Comic relief?

[northumbrian_k]

You had better get ready said my wife today, you've been invited to a wedding. That's me and anyone else who has a copy of this week's Radio Times, where the 'invitation' is splashed all over the front cover. It is a sequel to Four Weddings and a Funeral, exclusive to Comic Relief night on BBC1.

I often think that her ability to read but not comprehend - in fact mostly to misinterpret - is one of the saddest manifestations of my wife's dementia.

 

[Fullticket]

Sad yes, but - bearing in mind I coped with my mother's dementia with some black humour - sometimes it can be quite funny.
I was 'requested' (i.e. told) by an officious social worker that I should write up the day's diary somewhere my mother could read it and this would give her some reassurance and comfort that she was in control of things (we had actually tried that when the dementia was quite mild and then abandoned it). Always keen to do as I am told (!) I scoured the boot sales and found a blackboard with a picture of a male hen (word begins with c, is four letters long, and ends with k and I can't write it out in full). The name of said bird was writ large at the top of the blackboard.
Thereafter, I duly wrote the day's events on the board secure in the knowledge that:
1. She would not read it
2. If she did read it she would not understand it
3. If she did read it and understand it, she would not remember it for more than 10 secs.

Job done. Social worker was happy, I was VERY happy and mum was none the wiser.

Sadly, mum has been gone for a year now but we still have the blackboard and it makes me smile every time I see it.

 

[Grannie G]

My husband used to get a monthly Indian magazine. When it was reporting India`s moon mission he was convinced it was his family members who were responsible for it and began planning a family visit to India so we should not miss out on the glory.

He even told me I must buy a hat.

This lasted a while and although it was sad in it`s own way, @northumbrian_k my husband was so excited and animated we shared the pleasure with him.

 

[maryjoan]

Inn our village is a currently empty Old School House with attached school - Victorian and latterly used as small flats for the elderly, but now, as I say, empty.
OH was wandering round there the other day, having a good look and making his plans for converting the house to his specifications, and making holiday lets of the rest....... all pie in the sky, as we don't even own our own house.... but he enjoyed planning for things as though they were happening and I went along with his make believe.

 

[PalSal]

Humor....I wish. Sounds wonderful I loved that movie...so this is a made for TV new movie?

I am glad you wife is interested in the TV. My hubby...listens to it he says...he sits in a chair which is turned away from the screen. He has no interest , and has not been able to follow a storyline for many years. We never go to the movies.

In the early years, when he was losing his ability to read, he carried the Economist around everywhere with him. My kids called it his "Prop", it was part of his personal identity reading the Economist. So, sad when we all knew he could no longer read it.
He roams from one walk to the next nature walk.But things are very routine for us both now and currently it is not too bad. I find this easier than the early years, when there was so much contention over everything. Now he is so disabled mentally it is fairly easy to direct him, he requires much more physical help, dressing, eating, entertaining. And of course understanding him as his loss of vocabulary is very inhibiting now....he is very quiet. But the anger which was fueled by confusion and memory loss of the early years of this disease are now pretty much over.It is in many ways easier to live with now,. although the decline is very sad. But we are ok for the moment again.

I gave my children and son in law tickets to see Dylan Moran, the Irish comic, in Zurich as their Christmas presents this year. But we will not take my husband , as there is no point, he doesn't get it. Makes me feel pretty mean, but I do not think he would get it and it is going to be my birthday celebration...I hope I can get over feeling guilty about not taking him and just enjoy the evening. But I am looking forward to a good laugh.

 

[marionq]

@PalSal I agree with your decision not to take your husband to events he can't handle anymore. For a while I used to take John to the cinema for any film I really wanted to see and of course he slept through them. I don't bother anymore and saw my first film in a year when he was in hospital - The Favourite - and really enjoyed it.

Adjusting to change is a major part of this illness. Such a lot is lost in these adjustments though.

 

[PalSal]

@PalSal I agree with your decision not to take your husband to events he can't handle anymore. For a while I used to take John to the cinema for any film I really wanted to see and of course he slept through them. I don't bother anymore and saw my first film in a year when he was in hospital - The Favourite - and really enjoyed it.

Adjusting to change is a major part of this illness. Such a lot is lost in these adjustments though.

We went to the favorite when we were in England. Nick went as that is what his sister wanted...I am not sure it mattered he got nothing out of the film. But he did not cause any problems. I just do not want to take him as often he wants to go to the bathroom (unnecessarily he just focuses on that ) So, I will do the comedy show without him.

 

[Debs42]

My husband lost the ability to follow the plot in TV drama or films several years ago (sometimes with TV I find it difficult too!). However, we still go to the pictures once a month or so, usually to a late afternoon showing, followed by a meal and a glass of red, so its a nice evening out. He doesn't understand what's going on in the film but still enjoys the experience. It makes a change from sitting at home. The only problem is that we have to choose seats near the end of a row as he is likely to need the toilet part way through, and of course i have to go with him, as otherwise he wouldnt find his way back!