Mum coming to the end of this horrible illness

[lilaclady]

My mum who is 79 after a big down turn 10 days ago is coming to the end now - she has no swallow, so care home giving mouth care and she is sleeping most of the time. The doctor has prescribed end of life meds in case they are needed but for now she seems very comfortable- not distressed . I really hope she stays pain free- no one can say how long because it depends on what fluids they manage to get her to swallow?
I feel sad that this is the end but this is tinged with relief that she won't be in the grips of this awful disease ?
I am going to try and go up today and sit with her for a bit but I do find it hard as I'm sure everyone does who goes through this . Also I will be there alone which makes it harder.

 

[Cat27]

I’m so sorry @lilaclady. It is so difficult to watch the ones we love fade away. I wish you strength & peace to get through it.

 

[LynneMcV]

This is such a difficult stage and it throws up so many mixed feelings as we watch our loved ones go through it - as well as going through it ourselves. Thinking of you both.

 

[Izzy]

A hard time for you. I wish you strength and I wish your mum peace.

 

[lis66]

Thinking of you and your mum at this sad and difficult time xx

 

[lilaclady]

Mum is still with us - she has had no fluids for 5 days now - only mouth care, she is on an airflow mattress and is very still . She half opens an eye from time to time but mainly sleeps. I have been going in daily for a bit but I can't stay all the time - the care home will ring if anything changes. I feel like I am in limbo - if I'm at home I feel guilty I'm not with mum even though she is sleeping- and if I'm at the care home I feel like I should be looking after my family?
The doctor has prescribed the end of life pack so mum will be comfortable hopefully - is just awful watching her like this .

 

[canary]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @lilaclady

I remember this limboland, this twilight world, well. Try and arrange things so that you have as little to do at home as possible to try and reduce the stress.
This stage can go on for a surprisingly long time. My mum went 17 days with no food or fluid, although most people do not go on that long. You will know when you are reaching the end because her breathing will change and become irregular with gaps between breaths.

 

[Doggy86*]

Mum is still with us - she has had no fluids for 5 days now - only mouth care, she is on an airflow mattress and is very still . She half opens an eye from time to time but mainly sleeps. I have been going in daily for a bit but I can't stay all the time - the care home will ring if anything changes. I feel like I am in limbo - if I'm at home I feel guilty I'm not with mum even though she is sleeping- and if I'm at the care home I feel like I should be looking after my family?
The doctor has prescribed the end of life pack so mum will be comfortable hopefully - is just awful watching her like this .

 

[Doggy86*]

Hi Lilaclady,

I understand how you are feeling as I am going through the same thing, my Mum is at home, she is not eating at all and now she is only having a few sipps of fluid.

Its a horrible time, thinking of you

 

[lilaclady]

Been called back to the care home - mum's breathing has changed- got shallower and faster - she is peaceful though - so hard sitting here waiting for her last breath - there is classical music playing and all is quiet

 

[Cat27]

Thinking of you @lilaclady.

 

[lilaclady]

Mum passed away in the early hours - it was peaceful - her breathing got shallower and slower then stopped , I am so sad but also relieved her dementia battle has ended.

 

[KathrynAnne]

Sending love to you and your family. Your Mum is at peace now and free from this horrible disease xxx

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry to read of your loss. I’m glad your mum’s passing was peaceful. Sending my condolences and wishing you strength.

 

[Cat27]

I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

 

[lis66]

So sorry for your loss your mum is now free from this horrundeous illness xxxx

 

[canary]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @lilaclady

Im so sorry for your loss, but glad it was peaceful
Be gentle with yourself now.