language & we only had today to do what we can before he goes back home to Luton & we sorted it!
So they took the details, sorted payment of the funeral, closed the accounts to amalgamate them, that’s 3 Halifax ones plus 1 Lloyd’s one & then they will pay the money into one of his accounts but he said he will open a new account so the admin is easier but he can do that when he gets back home & then the money from
the accounts will be in his account within 5 to 7 days.

I couldn’t get the wake invoice paid as I didn’t have it printed out but the hotel now have the executors details. He has their payment link & I have told them that when the funds hit his account that he will pay them & he will also pay me my instalment payments for the building insurance that I am currently paying.

Then we returned back to my house where I helped him fill out the inheritance tax forms ( basically I did them & he checked & signed it) but my mum’s estate is well under the £325,000 threshold & then I sent him a WhatsApp link to the probate form, plus the link for the renunciation form for cousin K & told him
what to do with both forms. Got copies of stuff done for him as required - so when he has the money from my mum’s accounts, he can pay the cost of probate & send everything off. I also gave him people’s details that are beneficiaries.
All in all, I think I have done incredibly well & that we have achieved a lot.

I’m going to get 2 more valuations done on the bungalow & then i’m going to see who to go with & then tell him so he can officially instruct them - we have a lot of clearing out to do in the meantime at the bungalow.

Well done Kikki21, sounds like a very productive day. I'm so pleased you managed to get so much sorted and hopefully the Executor now realises you are both more than capable of carrying out Probate between you, hence saving a lot of money. x

 

[love.dad.but..]

Well done @Kikki21 that does sound a very productive day and you have given the executor confidence that he, with your guidance and help, can move everything along nicely.

 

[Kikki21]

Well done Kikki21, sounds like a very productive day. I'm so pleased you managed to get so much sorted and hopefully the Executor now realises you are both more than capable of carrying out Probate between you, hence saving a lot of money. x

Thank you, it has been very productive but my head is slightly spinning so I have just sat on the sofa for the last couple of hours enjoying a break! I have stuff to post out tomorrow for my business so I do need to get back into it all & find some more events to do.
I think he has realised that we can do a lot between us but he does have an appointment with Coop Legal Services tomorrow but I think we have covered a lot of it. We really only need a solicitor to sell the house plus an estate agent.

There isn’t a lot of stuff of value in the house. Some items we can put on Shpock the others will be a car boot job & the rest will be to throw away apart from some items that I will keep. X

 

[Kikki21]

Well done @Kikki21 that does sound a very productive day and you have given the executor confidence that he, with your guidance and help, can move everything along nicely.

Yes we have definitely done that - admin was always a strong skill set of mine & it is definitely needed here but it is definitely doable!

 

[Jessbow]

Surprised the bank didn't open him an executors account. I hope he doesnt have it transferred to his own account

 

[Marcelle123]

Well done for sorting out so many things yesterday.

Hope you have a good day today. Thinking of you. xx

 

[Kikki21]

Surprised the bank didn't open him an executors account. I hope he doesnt have it transferred to his own account

He doesn’t bank with that particular bank but you could nominate one of his which is perfectly acceptable. He said he will open another account at his bank & transfer the money across when it arrives so he is dealing with it at 1 source.
I told him that he will have to prepare a simple set of accounts after everything is sorted out which shows where the money has been allocated so he needs to keep receipts etc.

 

[Kikki21]

Well done for sorting out so many things yesterday.

Hope you have a good day today. Thinking of you. xx

Thank you xx I need to use the Tell Us Once service today to do that side of things & organise some more valuations for next week as we will be doing more house clearance so best get some more boxes organised!

 

[Kikki21]

So I have arranged 2 more valuations for internet based estate agents to come & value the bungalow next week. I have already seen properties for sale with both of them on the estate so I take it that is a good sign & they are also significantly cheaper than other traditional estate agents. I really don’t mind doing viewings on the house as after all, I know the house & I live close by.

Apparently the costing for doing probate with Coop Legal Services was £4000! I said to P that we have done the bulk of the work ourselves already but of course we will need a solicitor to deal with the sale of the house.
I think they tried to put the wind up him a bit as clearly they can see that English is not his first language & they were at pains to ensure that he knows it is on him to get it right.
I said to him well look, you have me to help you if you get stuck & you don’t need to worry about a lot of the things they have mentioned as a lot of them are not relevant to my mum. I sent him
an executor checklist - it might mean that he could pull out too??

 

[Kikki21]

I think P has been worried about being executor but I sent him a checklist yesterday & said that we have done lots off that already & that seemed to calm him down a bit & he seems to be back on an even keel. I spoke to my cousin G about all that we did paperwork wise & she is just concerned for me that I get to have my share of the estate ( not counting the house) I calculated it all up & yes I do have some actual money as well which is much needed & it is his responsibility to ensure that I don’t go short ( would save me getting a loan) but then I suppose that as soon as probate is granted then if there is enough in the account & there will be that he could distribute the funds to the beneficiaries then that is dealt with & then the sale of the bungalow will be proceeding anyway or he waits till the sale has gone through & then distributes as the whole 2nd funeral in Poland has to come out of the estate funds too & we already know that this will not be cheap.

We are thinking that we might extend the trip to Poland from our own pockets but we will see. I found out yesterday that the 2 charities my mum outlined to benefit from her will both exist but i’m not sure how her clothes will benefit a children’s charity in Poland - most of her clothes were pretty old so I asked the executor to find out. It might be better to do a monetary donation to them instead.

 

[Elle3]

I can imagine it is quite daunting for your Executor, it sounds like quite a lot of responsibility and not quite as straightforward as some Estates can be. £4,000 is a lot of money to spend on something you feel able to do. Hopefully with your support and knowledge you can keep him on board. X

 

[Kikki21]

I can imagine it is quite daunting for your Executor, it sounds like quite a lot of responsibility and not quite as straightforward as some Estates can be. £4,000 is a lot of money to spend on something you feel able to do. Hopefully with your support and knowledge you can keep him on board. X

I don’t think it is that daunting but maybe it is because I am used to admin. Basically he has to give money to beneficiaries, how hard is that?
You contact them, tell them, find out their account details & pay them the money. I think that is the easy part.
The hardest part will be selling the house but it’s a standard sale with no chain so that part is easier.
I need to ask P what the £4K charge is actually for as it seems excessive to me! Also I think it makes sense to have a solicitor dealing with this that is local to me & the house. I will see what the local one charges as it may be worth knowing x